Resentment: A Critical Step in Healing from Trauma?

Resentment can be a toxic emotion that hurts a client’s ability to connect with others and develop meaningful relationships.

But are there times when it can be considered “healthy?”

Well, in the video below, Thema Bryant, PhD shares how resentment sometimes can be an important step for clients healing from trauma.

She also walks us through how we can avoid pushing clients deeper into resentment.

NICABM - Better Outcomes. More Quickly.

[lunkerjunkie]

"it is not only that I lost, but the fact that no one is willing to acknowledge it."

[IsabelleMN]

I love this perspective, because you're reframing resentment not as a bad emotion to be dismissed, but as a sign that this person has recognized that what happened to them was not ok, and they will do whatever it takes to protect themselves now. So the care is no longer about fighting the resentment, but acknowledging their pain and giving them compassionate tools to process the trauma then set blossoming boundaries

[sobrevida]

". . . one of the challenges is that the people you interact with usually don't have a lot of grace for a resentful person." What a lovely line! Thanks!

[hshfyugaewfjkKS]

I love the reframe in this video. I also heard that resentment is what we feel towards other people who are able to have quote-unquote a normal life, normal relationships and self-esteem. That rang pretty true for me.

[stellasole]

I needed my time with resentment. It protected me AND was an important part of my healing & putting the responsibility where it belonged instead of carrying it.

[LinYouToo]

What you said at the very end of your video is like an epiphany. Things get locked deeply into our programming and it’s hard to program sometimes. For some of us who grew up in unstable home environments we were always on the lookout. And as adults we could be hypervigilant. Sometimes a certain facial expression all by itself can cause some of us to be triggered. This has been a challenge for me through my healing journey. This is my first video of yours that I’ve watched. It popped up in my feed today. I’m glad I found you and can’t wait to listen and learn more.

[Vidacali]

I feel like he was very well aware of the trauma he was causing because he forbid me from having friends in fear that they would change my thinking of our relationship. I feel resentment towards him and I feel like it’s healing because I’m able to take the focus off of him and now focus on myself.

[ABB-]

This was so good, you put words to how I feel and now I finally understand self. I was trying to push down resentment cause I don't want to become bitter but now I can just let it past through. I'm a begrudged person, I'm just someone passing through this necessary state to come on the other side to heal and forgive.

[chrissforza]

This video helps me to explain exactly the feelings I have been trying to understand within myself pertaining to the inexplicably cruel and dismissive treatment I received from a close family member which were repeatedly witnessed and ignored by the rest of my family. They seemed like strangers and I was shattered by this experience and blamed myself somehow for deserving it. I felt unloved and invisible by the people I love most in the world.

[Gilren]

I'm 54 and I just start to feel resentment, I forbid it to myself all my life and thought of what was wrong with me ... I can feel some relieve now... .

[abbagoziemsylvia]

This woman just said it as it really feels. Sometimes resentful people are really hurt. Don't take it on their attitude, help them feel better.

[peacefralljjj]

I want this woman in my life! Her words went straight to my heart. She. Gets. It.

[kathrinareyes]

You are very compassionate. I will refer to your video when I need to mirror compassion to myself when I am being resentful and start to shame myself. Once again thankyou.

[stefaniamirri]

Yes and resentment goes often confused with borderline over reactivenes

[elspethfougere]

Incredible. What a gift. Thank you so much.

[Lauren-roye]

What an intelligent, compassionate person

[dubsax]

This understanding you have shared is life changing for me!
Thank you.

[tnijoo]

Wow. Wow. Wow. This is so wise. Thank you.

[Tatianastarflower]

Im going through this stage right now, i used to think that it was all my fault but now I have a lot of anger and bitterness and resentment which is also very painful but it does feel strangely healthy but i know i need to move through it

[TiaraHelen]

Interesting, thank you. What is your thinking around describing it as resentment rather than plain old anger?