Ep 031: How to Learn to Trust Yourself When You Have a Mother Wound

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“To trust oneself is the first step to truly living.” When we think about trust, we often focus on trusting others. However, one of the most important forms of trust is self-trust. Many of us struggle with self-trust, feeling uncertain about our decisions and abilities. This lack of trust often stems from our early relationships, particularly with our mothers. Growing up, seeking approval and guidance from our mothers is natural, but if this relationship is marked by control or criticism, it can leave us feeling incapable of making our own decisions.

Building self-trust starts with acknowledging our own strengths and capabilities. It involves making decisions, even small ones, and reflecting on their outcomes without excessive self-judgment. Each decision we make, successful or not, is an opportunity to learn and grow. Remember, self-trust is not an overnight transformation but a continuous journey. It takes self-compassion, practice, and consistent effort to build.

In this episode, I will explore the journey of learning to trust yourself and healing from the impact of a mother wound. I will break down why many of us struggle with trusting our own decisions and how this can deeply affect our lives.

Topics Covered:
(00:00:00) Episode Snippet
(00:01:53) Self-trust is the cornerstone of healing
(00:03:47) How a mother’s trust shapes her child
(00:05:09) The comfort zone trap
(00:08:01) How not trusting yourself leads to self-rejection
(00:10:20) Empower yourself through small decisions
(00:13:07) Overcoming childlike fears
(00:16:04) Aligning your actions with your words
(00:18:42) Take care of yourself first
(00:23:53) The impact of shame on self-trust

Key Takeaways:

“But why would you trust yourself if you have no track record of having a solid sense of integrity with yourself?"– Jennifer Arnise

“When you start to take care of yourself, yourself starts to take care of you and that builds self-trust."– Jennifer Arnise

“Healing your mother wound is about having autonomy and that is impossible without self-trust."– Jennifer Arnise

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

[Jenniferarnise]

Visit www.JenniferArnise.com Join my Mother Wound Group Course Starting August 13th

[tonii]

OMG I thought I had adult ADHD I was so indecisive and insecure and thought I couldn’t trust my own decisions. That was the insecurity instilled in me by my mother. I am relearning to trust myself and my own decisions again. Thank you 😊

[NaturallyNadine]

Let me tell you something.. I met your son while running errands in Sprouts. I was talking to the cashier about different podcasts and the way your son interjected and put me and sis on to you. I could tell that he was so proud! Job well done momma! So happy I have you to listen to now! Thank you 🙏🏾

[theevolvingmindset]

23:22 - YES!!! I struggled financially for so long. Currently, my finances are better than ever. I have an excellent credit score for the first time in my adult life and I'm 53 y/o. It took for me to move over 800 miles away to really start trusting myself and I'm so grateful I did because I'm a different person than I was when I left 5 years ago. The PEACE that I have is indescribable. It has taken a lot of work AND it has been worth it.

[AdinasAdvice]

Coming from a therapist, THIS IS SO Whether it’s being indecisive because it’s a learned behavior, or the mother not allowing autonomy when it comes to decision-making. Also, making certain choices based off of the mother’s approval, and sometimes the mother doesn’t even make the best choices. it is definitely a cycle that has to be broken by creating trust within yourself. This was a great episode!

[ItsWhittlove]

I feel like every episode speaks to me and my healing process. I did not realize how deep my mother wound was.

[jlj]

I just ran across this podcast yesterday!!! To be honest, I think it was the Lords doing!!! The information is so insightful!!!! Thank you for being so transparent!!!

[JudithMicheal-ydoy]

I'm glad you made this video, it reminds me of my transformation from a nobody to good home, $89k biweekly and a good daughter full of love

[DebbieMwema]

Omg. You are truly amazing. Self love has taught me this. It took sooo long to understand what it meant to reparent myself because i knew how to look functional, but i didn't trust myself.. pheww the shame I'd feel if i didn't even do a small thing right... Thank you for voicing this side of our struggle....one step at a time. I trust myself and trust the time given to me, coz my procrastination was also a result of me not trusting myself....🙏🏾

[TessaLarsen]

I’m a 32 white women with a mother that comes from an Irish background but your messages resonate with me and my mother-wound so much! always find myself listening to these and feelings so heard and understand! I hope it’s okay I’m here!

[theevolvingmindset]

1:30 Oh my! That is exactly how I felt before I started on my healing journey. As a matter of fact, my mother and former bff told me and my new husband (48 y/o me and my 54 y/o husband) at the time that they didn't think it was a good idea for us to move to FL from the DMV, without knowing any details. 🤦🏽‍♀ They had all kinds of negative sh*t to say. That was when I committed to doing what my heart was leading me to do instead of listening to them. We packed up and moved without telling them when, because they would've tried to stop me. it was the BEST DECISION I EVER MADE! That's when I learned to trust myself and God. Ok, let me finish listening....

[morgenniet]

I've been binge watching/listening your channel from the moment I came across one of your video's by accident... When I listen to you I feel heard, not alone anymore and you hit the nail on the head every time! You say what I have been feeling but not been able to voice out loud myself

[yamilee]

Timely!!! Key: 🔑 Do what you say you are going to do!

[JW-szyx]

I thank you for showing up for yourself. You are giving voice to feelings I've had and am having now and didn't know how to process. You're showing me how to truly care for myself from the inside out. I Thank you from the deepest recess of my heart. My inner child is crying with relief is the only way I can think to explain how I feel. When the student is ready the teacher will appear. Thank you thank you thank you. May you be blessed many times over.🙏🕉️🙌💞🖖

[meilei]

Leaving to get my own home for the first time in a few months. My mother talked me out of a lot of things when I was ready to leave at 18. Said it would be too hard and walked away or shut down the conversation when I would present something exciting I could do for myself.
I see it and accept it after many years of shadow work. But I feel the wavering still, especially as I’m preparing to take it all into my hands.
This mother wound stuff is the sustainable armor I’ve been needing. Thank you for enlightening us out here who can use the strength and wisdom.

[VashtiPerry]

21:54 this. 35 years old and only last week I fully acknowledged my perspective of people is so low that everyone needs saving because I felt like I needed saving no matter how well I was doing

[magdalaone]

The way I hopped off the couch & ran to the yoga class I was planning on skipping when you talked about integrity. I’ve sent this to several of my female cousins because we constantly struggle with these things. The shame around making a mistake!!! This is an amazing podcast

[sunshinesunflowerz]

My mother always wants to know what I'm doing but nothing ever goes right for me, when I do tell her. She gives me no privacy! I've actually heard my mother call me: weak. I can't rely on my extended family because theyre in her clutch.

I have no support in no capacity.

[Bodyworkbystar]

This podcast changed my life. So grateful to have found you.

[theevolvingmindset]

21:46 👏🏽👏🏽 YES. When I moved away and started doing the work, I definitely started looking at folks differently. As time went on, they really started showing their true colors. That's when I went even deeper in my healing journey.