Your Job Should NOT Be Your Identity

Work has always played a role in your identity, but when did it become your identity? As layoffs are mounting, I know a lot of people whose self identity is wrapped up in their jobs have found themselves psychologically dislocated. Their identity was based on their job title or their company, and once that went away - so did their sense of self. How do I know? Because it happened to me. In this video I’m diving into the risks, reasons, and how to disassociate your identity from your job. I hope it helps

Timestamps
0:00 You are not your job, or are you?
0:16 The risks of letting your job define you
1:55 The shift to Always On culture
3:35 You’re in a codependent relationship with your company
7:36 How to be more than just your job

************************
BUY MY BOOK! Career Glow Up is out now:

Uncover your fastest career growth track: download my UAQ Starter Kit (it won’t be free much longer!)::

Want to work with me? My current courses & programs:

New workshops & programs are always coming, keep an eye for more!

************************

Got a Question? Join my Ask Me Anything (AMA) Wednesdays on Insta

Want daily career glow up content?

Want to work with me? Find out how:

For business and partnership inquiries ONLY (no solicitation):

For book recommendations, WFH must haves, filming setup & more:

*************************
Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in NO WAY obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!

#smashtheceiling #careerexpert #careeradvice

[carlavel]

I learned this lesson in my late 20's when I had a car accident on my way to visit a client (former social worker). Jobs come and go, but our time on this earth is limited and people tend to forget that. When my time comes, no job nor coworkers will miss me like my family or friends..

[innerpeace]

I’ve been working hard this year to revive friendships I’ve neglected while trying to climb the ladder, engage in extra curricular activities outside of work, and stick to a 40hour work week and nothing more. I’m doing this to ensure that I have a “full life” and “full identity” outside of my work life so when I move on from job, I still have something more to live for. My mantra is “get a life” for this new year.

[coloneljackmustard]

I work as a building engineer but have always identified as a historian and a cyclist. The job is a means of paying the bills. Nothing more.

[mymentorjane]

My identity became enmeshed with my job because I was unconsciously trying to prove I wasn’t a bad person. Some things I did in my 20s (3 abortions) destroyed my self-respect. For a long time after, I poured myself into my work believing professional success would make up for my losses. It didn’t. The result was exhaustion and depression. My point is that it’s important to look for a trauma or tragedy that’s driving your life and get help.

[ResilientFighter]

I needed this badly. My job was my identity. When I lost my job, I hit depression for months. I also did not like the environment.

[RiannaNicole]

I lost myself in my last job and even though I’m 18 months out of that job, I’m finally at the place mentally, where I am exploring hobbies and new creative outlets, and it’s like I’m a kid again, figuring out what I like and want to do more on a regular basis.
You can enjoy your coworkers and have a nice time with colleagues but to make it your only friend circle (as someone who did this), it’s a grief cycle when you’re coming out of that phase of thinking/life.

[goldendogs]

I once worked in an industry where people defined themselves by their job. Once they left the industry, usually not by choice, they had a hard time coping. It was pathetic.

[galaxy_mosaic]

adding to the list of reasons why you might make your job your identity, if your parents are first generation immigrants the amount of cultural value placed on your job/career is really really high and also you feel the pressure of the sacrifices that your parents went through to live in a second country. 2 I think the US consumer culture makes it so that if your job salary is not similar to that of your friends, you might feel lesser or like you are dragging them down (I felt this when going through a long bout of unemployment). 3 if you work in tech as an engineer, your job can easily become your life because outside of work you probably still need to spend a good amount of time studying (to keep up with your current job and to keep up with the changes in the industry overall). so you can give up a good deal of personal time just to keep up and be sellable in the job space. I'm trying to make space for work life balance. also trying to think more about work as a way to support the type of lifestyle I would like to live but it is an everyday challenge

[katiedunbar]

Thank you so much for this video! I am in medicine and my career took many years of higher education to achieve. My Husband has been preaching this message for months as I have been battling severe burnout. I needed to see this today.

[wil_L]

If you think about it, it makes sense that your job IS most of your identity. If we're going by the proportion of your time spent, your job or career easily takes the top spot unless you're unemployed or self employed.

To me, if we're going to define your identity on something, it would make the most sense to base it on where you spend most of your waking hours.

When we introduce ourselves to people, they will usually ask what we do for work. Barely anyone asks about your hobbies initially. Outside your family and close friends, people know you mainly by your job.

Having said all that, even though your job is 80-90% of your identity, it is also very fluid and change in an instant if you get a job elsewhere or a promotion. Therefore we shouldn't be overly committed to our job if we don't like it.

[FaintAura]

I make a good salary for my age/location, but if I got fired today, I wouldn't give a damn honestly. That would light the fire under me to finally kickstart my entrepreneurship after working on it on the side for the past 4 years.

[LindseyObrooke]

I haven’t watched this yet, but just want to say that I am so happy to have found your channel. I found it because I got passed up for a promotion and am kind of heartbroken over it, super angry, but trying to be classy and move forward. Gotta face the parts of yourself where you made mistakes, and that’s what I’m working to do, and your channel has been helping me so much. Only for the one night I’ve watched a few eps. Will be binging this weekend.

[Huskymom]

I work for a company where I bent over backwards to cover shifts, arrive extra early, stay late, etc, and found out other co workers who did far less were getting paid more than me!
I eventually asked for a raise, and they never got back to me.
6 months later they won’t raise my base and are “thinking” about a 2% increase on my commission.
I eventually went down to part time and I barely cover anymore. There is no incentive to do otherwise because people who aren’t as qualified as I am working the same job and doing far less are getting paid more.
I don’t even care if I get the raise now.
I’ll work my hours and don’t ask me for anything extra anymore. Because after choosing my job over my relationships it didn’t get me anywhere.

[monnica]

I also worked for the same company. Joined just as my mom was in her final weeks of life, leaving me without close family. I was taken in by "ohana" talk and it really did a number on me. Ended up with a toxic boss and team, toiling for years for nothing (the boss played favorites). I'm still dealing with the PTSD and health issues from all that stress. Wish I'd known then what I know now.

[beccagoldsberryswc]

More people need this video Jennifer! Loved this. It took me a couple of years to get this down but it was worth putting in the work to balance everything out. I am a mom first!

[leandrawilkerson]

I saw a post on LinkedIn a woman getting ready to have her baby was laid off from Google. She was very worried and stressed and I hoped it didn’t have a bad effect in her baby. I reached out and gave her some recommendations for recruiters. I hope she sees your videos and doesn’t stress about a company or any company which will replace you in a heartbeat.

[vikastiwari]

Right..
Job is job...

Options to kafi he hamare paas ....


Job Krna maksad nhi he After 10 year...

[colejohnson]

The notion of needing to be "always on" can be such a slippery slope at times, even when we've done the work to create new boundaries for ourselves. Since life is so multifaceted, we may be more inclined to focus our energy and attention on the areas of strength and neglect areas that are in greater need of focus at this moment.

For instance, the career realm has always been an area I've shied away from truly going after what I want. After a while the person I was becoming at my job was the person I was becoming in all areas of life...burned out and unhappy. I realized I have to face this head on if I want things to change. Starting to see the subtle shifts in the positive direction now.

[lesliengo]

Our work is not our identity. What I find helpful to not associate myself as my job is this mantra I use: "just like how the mountains, forests, and oceans is worthy just by existing, I don't need to prove my worthiness by doing all these things. I am worthy because I was born." This helps me to see life as an experience to be lived, not an expectation to be met.

[nurse.christian]

My first step was blocking my manager from my cell 🔥