3 Ways the Family Affects Borderline Personality Disorder (& Vice Versa)

Dr. Ramani shares 3 ways the family system affects borderline personality disorder (BPD), and vice versa, in this video.

Our family has a major impact on our mental health. It shapes our future ability to maintain healthy relationships, regulate our emotions, and cope with fear and anger.

So when one family member faces an illness like borderline personality disorder, which by definition hurts someone’s ability to do all of those things, the entire family unit suffers.

In this video interview, MedCircle host Kyle Kittleson and psychologist / borderline personality disorder (BPD) expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula have a discussion on 3 ways the family affects borderline personality disorder - & vice versa.

[MedCircle]

Which situation that Dr. Ramani shares in this video do you most relate to? Let us know in the comments below - we want to hear your story.

[samanthabushnell]

Bpd posses one of the most painful self awarenesses in mental health. We know. We really do. The over stimulation, the constant thoughts of "maybe I'm autistic", the worry that we're narcissistic. It is NONSTOP mental review & over analyze.

[theresa]

I don't know who hates us more, ourselves or others. I honestly hate my emotions and fatigue. Emotional and psychological abuse is where I got it, no doubt. I was programmed to view everyone as hostile and hateful towards me because the ones who should love me the most treated me that way. I was programmed to feel rejected by everyone, and my emotions respond as such.

[JenniferSteel]

The anxiety. The worry. The helplessness.
It never ends.

[veronicablazer]

Im 26 & got diagnosed with BPD last year and my parents became more detached and cold to me. So I’ve spent nearly a year unpacking a borderline diagnosis and also grieving the loss of hope that I’d one day get the love and emotional support from my parents that I needed and wanted for so many years.

[lauragadille]

My family triggers my emotions especially my anixety.

[mariacallas]

This is why I don't want to be around anyone. They don't understand and they don't want to. I wish I could live alone. It's not fair to either of us. I wish I could live away from society.

[thechymera]

I have BPD and I was raised by a mother with narcissistic personality disorder and I feel like she gave it to me. I feel like instead of becoming a narcissist I became this instead.

[CountanceD]

Our daughter is an adoptee. She came into our lives when she was less that six months old. She needed more of everything than our son (also an adoptee) did. More attention, more affection, more love, more structure. But it was still never enough. It was like her ‘well’ was always empty. I asked questions of people so often. I knew in my soul that she needed help to feel more real, to feel the love we gave her everyday, to control her emotions. No one had an answer for us. She’s now serving time in prison. I wish I could have known about this disorder much earlier. We took her to so many counselors, but none of them ever mentioned this as a possibility. I wish our sweet, beautiful daughter could have gotten some help earlier.

[kahlodiego]

I come from a family of bullies. My sister would bully me because my mom enjoyed it and it strengthened their bond. Borderlines come from sick families. It isn't just a matter of communication style.

[Triptoess]

I could show my family this and they’d still consider me dramatic. That I’m not trying and just overthinking because I choose too.. it’s nice hearing and watching these videos because it feels so validating to hear people explain my diagnosis with compassion rather than annoyance and frustration

[katemarielipscomb]

I feel so deregulated and illogical. Waves of emotion from no where and everywhere. How do you function like a regular person with this?

[buddy]

I was married to a Borderline for 29 years. Life was a roller coaster of emotions and anger all the time. About 10 years ago I read an article from a mental health professional who was trying to change the name from BPD to ERD (emotional regulation disorder).

[giselleclarke]

I eventually left a relationship with someone I loved as I could no longer deal with the daily stressors and instability. I had to save myself.

[dianac]

“ I feel like I never know the right thing to say” that resonated with me

[selgomezfanrcw]

My parents always tell me everytime I get upset that they just stopped talking to me because they're sick of walking on egg shells around me. Like yes I know, I'm sick of it too. And it hurts that we aren't close. My brother hasn't spoken to me in over a year because of my bpd. He's sick of how I act.

[raerae]

I have BPD and it has been a nightmare trying to get treatment! There is such a stigma with BPD, nobody wants to treat someone with this disorder.

[yelalabear]

I have bpd symptoms. Its very difficult to live with and its debilitating. Cant afford to see a therapist so these videos mean a lot to me. My heart goes out to those who are struggling. You are not alone. Hang in there. You are alive for a reason.

[diamantemrobinson]

I have BPD and I've showed signs of mental illness for a very long time but my family ignored it and punished me when acting out. As I got older by behavior got worse and hit a all time high when I was in the army. I got treatment in the army but once I left it got back bad and now I'm just receiving treatment but my family isn't a part of it they don't acknowledge it which creates a rift.

[sonnyca]

Narcissistic parents give rise to children with personality disorders. Going into joint therapy with those family members can be emotionally gut wrenching for the children not as much for the manipulative narcissistic parent(s).