The Dark Side of Self Improvement | Suzanne Eder | TEDxWilmington

Suzanne Eder talks about self improvement at a 2015 TEDX event in Wilmington, Delaware.

Suzanne Eder is a world-class teacher, facilitator and mentor. She founded Solid Ground Transformational Life Coaching in 2003 to help people wake up to their magnificence and create lives they truly love. Suzanne currently authors an award-winning monthly column in Living Well Magazine and has published a book, 10 Ways to Find Peace Rather Than Panic, which earned a full 5-star rating on Amazon. She is a graduate of the Barbara Brennan School of Healing, an intense 4-year program in mind-body-spirit health and healing. Suzanne also has degrees in both Accounting and Economics and graduated summa cum laude from the University of Delaware. Currently resides in Wilmington, Delaware.

[justanalt]

I don't self-improve because I feel like something is wrong with me. I self improve because I know I can be better.

[Dycehart]

You can simultaneously be a masterpiece and a work in progress.

[EGV]

You can't hate yourself into a version of you you can love.

[Adrian-yifl]

"Growth-oriented instead of Goal-oriented." That's powerful.

[baby_d]

“The bud is not less whole than the blossom. It’s just in a different stage of development.” I needed to hear that. Thank you.

[firstnamelastname]

“When we think there’s something wrong with us, we look outside of ourselves for answers and solutions.”

Yeah, why do you think I watch so many tedtalks?

[madelyntoday]

I've spent decades on self-improvement and I've decided that the best way to live is to love yourself and to enjoy the moment.

[huckmart]

The way I look at it, is "I'm enough right now, but I want to be better". It allows me to shrug off setbacks a lot easier and stay motivated.

[alfonsodelosreyes]

We need to be more "growth" oriented than "goal" oriented. This hit me HARD. There's so much content on self-improvement that tells us you NEED to be this, successful people DO that, which makes people feel bad when they can't consistently do what these "gurus" tell us to do every single day. I'm going through this right now. I'm trying my hardest to "CHANGE" but sometimes I do fall off because it's hard to learn and practice new habits that is a "MUST" to be SUCCESSFUL when I judge myself based on people's advice. I believe there are habits and strategies that a person can learn to succeed, but we should not judge ourselves based on this HIGH standard, and find happiness in growing everyday and doing more each day and feel fulfilled by our own actions, not because we followed an advice or formula for success told to us by others. Growth rather than goal oriented is the key to self-improvement.

[pameladegroot]

"She leant how to stop pushing her self forward and instead STARTED LOVING HER SELF FORWARD."

I love that.

[BeOutstanding]

The most inspirational TED talk I have ever heard. I read a lot of self-help books but never have the confidence. Now I know it's mainly because I have submitted myself to so many people's formulas without carving out one myself.

[glanced]

Self improvement is an art. And like Da Vinci once said, "Art is never finished, only abandoned."

[lancereddick]

“She learned how to translate her feelings into information she could use.”
Powerful...

[engenhomental]

This Woman has said everything that is necessary to be said in 11min.! Congratulations!

[JoeSmith-rqnq]

this video has so many great gems of wisdom!!!
-"the bud of the flower is just as whole as the blossom"
-"instead of asking 'what do i need to fix about myself' ask 'what do i want to create? what do i want to experience? how do i want to grow?'"
-"self judgment will not help you if your goal is improvement"

i think this video is exactly what i needed. i've been feeling really lost here recently. i got out of homeschool and decided to go travel. I went from being a pretty sheltered teen to being a homeless guy. i've been going a lot of interesting places meeting interesting people. but i've been told repeatedly that i'm a child. and i've been directly told about things i need to work on... mostly related to maturity, of course. and its been really bringing me down. and yeah... i know i have a lot to learn.

i don't think the people i've met are Wrong about how i could improve... but i definitely think i was giving them a bit too much power over me. i assumed "these are grown adults and they've been doing this all longer than i have so i should listen to them..." and yes. kinda. I think I still do want to "accept their wisdom" but i don't want to "give my power" to them and let them assign their time frames and demands.

anyway, I'm just ranting in a youtube comment section lmao

[LarryPanozzo]

I love how she has a degree in accounting. Don’t do what is expected of you! Do what you love! Start young!

[MrKockabilly]

Seeking self-improvement doesn't mean there is wrong with me or doesnt mean I am not growing. It means I want to accelerate growth. Life is short.

[ceebee]

Since watching this I have not only caught myself saying "what is wrong with me?" in moments of dissatisfaction or frustration, but have caught others in my life doing the same thing! When I caught myself and them, it was really helpful to pause and think about Suzanne's words. Instead of immediately heading down the path of self-correction, comparing myself to some "perfect" "other" version of myself that I haven't yet become (a goto move of mine), I took a minute to consider and recognize what other things were going on within me. Reorienting myself from self-criticism to self-reflection even a little bit in that moment somehow made me feel less restricted in moving past what I was frustrated about. As small as this particular moment was, it was really awakening to put this into practice! I'd love to be able to put this into practice during life's more difficult impasses and challenges. Thank you Suzanne for offering such a simple idea that seems so impactful!

[Javmonster]

I feel like she wasn't talking about Darla, I feel like she was specifically talking about me directly. Wow I needed to hear this, thank you for the post. This is a blessing Alhamdullilah.

[chamomiletea]

Thank you for telling me that I know what is best for me. People have always pushed into my life and told me what to do and who to be. It made me nervous and sad. I am finally learning to insist on making my own decisions about life. The guilt of not pleasing people is something I keep working on. All the self improvement tapes, books, and classes can be a waste of time after awhile. It is not about taking one more class. It really does come down to listening to that wisdom from inside which needs to be honored.