AITA for yelling at my sister that my wedding is not her wedding.

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Story Name: AITA for yelling at my sister that my wedding is not her wedding.

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[AxelMacopelli]

Frankly, it was wrong of the mom to suggest OP let their sister help plan the wedding when they clearly have such different tastes. The "have your own wedding" comment was below the belt, but the sister was being awful. AH comment, but definitely NTA in general

[HibahAtif-ouhx]

NTA. It is your wedding not hers. She doesn’t get to decide what goes. Do what YOU want.

[sarahbenson]

Nope, sister can go pout and mom can help her get over the wedding that was not. OP’s wedding is that, for OP and OP’s partner.

[sarahknutson]

Your wedding is just that, YOUR wedding! Not her pity party

[Sienna]

NTA- OP’s sister is trying to live vicariously through OP. Also, no one would give a fu*k about the gay dudes. Sis is just mad that it’s not about her and that she can’t get the pity party that she wants. I think we can spot who mom’s favorite is

[aimistudios]

First your sister is homophobic for making those comments about your friend and his boyfriend
Second: your mom is clearly being enabler of your sister’s behaviour
Third: your sister needs therapy-which I’ll doubt she’ll get, so no contact would be best
NTA

[grim]

Okay sooo… older sister needs to live and let go. Mom was enabling her to almost take over the wedding like a parasite.
You had every right to be upset op, but the point now is to figure out if ur sisters truly hurt or trying to emotional manipulate you and ur mom.

[MamaWolf]

Uhh no kick your mom outta the party for enabling your sister and make sure neither of them can ruin it. Your sister needs help, not to be babied.

[cheyennemccoy]

I think you overreacted a little bit with the "plan your own wedding" comment, but you're still NTA since she's literally trying to change everything about your wedding by putting her feelings ahead of yours when it's supposed to be YOUR special day.

[mxxnsmelxdy]

Sometimes you can be the asshole and still be right. The comment is probably asshole-y but sister needed a wake up call that she's not the bride and needs to stay in her lane. One thing is giving suggestions and a whole different thing is complaining about everything and being homphobic on top of that.

[tamarasmith]

You can apologize for yelling, but also state you will not apologize for the words because what you said was true. Your sister is trying to force her opinions on your choices. Sister needs to shut up or not attend, & she also seems to still need therapy over her loss.

[lordybelance]

NTA. I feel bad for Kat, but her grief doesn't give her the excuse to dictate how you plan your wedding. I would've yelled at her too.

[sharonjones]

She do not have no right to tell you what you should do at your wedding. You should just say sorry for yelling, but it’s true. This is my wedding and don’t care if you’re mad or upset you will get over it.

[dulshadowxxx]

It’s been five years girl needs to get over it not fully of course but because it’s always horrible to lose your fiancé right before you get married but still it’s been five years honey at this point, it’s kind of pathetic you’re using it as an excuse

[rebekah.]

Helping plan someone's wedding means you help them plan the wedding THEY want, not help them plan the wedding YOU want. OP's comment was below the belt, but said after trying to shut down her sister pushing what SHE wanted for OP's wedding many times. Sister refused to listen. The mom never should have suggested sister help in the first place. It's been 5 years and she's still grieving her own loss. She wasn't in a good mental state to support OP. She probably hoped it would help for the sister to have something to focus on.

[gabriellaverdeja]

The OP saying that her wedding isn’t her sisters wedding isn’t wrong and the sister saying that the different color dresses is going to distract the guests because it is gay knowing that one of the OPS friends is gay and saying that two men walking down the aisle is weird and her saying that is just wrong. I mean I know that the sister lost her fiancé before their wedding but it’s been five years and she can’t just control the OPS wedding.

[dulshadowxxx]

We’re trying to be nice and let her help you plan even though you probably knew that something like this was gonna happen and even then you were still nice even when she said all those rude things about your wedding disagreed with almost everything that you liked and was very homophobic towards your best friend so I would’ve to because she was getting out of line and she would’ve just gotten mad if you would explained it to her nicely and would’ve started playing the victim and turned the family against you most likely

[liciewhiteley]

Seriously don't do different colors for bridesmaids.
My bro had brightly colored sorrees. So all the same style and brightness. Sil was in a Sorree as well but it was less stiff and a pale champagne. It almost looked like she floated. There was one maid who made all sorts of wishes. Sil let maid pick what she wanted. She was an eyesore. I folded her out of my pictures.
Keep the focus on the couple.
I feel sorry for the sister. Some people are not able to move past grieving for someone. But they need to let that be there problem

[TruthSlays]

YTA... SHE didn't ask to be involved your mom did and YOU chose to involve her, then you went on to criticize or ignore all her suggestions... if you think that yelling like a 5 year old and throwing tantrum is how you solve a conflict or problem I feel sorry for your fiancé... shame on you for bullying your older sister who is CLEARLY vulnerable and going through something...