Monotropism: One Step at a Time (autism)

There are 3 theories which, to me, explain more about what makes us autistic than any others. Monotropism is one. What is monotropism and how do we see it in our autistic lives? A colourful tale...

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[faith]

That’s why I shut down when I’m in a group and why I am more open one on one

[elkeshultz]

before i knew i was autistic i did not understand why group conversations were so stressful. NT people are comfortable interrupting, jumping to new topics, changing track completely. It is frustrating to process the conversation to present, prepare what i'm going to say next, and then have the entire topic derailed before i get a word in.
Recently i have been thinking of Monotropism like having a 1 track mind. Surely trains do not go straight forever but a lot of preperation has to go into switching tracks. Very often whatever goes on in my head distracts me from the outside world and vice versa. I have to conciously switch

[suzettescammahorn]

Oh! You just explained why I get that pannicky feeling if I am interupted doing ordinary tasks. Like when I am cooking dinner and husband comes into the kitchen and insists I move from doing my task so that he can get into a drawer I am standing in front of. I have learned to manage but I still feel pannicky!

[owenbrush]

What really stood out for me in this video was the editing - I was noticing how you tend to do soft transitions like fading or how when you use graphics they slide in from off screen rather then just popping into view. This detail, small as it is, really connected with me because I often make similar choices when designing some kind of user experience. I think it's actually a really good example of monotropism where these softer transitions give time and 'understanding' to the change that is occurring that a hard cut wouldn't.

[johnries]

Long before anyone thought I was autistic, I coined the term "mental tunnel vision to describe my mindset. But I enjoy free ranging one on one conversations with intelligent people; free ranging group discussions not so much.

[Miss_Elaine_]

I like to listen to podcasts while doing chores. Sometimes my kids will come in and start talking, maybe getting several sentences out before I can shift. "What?" "Did you not hear anything I just said?" -delivered with eyes rolling. "No." "Ok then..." They are used to it. Sometimes I'm just having a conversation with myself or working out a problem in my head, I'm not even listening to anything, and I still can't "hear" them. Sometimes shifting my focus is actually painful, but I try not to be annoyed with them.

[desperatefortuneproduction]

I'm 67 and have only recently begun to consider that I have autism traits, though I'm definitely neurodivergent. I'm always telling people I'm not keen on parties or large gatherings (clubs, loud crowded pubs, loud music etc) and my stock phrase is "I prefer one to one and small groups". I also prefer intimate conversation to 'banter' and tend to tune out if conversation is too shallow or too scattered in terms of content. I also often say 'I can only focus on one thing at a time!' I can't read or write effectively if there is music or rhythmic sound. If I do listen to music I like to have no distractions and to focus totally on the music. I'm able to spend a lot of time alone and in silence and can't understand the 'human' need for constant background music. I can't bear TV. All of which is just the tip of the iceberg!

[danjoy]

Monotropism is very difficult to deal with when you have to engage neurotypicals, but it is an absolute strength when it comes to focus. I can focus for hours, and go extremely deep.

[robertking]

I thought I was neurotypical for a minute but realized I can mask so well I can't see myself. If I did make it through your scenario without coming off as you describe then it took so much energy I'm ready to call it a day. I'm just becoming aware of my mental wiring and this video is helping put things in a better perspective, thanks for sharing and putting in the time to produce such high quality content.

[ecranmagique]

"The meeting I was expecting has been derailed"... a hypothetical example that's been happening often in my life!

[QuixoticAri]

Just listening to your scenario transitioning from the 1:1 to the friends joining in made me more and more anxious. I find those types of situations so distressing and it’s a relief to finally learn others struggle as well. It explains so much about my lived experience. Thank you.

[zoetaylor]

My understanding of Autism shifted profoundly the day I first learned about the theory of Monotropism. It genuinely felt like a eureka! moment. For the past couple of years, I've been learning everything I can about autism, ever since I suspected my children are autistic. They now each have a diagnosis. At first, learning about all the different aspects and experiences of Autism was so jumbled and disordered. I became really anxious that I would lose track and forget something important that I needed to know or recognise about my children, in case I misjudged a particular behaviour and reacted unfairly towards them. It was incredibly difficult to juggle so many of the autistic traits that I was learning about in my mind, and when I came across Monotropism, suddenly all these traits that had previously been floating around in my head suddenly had a file that they could all nearly slot into. It's as if the theory of Monotropism became my monotropic lens through which to view all the other traits I was struggling to keep hold of. That's not to say that my entire understanding of Autism is seen through the lens of Monotropism. But it's helped me to understand it with much more clarity than before.

[elevatorface]

Your hypothetical example on how Autistic monotropic minds react, and can be interpreted by others in an NT-centric social environment is exactly what I go through in social circles. Very insightful and eye-opening video. Thank you.

[zacharycadman]

Wow! Is so I've been diagnosed for ADHD and not autism, but there's things about me that don't quite fit with the ADHD diagnosis. This video blew my mind! It is so insanely relatable.

[linden]

I'm absolutely monotropic. When I'm thinking about something I'm deep in it and switching focus takes some time. It's very hard to imagine life without monotropism, I don't know if I ever really could.

I have a lot more time for autistic researchers' ideas about autistic life than those who just don't get it and somehow make that our problem to bear. It's more than a little frustrating to see someone have career, prestige and reputation built on some really silly ideas.

I enjoyed the Rainbow references too! 😄

[sarahjane]

Fantastic video. I shall be sharing this with my loved ones. Thank you.

Dr Wenn Lawson diagnosed me last year in my early 40's. He informed me about monotropism. He was the first individual to really *see* me after a lifetime of interactions with various 'professionals'. I finally understand myself.

[aplanebagel]

Thank you I finally have a better wording than " I'm like a train on a track with the whole weight of the cargo, I can't just stop and do something and get back to it, if I stop it all stops..."

Monotropism it is !

[lupen_rein]

Yes, it's such a real thing!

Group conversations are such a drag to me, the topics of discussion are always extremely superficial and constantly switching and I just can't have hundreds of superficial conversations in an hour.
I only do deep, intense and long conversations with one person and on one topic, preferably something I am interested in. There's a saying in German that encapsulates this well: "Ganz oder gar nicht!" Do it right or don't do it at all.
If you are constantly switching topics or constantly starting and ending conversations without any real focus on the thing, we won't get along at all. I will feel bored (because everything is so superficial) and I will feel left out (because it's too fast).

[slimebooger]

This was my exact problem in school, i'm trying to work out a problem or think about what the teacher just said, but evertime i look up from my paper the teacher is already teaching something new, i would always try to skip that part of the lesson and pay attention to the current lesson only for the teacher to already be on a new topic again, eventually i would just give up, i became numb to zeros cuz trying my best was still failing anyway

[captainjasperrr]

Omg, this was so illuminating 😂 Now I get why I am the way I am in 2+ social settings, and how people end up misunderstanding me so often.