Will You Marry a Couple Already Living Together?

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Ask Pastor John
Episode: 365
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“But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
‭‭I Corinthians‬ ‭7:8-9‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

lethalbezzle
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We had a child and lived together for 4 years before marriage. We were abstinent with each other before our matrimony, which was performed by our pastor, but neither of us moved out. We had been abstinent so long that we didn't even have sex on our marriage night. It took time for us to come together in that way. We were also baptised the day before marriage. We'll be married 10 years next September. Please, do things the right way, God's way, not man's way. It will serve you so much more! You will live through far less heartache.

ashjade
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I was homeless for many months after being kicked out of my family home, I was living on friends sofas. Thankfully God lead me to an amazing Christian women who has helped me out of that hole I was in. We live together now (remaining abstinent) both supporting each other financially (we couldn’t afford rent in London separately) We want to get married in the near future. But people in these comments make it sound like living together in general is a sin, I can’t find any scripture to back that up. Some people just assume if you’re living together you’re having pre marital sex

frayfog
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Just go to the courthouse, sign the paperwork, and you are married.

jvolstad
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This is a good example of how each person does something different in how they handle sin and look at it. Saying that you won't marry a couple for those reasons is unique to him it's not sinful if we dont go about it this way. The only issue I have is the if I have a child we live together. Circumstances are crucial a lot of parents like that simply have no choice or are backed into a corner. If they are truly committed I think they would find ways to still honor God like sleeping separate rooms and such not having sex. I dont think you can just say no to them if they cannot separate that way because it may be virtually impossible or dangerous for the persons. I'd marry them so they can live together and love each other and lust for one another without worrying about sinning. I'd do that for any couple just because I dont want them to keep living in that sexual sin. I'm not a pastor or priest though and my opinion may change. I'd obviously tell them to repent of their sins and walk in love together as one in the name of Christ. But I would still marry them. Because they CAN just go to another place so i want them to at least u understand that this alone won't delete your sin they must repent to The Lord and to each other as well since they caused each other to sin and abuses their feelings of love for each other.

JesusRodriguez-guwv
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What about if the Christian heterosexual couple is living together, but not being sexually intimate, would this be serious enough to not attend their wedding?

Drie
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I disagree with Piper on this. If you are living in sin because you are having sexual relationships with your boyfriend/girlfriend, you produce fruits worthy of repentance by getting married. Nowhere does the Bible say that you need to be sinless in order to get married.

seaweedseaside
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Discipline? Can someone please explain. My wife and I belong to a Baptist church (15 yrs) and even though I have a guess what the discipline might be I'm too unsure of it.

metalbent
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Before my wife and I married we moved in together for financial reasons. We did not have sex before marriage even while living together.

ShepherdMinistry
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Is the gospel about right living or right believing?...if right living, then one is under the law, and Christ is the end of the law.

brendonburdett
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when you look at the statement....people who practice adultery, will not inherit the kingdom, of does that say, to you....

philipbuckley
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i lived with my now wife for 2 years we did have sex at first as i wasnt a christian and she was backsliden and i became a christian and while early in my walk i moved in with her as we had a child but we stopped having sex as we were both convicted but we still lived together for 2 years without having sex? just because christian couple live together dosnt mean they are having sex? what would you say on this?

Marcus-eckx
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I married a woman when i was 18 she lft me for another man i divorced her she fornicated I then married another woman we had 3 kids together then 12 years later i was not faithful to her i fornicated. I divorced her Then i married another woman we both had kids she was divorced also after 14 years i wasn't faithful to her she divorced me. Now i been living with a woman for 15 years she is divorced after her husband cheated on her we have a 12 year child after reading the bible i think it says i shouldn't marry again because god wouldn't accept it . How could i ever be able to have the love of god on me again . I have been so wicked in my life i was baptized in my 20's in my second marriage I'm not sure i fully understood then how to be a good Christian because as i have stated i am a sinner a fornicater since then. Is there any way i can make to heaven. What about my son born out of wedlock have i sealed his fate. And his mother i been living with all these years. The only way to stop sinning is to leave her ? if i married her would i still be sinning daily because of it ? I'm 60 now and really trying to read the bible and learn and in doing so it's making me think i may have done to much and god left me some of it is plane to read but most i dont understand trully what it says I'm in the old testament and know gods laws can't be changed very mixed up for sure sorry for how long this is .

rickyoung
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I respect Pastor John but I don’t understand why you would not marry a heterosexual couple living together if for no other reason than to get them out of living in sin. It is not our job to convict people of sin. That is the Holy Spirit’s job. It is our job to love people. By not marrying them, you are contributing to the continuation of that sinful lifestyle. I say love them, pray for them, and let God do the convicting. He’s the only one who can change hearts.

pamharris
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Best friends with benefits? Common law marriage? I know times are tough all over but geeezz.

pattydavis
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I hope the answer is yes, but if it isn't well, the couple can go elsewhere.

joshuaokoro-sokoh
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Sexual relations outside of marriage is sin. What is sin?

jvolstad
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No ones perfect.
Swap the words “living together” with say, “someone who swears”, it would seem like a stupid question.

ihmcfly
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I agree that living together before marriage is sin. However, if a couple is unrepentant and continue to live in this sinful condition, is this a sin that would exclude them from the kingdom, or is it a sin that only has temporal consequences? No one seems to be able or willing to answer this question.

daddyguerrero
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your own words will judge you...repent, and show the fruits of that move out....hmmm....wonder how that could be applied to divorce and but that is

philipbuckley