Why You Can't Leave Your House

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▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:00 - Reddit post
02:38 - Evolution & vestigial
05:14 - Vestigial in modern day
09:32 - How do you reach this place?
13:06 - Things to do outside?
16:41 - Development of friendship
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#anxiety #socialanxiety #motivation #outside #grass #overcome #COVID #COVID-19 #drk #doctork #healthygamer #healthygamergg #healthygamer_gg #twitch #psychiatrist #psychology #evolution #nature #natural #health #selfhelp #help #social #coaching #gaming #gamer #ragequit #fear

[emilka]

A really cool thing you can do that is completely fine to do alone is visit a museum, botanical garden, planetarium, or an aquarium. A lot of these places now make you buy tickets online based on a time slot (you can enter from 1pm-2pm for example) and you just show your pass on your smartphone or printed out on your way in.

Dinosaurs are rad go look at their big bones and be in awe of nature. Staring down into the dead eyeholes of a 65 million year old, 15, 000 lb creature is surreal.

[IceRiver]

When my dad commented about me not knowing how to change a tire that one time, my response was, "And who tried to teach me that? No one? Yeah." Seriously, whenever my parents make comments about me not knowing something, that's the kind of response they should expect, they can't even blame a school for not teaching me stuff, because I'm home schooled.
And when it comes to the rare individual who decides that they CAN blame you for not knowing something because they realize that the internet exists, you can point out that they're expecting the "ignorant" to be the ones to know what they're even supposed to learn in the first place.

[mikasasukasa]

own your shit. stand around by yourself awkwardly and own it, go buy some coffee and sit by yourself drinking it with no phone and just enjoy your coffee. its scary but slowly youll gain confidence and youll start to gain idgaf attitude. its super hard at first but man youll feel so good putting yourself out there like that.

[conniemcfalcon]

Honestly? My go-to "I'm trying to not be a hermit" activity is grocery shopping. Growing up with a wide family all older than me meant I never went grocery shopping by myself, so It's really good practice to take the initiative and say "i need this, i will shop for it myself".

It's quite useful, you talk to a cashier and practice being nice to people casually, the volume and tone of your voice, smiles, saying hi. If you're tall then someone short (like me) might ask for help to get something from a higher shelf. Grocery shopping is awesome.

[davidwang]

The “Bro” nod is such an integral part of society. It’s a way of being polite and greeting somebody that can be done without even slowing down. So efficient.

[buckwheat_flower]

I'm trapped between not knowing how to socialize much and not knowing the internet as well to be considered cool and interesting

[SomeoneBeginingWithI]

I think part of this person's problem might be that they learned in school that if you're on your own that's weird and cringy and people will judge you for not having friends. This is true of teenagers, but it's much less true for adults. Dr K is right that there are some situations like children's play areas where people will be uncomfortable or suspicious of a lone adult, but in most public places it's completely acceptable for an adult to be alone. You really can just go for a walk, or take a book to read, it it will be okay. Nobody will care.

If you believe it's not okay for you to go outside alone, and then don't go outside, you don't get a chance to see how many adults are outside by themselves and how normal that is. I know it's really hard to "just do it" when you're anxious, but I think in this case when the fear is being judged for something that people actually won't judge you for, the solution is to try it in whatever way is achievable for you, so you can see for yourself that it's okay.

If you have bad memories from school, and that's part of why you feel like you'll be judged, talking to a therapist about that might help.

[eviltim]

sometimes chat is just a wealth of hilariousness "10, 000 years ago diarrhea had an insane KD." 8:28

[buckwheat_flower]

I love how Dr K is pointing out the social situations that's considered creepy 😂

[ryanhollist]

Once again, the concept of Sartre's "gaze" comes up. He wrote about how knowing that others are observing us (or even our own self awareness) makes us suffer. It's what he was talking about when he said his famous phrase, "Hell is other people."

[synthguy]

The thing to remember is that people are just about as afraid of social interaction as you are, the difference is that most people develop the courage because they have to. Also, remembering to enjoy the journey as opposed to the end result makes things a bit easier. If you don't get any attention or people ignore you, the more important thing is that you got your point across and best of all, you survived! The more you expose yourself, the better you get.

[sirturd]

I realized over the last year I was scared to do anything for fear of people seeing me fail, I could only exercise in my own room, Just about the only thing I could tolerate in the street or even in the driveway was walk, couple times I summoned the courage to run and I felt watched and an urge to turn back immediately. (This was the case for about 2-3 years)
All I will say is that, even though my situation was different, don’t lose hope. Im not going to say “I’m living my dream life.” But as far as things I wished to accomplish I’m on the right track. It’s not necessary to go from doing nothing to being where you want just find a place to start.
Good luck everyone.

[ragnr]

At 11:45 someone in chat said, "but my peers came up in similar situations to mine and they still go outside and do stuff". To that my answer is, that's because the people you meet when you go out are other people who go out. Obviously, we never hear about all the ones who stay in which is why they seem less prevalent then they are.

[julyol]

After being at home for a really long time I also get the apprehension of going outside. And it gets kinda hard to get ready, when you've lost the habits around it.
Now I have to go to uni again and damn, I totally forgot how long it takes to get ready.
Anyway, what I feel like helps to lift the anxiety of going out, is to plan every second.
Like, when I didn't go to uni, I still kinda forced myself to go out sometimes and I always had a reason to do so. Like, I would go out and walk to the grocery store with the plan to get some oranges or something and then, often on the way home, I'd take a detour and just walk "the long way" home. Or if I didn't really have any other reason, I'd take food with me and would eat on a bench instead of home. Having a plan and just doing that helped a lot with getting started.

Btw. I didn't always have a problem to go out, just after becoming a grown ass adult over 25 and falling into depression. So I'm pretty sure you can lose this ability, even if you once had no problem with it.

[Balloonbot]

I've put myself in social situations a lot, spent the last 8 years in social offices - and even thrived in them sometimes, having fun and making friends along the way. Then the next time I have the chance to socialise i'll feel just as afraid to do so as i did before, still feel nervous going to the shops, get anxiety before going to the gym - all of it. I understand "exposure therapy" is a thing, but it just doesnt apply to me because i feel like im relying on my "social version" of me to come out, and im always worried it'll fail me, and it can be exhausting to try and keep it up. In a way i find it comforting that its not always just a matter just practicing more - but really being actually vulnerable and allowing some people to dislike that. The cheesy instagram posts were right all along I guess "be your authentic self" right?

[mrincognito]

going to the gym really isnt going to do much because it's a solo activity.
most just go there, do their thing and leave.
even joining classes doesn't do much, because after class everybody just rush out...
also thought it would be different lol

[RahulSharma-otwo]

Alternate solution : order grass and touch it inside your house

[DougyFreshGames]

As someone who has anxiety its because we just aren’t socializing enough. Practice practice practice just like you do your video games ;)

[mitthrawnuruodo]

I have no problem going outside, just don’t want to most of the time. The problem is socializing with people that I don’t click with. I’m not the fastest thinker and a LOT of social cues fly over my head. I also misinterpret things unless it’s explained to me in detail. Half the time I can’t even pay attention to social conversations without trailing off into my own little world which in my opinion is much more interesting. Also I’m a deep thinker and love to talk about topics like the state of politics and existence, etc. problem with that is in today’s political climate people like to just argue that they are right and you are retarded instead of having an open conversation. Can’t stand “small talk” and going up to a random person and talk to them. Ironic because I don’t engage unless I know you.

[hollowedboi]

I’d like to say that “it’s as if you’re a therapist reading my mind, ” or, “what are you google?” But I’m gonna take what he said in the beginning as the reason: most of these issues being brought up are societal rather than solely individual. Thanks for bringing these topics up