Understanding your core values

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[mediokritet]

I remember being a kid, maybe 10 years old. And my mom saying being a mother is the most important role of her life. Even at that age I was surprised to hear that as her actions certainly did not match that.

[Alibrose]

This is what you rescued me from-self-pity, helplessness and the spirit of self-victimisation, as well as playing the victim. For the first time, I had to look inwards and find answers to why I was not happy. Narcs came along, but I facilitated the abuse. I am breaking the chain-starting from me.

[janebrown]

These videos are a very generous gift to the world. Understanding is invaluable. Thank you.

[estheranders]

One day I remember a few years ago sitting down thinking about where I was and what I was doing, I then realized I could no longer recognize me. I had lost almost all sense of who I was and wanted to be. Instead my days were filled by trying to please my husband. So i decided to take a step back and find me again. It's through these videos I am finally coming to terms with me and how far I let myself go into my marriage, and learning how my dad shaped my entire life with wrong indoctrination. I have been talking with my Pastor about things and even told him of your videos and how much they have helped. He thankfully is very understanding and really gets what I am saying. I feel like I am finally in a good place to heal, after 38 years of being manipulated and shaped by Narcissists i am finally breaking free. Thanks!

[melissad.]

When you have to live in survival mode, hypervigilance to stay safe your values disappear. This has caused me so much struggle with shame and guilt.

[Gearhart_Music]

My ex used to "help" people all the time, and would later complain about all the other people peripheral to the situation that didn't step in and help. It always made me question her motives for wanting to help people. She was always out to win social points for "doing the right thing" and being perceived as a good person, but I saw all the negativity she would spew when the people she helped did not return the favor. It told me everything I ever needed to know about her.

[re-becca]

The one feeling I had after getting out of my relationship was "he took things from me that I didn't know anyone could" because I had given up core values of mine to try and make it work. And that was the most devastating thing to me.

[LoriGeminiTarot]

For those who see this: may you find inner peace, happiness, and heal from past traumas. You are worthy of love, and you must raise your voice. Know your worth and add tax ❤️🙏

[seekerofknowledge]

Yes, my downfall was not standing strongly up for my core values when my covert slowly started to violate those boundaries! He mirrored them for a decade but could not hold up the façade. Coverts really trick your thinking. Now I won't let anyone talk me out of them Thanks to You Dr. Ramani!

[dhanyaslifeventure]

Our strong values like being empathetic, valuing emotions, being considerate, to see good in others, to forgive are exploited by narcs.They assess it in the start and use for their supply, leave us puzzled.Let's have values of loving them by leaving them forever.

[Applauseify]

This hit home. Core values were completely moved in the relationship with narc. Narc mentioned compassion, wellness, honesty, and integrity. I couldn't see it but then i gaslighted myself I am the problem

[Linda]

My narcastic man made me devalue my core values to the extent I was becoming ashamed of myself the way I was behaving sometimes ie nothing like myself! That word "stuck " resonates loudly in my head again. I felt stuck and asked friends if they ever felt stuck, no they didn't. Now narco is gone I no longer feel stuck and my core values are how they used to be. Thankfully. Dr.Ramani you are a God sent 🙏I'm really enjoying this series, thankyou

[devidaughter]

"the shapeshifting of the narcissistic relationship" (5:55). . . can lead to drifting away from our original core values (6:34). . . "when we are being pulled astray from our core values, that's about as big a red flag as there can be" (10:20)

[pipersisk]

Compassion is probably my biggest core value. It’s basically the golden rule. Compassion is why I’m vegan, and it’s why try to live sustainably. But I didn’t treat my narc father the way I’d like to be treated when I called him out on all the things he’s done to me. I told him it wasn’t ok to do, and I told him I wouldn’t be putting up with it anymore. One of the few times in my life that I refused to back down. If there’s one good thing the narc taught me, it was how to stand up for myself.

[layotheleprechaun]

Practicing saying my core values through affirmations helps me stay true to them🙏🏻

[mgb]

After years and years, I came to the conclusion that I could never be who I wanted to be as long as I was with the N. I hated who I was in that relationship. My only chance to live what I value meant leaving, even though it means taking on terrible problems. At least I can face those problems as me, instead of having to submit to what the N wants.

[Dan-udhz]

“There are few fates worse than sustained, self-protective, self-paralyzing, generalized distrust of one’s human environment. The worst pathology of trust is a life-poisoning reaction to any betrayal of trust.”
Annette Baier, philosopher

[freepirit]

My core value, I realised, is to have peace of mind. And that was impossible with the narc. I choose me.

[pwhite]

My MN mothers’ core values never sat well with me. It’s not how I saw the world. I guess I was fortunate to have a very empathic father who instilled some solid values and who could point out the grey between her black and white thinking.

[peterknyk]

Thank you Dr. Ramani! Integrity, faithfulness, hard work, and many others are core values that I cherish but above all I cherish my ability to be resilient after years of narcissistic abuse. Without having the ability to be resilient I know that, for certain, I could easily be stuck in all the difficult behaviorial patterns that plague us after narcissistic abuse. Resiliency requires me to be faithful to myself and to be honest with myself and to do the hard work that is necessary to become a whole person again. 🙏 thank you so much Dr. Ramani for this video!