Tsundere Picks Anon up at a Coffee Shop 4Chan Greentext Story

Anon likes to rp as inanimate objects| 4chan greentext stories

I started a discord, send me your favorite 4chan posts!

#4chan #greentext #4chanstory

[jpiny]

I feel so bad for the straw. He got kidnaped abused and tossed on the bushes to rot there for thousands of years 😢

[arealstone]

He really had me in the first 9/10ths ngl

[nghtbot]

">literally unable to move"
Oh he meant literally

[princeimrahil]

I like how this accidentally revealed how no one actually watches the video before talking about how the story is fake lol

[popdg]

"Literally unable to move" Hits different after the plot twist

[NS-]

This is poetry, this is a true literary work that criticizes how long it takes for plastic to decompose

[skyguy]

this was genius i'm not gonna lie

[baronkarza]

I hate/love the fact that this not a lie
just a really clever joke

[kmac]

I was debating whether to leave a "Try not to lie" comment or "If a man did this the title would say 'kidnap' and not 'pick up'" comment when that ending twist hit me like a truck

Well played anon, well played

[capncake]

That was a good one.
I actually thought it was a bit odd that he “dumped the fluids” so early on, then it somehow continued for several minutes, but just dismissed it.

[jjgg]

Japan should hire this man as an anime writter with this piece of fiction as a resume

[imoutoconnoisseur]

57 seconds was too long for some of these people's attention span, i see

[sparking]

was about to say anon had to get back to his meds, but it was just an allegory

[gara]

"literally unable to move" I fing love this lmso

[AdmiralStoicRum]

This is a proper green text, I love it cuz the ending is unexpected and absurd love it

[sock]

sequal to this would be ending up in ocean and finding a comforting sea turtle wife

[minimeatball]

next thing know youre stuck to or eaten by a turtle

[bisco]

I thought anon was just capping but this is true.

[staremperor]

One of the very few real and true stories in 4Chan

[Bangaudaala]

Wow, I was so ready for a "typical didnt happen on 4chan"