Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person

You'll try not to of course - but you will, unwittingly. At least there is comfort in knowing you're not alone.

FURTHER READING

“Anyone we might marry could, of course, be a little bit wrong for us. We don’t expect bliss every day. We know that perfection is not on the cards. Nevertheless, there are couples who display such deep-seated incompatibility, such heightened rage and disappointment, that we have to conclude that something else is at play beyond the normal scratchiness: they appear to have married the wrong person...”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Mad Adam

[luishsteuer]

you will marry the wrong person because there is no such thing as the "right" person. no one is perfect. the strong person realises this and lives with this fact close to their hearts such that it can never bring them grief, anguish or pain. the right person is whomever you deem worthy of being with you on this journey through life.

[soupflood]

If you're mostly sad when you are single, you'll be worse when you will marry.

[cs]

Not every couple is perfect for each other, yet there are imperfect couples that exist and probably thrive. Why? People are not jigsaw puzzles that there is only one perfect fit or else the picture won't work. We grow and we change, What's 'wrong' today can be 'right' tomorrow. Our flaws and tendencies that might not work with other people today aren't permanent, we can outgrow them.

[hindahabiba]

Being single is amazing. No emotional pressure, no wild assumptions or expectations. No one to disappoint and no one disappointed at.

[MiraSumanti]

I stumbled upon this video 2 years ago when I was depressed from having a cancelled wedding (5 weeks before the actual day). This video literally broke me into tears realizing how, had I gone forward, I too would marry for the wrong reasons. 2 years later, this video is still very very dear to my heart. In hindsight what happened was truly for the best and School of Life content has been instrumental in my monumental break up recovery! So I seriously can't thank you enough!!

[TheiLame]

It's easier to be alone when you have always been alone. It gets harder when you have it something to compare to.

[bolivar]

"Too many people get hurt".
How very true...
There is a proverb which says: " When you get married you share all your worries and troubles with each other: all those troubles which you indeed wouldn't have, if you hadn't got married." Frankly, I never thought of stepping into that hell, but I confess that there is something which really touches me deeply when I see people getting married.. And that is " hope". I admire them for their hope. Where does it come from really? Your entire life long being surrounded by a distorted mirror ( your partner) which will show you basically as "somebody else", is quite a decision really... No more silence, no more peace, no way to be so free, child-like  and authentic as you were, before you signed into that contract of daily, trivial life management.
I am sure, though very few, there are people who are happily married. But for most people it is the lack of self knowledge and the fear of loneliness which drives them to dig their own graves in the middle of their lives.
 ( So indeed this is a life saving lesson!  Thank you!)

[Timrath]

"We don't want happiness; we want what we're used to."
One of the wisest sentences I have heard on youtube.

[SeanTheDon]

"We Don't Talk To Married Couples, and We Steer very Clear of Divorced ones" My Favorite Quote from Here

[Steezboy]

I likes these videos, but they leave out a lot of the brighter perspective. Just cause this guy is saying this a soft voice doesnt mean hes 100% right

[whardyphotography]

Maybe instead of "you have married the wrong person" we should be talking more about "how to prosper with who you are with". People need to realise that relationships & marriage are not made of romantic butterflies, they are built. And they are being constantly built, a relationship is only worth being in if you understand you have to work for it.

[cs]

Gotta say the comments I'm finding on this channels videos are enlightening. People bring up interesting points rather than pointless bickering. Very refreshing.

[MrEricgal]

I married when I was 17, 43 years ago. What folk seem to forget is that love cannot remain as merely an emotion, it must become a commitment and an act of the will. You certainly need an act of the will when your beloved seems to be a prat! And it helps to remember how often you've been a prat too.... Surely philosophers of all people should know this!

[hiramlofton]

My first marriage was a two year disaster. My second has been a 34 year work of art. Physically, sexually, intellectually and most of all
a sense of humor a mile long keeps us still loving and laughing. Nothing is perfect, but this is close.

[mayaportland]

I too ask myself how is it possible to we learn in school all kind of useless crap that we never need later on but no one teaches us to be good parents and good spouses. No wonder the world is full of divorces and traumatized children.

[knap-dalf]

I have never found a channel that understands me so much. That's what we want, someone to understand us. I will marry this channel.

[GLTDubstep]

I wonder how many relationships ended because of this video..

[JoCar]

I am I the only one that does not view this a "sad" or "depressive".. I see an opinion from someone that has view life and have come up with their deduction. For the most, I find it all too interesting.

[googlesuckscock]

We may not understand ourselves, but it's refreshing to have a partner with you to help. I find that I grow with my partner as we both understand each other and ourselves better :)

[aaroncamilo]

Although this may apply to many people, this is not inevitable. Many people watch this video and they indentify themselves, destroying their hopes. But it doesn't have to be this way. First, you must learn to love and accept yourself, and not only that, but also understand that you don't need to be with someone else, that you can be autosufficient, and indepenent. Only then, you can learn more about yourself, what you like and what you don't. Love is not about changing yourself nor your partner, it's about accepting and loving those differences. Remember: marriage/relationships are not a necessity, they are a luxury. Find someone that loves you and accepts for what you are, not for what you have. Find someone who you can love and accept for what they are, not for what they have. May love be our religion, and humanity our race. You, with all your imperfections, can be perfect to the right person. I sincerely hope you you can find love someday. Life's too short to be sad and depressed <3