DEPROGRAMING is essential to healing from narcissistic relationships

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[TonyTruthRx]

Still divorcing the narc but instead of looking for someone to love me, I think I should focus on loving myself.

[petergriffiinbirdistheword]

A psychiatrist once told me I needed to be deprogrammed immediately. This was two years ago and she kept me in the hospital for months. I thought she was kidding, but she wasn't and today... it scares me how brainwashed I had become after years of abuse. So much so, that medical staff recognized something was very off with me. It honestly breaks my heart the type of abuse I stayed around and endured but I am so thankful to have finally broken the cycle.

[sushmayen]

If you want to be kind and compassionate towards the narc give them your distance.

[jrhc]

I realized that even in line at the grocery store, I anxiously sought to move my items quickly to the conveyor belt so as not to inconvenience others. I was anxious all the time! An anxious extrovert. Now at the grocery store, I focus solely on picking up each item and placing it down, giving no thought to those behind me. The relaxation of my body is palpable. I gave so much of myself away for so many years!

[purpleocean]

DEPROGRAMMING 12:20
1. Delete the false beliefs they conditioned you with
2. Find supportive people
3. Somatic healing: connect to your body, heal it physically. Breathing, grounding, exercise
4. Take back your sovereignty : connect to and develop your own needs, wants, desires, goals, skills, identity, values

[IanM-idor]

My malignant narcissist father always said "The world is full of bastards and they're all out to get you". Had he said "Your family is full of bastards and they're all out to get you" he would have been telling the truth

[Bindy]

It’s like a devaluing childhood prepares you for the narcissist.

[dzanastrabuna]

This whole colour combination with the purple armchair, neutral background and the beautiful Dr Ramani in this orange shirt is soo soothing and warm!

[phillipearle]

You’re a lifesaver Dr. Ramani. Seriously. I still have nightmares 10 yrs after my last relationship, and tell myself in my sleep I’m no longer in that situation. I’m just beginning to figure out my likes and dislikes, find pleasure, and feel comfortable in my own skin. For years the world was colorless, I was despondent, hated life, and your videos were too triggering to watch. The eyes can’t see what the mind doesn’t know, and I didn’t know about narcissism until watching your videos. Thank you thank you thank you ❤

[mac-juot]

Dr Ramani u are the only women brave enough to call a 14 hour seminar " dumb ass" I admire and love you so much. You give this old lady hope ...u inspire me

[Alex-jslg]

I like the idea of conceptualizing narcissistic relationships as very small cults.

[andyandrade]

I’m the daughter of a narcissist father and just got discarded a year ago from a 7 year relationship, 4 year marriage to a narc. I still live in the fog. I have no idea if who I am other than work. So I currently have no energy to do anything else besides going to work and coming back home. I’m on 3 different medications and still struggling every minute of every day. My ex husband is engaged to his new supply: a woman 12 years younger, fitness influencer, just graduated from college. Meanwhile I live like a zombi just existing waiting for this existence to pass. This is how damaging these relationships are. I don’t know if I’ll ever recovery… so please be ware of the ppl you meet: they might kill you inside and leave you alive to a very painful existence.

[cheyenne]

I was literally thinking “our family is a mini cult” and she then went on to say it!

[thompsonlauren]

Ask them to do something for you. Something small. Something you would do for them with no hesitation. If they are narcissistic or otherwise toxic, it will ALWAYS go at least 1 of 4 ways (though sometimes these reactions may compound): They will act as though they didn’t hear you. Depending on how long you’ve been in the relationship, you may ask again. If it’s been long enough, you’re likely to drop the request right then and there.

They will promise to do it, but never follow through.
If you ask again or remind them, they will usually have some kind of excuse. In these cases, they will still never actually fulfill their promise. Their excuse is not a reason for lagging, it is the reason they should be absolved from all expectation whatsoever. Often this excuse will be meaningless or an outright lie.If you don’t buy their excuse, and tell them so, you will experience the wonderful segue into reaction.

An argument will ensue
The argument will be your fault. It could be a small back and forth contending against your request, or it might quickly devolve into them screaming at you. You never know which it will be. They might even say outright that you should never ask or expect anything from them. Usually they will express that you are asking too much, hurting them in some way (financially, emotionally, insulting them, etc), or attack your character.
The argument will only end when you relinquish your request + apologize, or start ignoring them completely. If you can ignore them long enough, they may apologize to you. However, the conflict will never feel truly resolved.
At this juncture they may actually end up giving you what you asked for. Often this does require you admitting that you don’t really need it, or that you would be fine with what they suggested instead. This leads us to reaction

They give you what you asked for, BUT

[djmadijohnson]

It's funny, while I was figuring out everything after my 18 year "relationship" ended I was watching documentaries on Jim Jones, Nxsm and R Kelly. I could see the similarities in a cult and my relationship with my ex. This video is validation. I've been seven year no contact with my ex girlfriend and I still have nightmares about her.

[Koloranima]

My parents wanted me to became everything but they didn’t give me anything. Plus, they also constantly sabotaged what I did. And they did it vaguely, and they were very difficult to spot. I’m so happy to be able to get out of that. My life was very sad, I had also many narcissistic traits, I realised and changed my bad behaviours. I’m still trying to improve myself. Evaluating values are important. I learned it from your videos this summer. I realised that my parents don’t really have values. They are still trying to save themselves and they are always in survival mood. I’m creating my own values now. I used to want to be friends with interesting people. Now I want to be friends with good, authentic people.

[AngelaBeers]

feels so good when people umderstand that we couldnt fight back
its been years and i still struggle to trust but my life blossomed after i escaped

[noelle]

So true. I was born and raised into a cult. I left at almost 19 years old. My parents are both narcs. I dated 2 narcs ( 1 I met while in the cult). I married one of them. i was single for several years after my divorce and didn't date. I discovered more about narc and saved up all I could to move out of my grandpa's house where my narc mother was living and moved out after several years. I managed to get my drivers license and cars despite my narc mom sabotaging me multiple times along the way I moved out and was fully independant, 2 weeks later met my now husband. I cut my narc mother and immediate family several months later. I've been the happiest overall I have ever been. Despite having to unpack a lot of trauma and dealing with cptsd and ptsd. I feel like I finallyy life just started, I get to have hobbies & discover who I am

[johnpaulsawan]

My parents did this to us. I didn't have a sense of self and still don't sometimes.They isolate you and try to tell you no one else can understand you. They preyed on my disability and wouldn't let me study in school or would try to get me to quit jobs. Their behavior is criminal and they murdered two souls. I'm considering seeking justice.

[timwhiston]

❤ Dr Ramani nailed it, knocked it out the park ! I'm recovering I find it so hard to trust new people - the red flags are everywhere . Day at a time people, ❤