Dos and Don'ts of Interacting with the Deaf Community [CC]

Hi everyone! New viewers please note that this video is over 4 years old from when I was a teenager, much is still accurate, but many of my views especially related to topics at the end have changed.

This video is about the dos and don'ts of getting involved in the Deaf community, mostly for ASL students, future interpreters, and new signers. I have a lot of pet peeves and things to say about this, but I tried to narrow it down to some of the most significant things I've noticed in the Deaf community. Hope you enjoy this video and maybe learn something!

In regards to SimCom: personally as a deaf person, I became more comfortable simcomming after 2 years dating hearing, but still prefer ASL for accessibility sake. Deaf and hard of hearing people can adapt and do whatever they prefer in terms of communication and accessibility. For people looking to learn or get involved, I encourage you to learn ASL first, as many deaf people do not understand English.

DISCLAIMER: I am sharing MY personal experiences as a deaf individual. I aim to be as welcoming as possible, but my point of view does not represent the opinions of everyone in the deaf community. My content reflects my personal opinions, please remember everyone's experiences are diverse.

Transcript:

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Shirt: LGBTQIA+ ASL with the sign for queer

[SethAndrew]

"Oh, you're deaf? That sucks."

I once got a good laugh out of a deaf kid in school by telling him that he's the lucky one for not being able to hear our teacher's incessant nagging, and he busted out laughing in the middle of class

He still talks about it years later saying it made him feel good, and it was apparently the first time someone didn't treat him like he's disabled...

[thejessica-est]

I used to do taxes, had a deaf couple as clients. I was working on their 1040, singing Lisa Loeb's "Stay" as I worked. The husbanded passes me a note that says "I never said you don't belong, we're not leaving and you didn't do anything wrong". I was completely perplexed and he was looking at me with concern. Then he started laughing and passed another note saying "We read lips, are you singing to yourself?". 😂 That's when I was introduced to ASL. They taught me a lot of simple introductory signs and encouraged me to learn more. I'm by no means fluent, but I've got my manners down and can ask and understand basic questions.
TLDR: A deaf man's wicked sense of humor got me to learn some ASL.

[Avbitten]

I'm autistic and I'm learning to sign merely because its easier than using my voice.

[doylekennedyusaf]

My wife Dawn was born deaf. I am hearing. I had just got out of the Air Force when I met Dawn. I didn’t know any ASL at that time. When Beverly introduced me to Dawn she immediately caught my eye. She was so beautiful like an angel. I learned ASL. In March we will be married 30 years. I interpret for the deaf at church now. It’s not always an easy journey and many obstacles. We go out to eat with other folks and none of them know sign. So I’m constantly interpreting between her and everyone at the table. It’s hard to finish my meal sometimes. I had to learn to stay focused on her, she loves to communicate and us men naturally are not good communicators. So it makes it even harder when your wife is deaf. I love Dawn and I will be with her my entire life.

[lizettepecina]

They really should teach ASL in schools. Make it a requisite to graduate just like you have to take a foreign language class.

[dannystudent]

it’s so interesting that since I can hear people speak, I can also sort of “hear” the words she’s signing, like my brain has selected a generic voice that this girl has and when I focus I can hear when she mouths the words. like how people who can hear kind of “hear” their thoughts or when you read. anyway, loved this video, so happy I found this channel !

[katagirl]

I learned to sign in college waaaay back in the day. My deaf friends always did simcom with me, so I didn't know that wasn't normal. Since then, I've taught my three kids basic signing as babies (which is different because simcom with hearing babies is standard), and it made it so that I could communicate with them at 6 months. It's amazing because they hardly cried when they needed something. They'd just sign. My oldest is 11 and still signs till this day :)

[deenibeeniable]

Hi Chrissy.
My mom was born in 1922. She lost her hearing at age 18 because of a mastoid infection -- there were no antibiotics then, so they simply removed all the infected parts & hoped for the best. She was completely deaf in one ear and profoundly so in the other. She wore a hearing aid. She told me a story about how she was riding the subway on a very hot day & these huge D-cell battery packs for her hearing aid, which were strapped to her thighs, were shorting out because of sweat. She went to NY School for the Deaf, and at that time there was only one option: lip reading ('oralist" tradition). Children who went there wanted to sign naturally but were prevented from doing so by having their hands tied behind their backs. They had to learn to be "invisible" in a hearing world. I told this story to an ASL interpreter once. After listening to the story the interpreter said, Your mom was a hearing person who couldn't hear. That really struck me.

I actually tried learning the language & tried to get my mom to, but that was when she was in her 60s & she just didn't want to.

She worked, as many deaf people did then, as a seamstress. In fact you probably already know that the sign for the word "how" comes from "the boss" asking "how are you doing?" which meant "show me your seams." But seamstress is a nice word for "worked in a sweatshop."

She did manage to finally get her drivers license. For all their marriage my dad wouldn't let her drive; he just couldn't believe she could do it. After he died she got a deaf instructor & got her license, & her face on that picture is the happiest you have ever seen on any person ever; I kept it after she died.

Anyway Chrissy when I see you it makes my heart ache, it is kind of bittersweet. How happy I am that the deaf community is what it is today, and how sad it makes me that my mom had to endure so much.

Anyway. Thank you for this video.

[yoseph]

I'm here to learn sign language because i'm in love with deaf girl 😥❤

[graysonrogers-barnes]

I have ADHD and could normally not focus on a video with no sound, but your energy just held me here the whole time.

[LoveLee_Dreamer]

If someone says they're sorry you're deaf and it sucks, turn it back at them. "Oh? I was going to say I'm sorry you have to hear everything all the time! That sounds absolutely horrible!"

[crayonsmmmm]

A transcript without time signatures to put into a text to speech thing if you want :)

Hi everyone!

Welcome back to The Essential Sign, I'm Chrissy!

Today what we are going to do is discuss the Dos and Don'ts of socializing with the Deaf community.

*Hearing aid ringing*

This video is mostly for new signers and ASL students.

I have a lot to say and I have a list, so I will go ahead and start.

First, we are a community and culture, we don't want your pity.

So don't say,

"I'm sorry you are Deaf, that sucks"

I hate that.

Do Show your motivation to become involved and share your reasons why.

Don't isolate yourself because your intimidated or whatever,

really the best way to get involved and pick up signs is to fully imerge yourself in the community.

But I encourage you to learn basic conversation and some signs before you try that.

Do Be honest about your situation, your background, and experience with ASL.

Hi! I'm new, I'm learning ASL and taking ASL .

I'm learning ASL online.

Hi! I'm I'm taking ASL in college, studying to become an ASL interpreter.

Do Try and stay voice off and try not to simcom.

Simcom is speaking and signing at the same time.

It doesn't work.

Don't Try and teach ASL if you are only a student.

You aren't qualified and you will lose respect from the community,

Especially online.

Do Respect eachother and listen to the Deaf communities opinions on rights and advocacy,

that kind of thing. Just listen.

Don't Show up and try and impede on our conversations. It's rude.

And don't try to translate or interpret, unless if we ask for help.

Only if asked.

If you impede on our conversations you are limiting our abilities.

It's rude and-

It's a thing I hate.

If you are an ASL student, know your teachers name!

Simple right.

There are two reasons why.

) It's ridiculous not to know.

) Some people in the community know the teachers, so they will probably ask you who your teacher is.

You probably want to know it.

Don't Beg for a sign name.

If we think of some thing that fits we will let you know,

But we won't if we don't know you, who you are good enough.

Do If you want to learn and improve your signing, ask simple little questions.

Thats fine.

So I was walking around with a friend and looking around we saw a umm-

Hey whats the sign for b-i-r-d?

So I was walking with my friend and we saw a bird. It was cool.

Are you Deaf, Hard of hearing, or hearing?

Don't Use socializing with Deaf friends like a second class.

It's not our job to teach you and sometimes we will help you,

but theres a line.

Do Be flexible and patient. There needs to be good lighting and eye contact is important.

Don't Pretend to understand if you don't understand.

I will notice if you are clueless.

I see you.

Do Understand the community is diverse. Some people sign ASL, some PSE, some SEE.

It varies, every individual is different.

Just depends on the person.

Don't Assume we can lip read and never force or pressure a Deaf person to voice or speak.

Thats terrible.

Just don't.

Don't do it.

Do Understand the Deaf community has face years and years of oppression.

Going back the community has so much culture.

And you need to recognize you have hearing privilege.

Recognize and accept your hearing privilege.

Don't Be upset or angry if someone doesn't like you.

There is some bias in the community and it happens. Thats reality.

It happens. Sometimes people just don't like you.

It doesn't matter. Move on!

I think thats it for today! Hope you learned something and enjoyed the video!

Comment if you want to share anything about the topic. Thanks for watching!

Bye!

[WhimsicalTea]

Most of this is just being a nice and respectful human

[alexysautumnelf]

DON'T eavesdrop and then say, "Oh, I was just watching, sorry."

[lalvarado]

Something about watching people use ASL is so beautiful. I can't wait to more fluent in ASL so I don't need the captions to understand what's going on!

[youramericanfriend]

My daughter was born deaf but has used a CI most of her life. Her first experience learning ASL was only recently at a community college. I wish she’d had a kind teacher (like I did) because she was SO EXCITED to learn (and seemed naturally good at it)! By the end of the class though, my daughter admitted that she was disappointed with the teacher’s attitude toward her so she gave up interest and just relied on lip reading. I hope one day she’ll meet someone as friendly as you and be interested in learning ASL again.

[chronicallycarly]

I’m sending this to my ASL Professor! Since he’s Deaf himself, he always tries to teach us about common courtesy when interacting with the Deaf Community, so this video touches on a lot of the same points he makes.

[ekotoxic]

"A Silent Voice" has peaked my interest in learning ASL and JSL. I plan to one day become fluent enough to have decent conversation with others.

[kinoko]

I recently found out I have a speech processing issue which can really impede my social interactions sometimes, so I’ve been interested in learning more about the deaf community and different ways you are able to communicate. Thank you for this video, it was very helpful!

[gondolla]

A friend and I are learning ASL together. He was joking around and said "Hey how did you do on that final exam?" Then held up the OK sign while smiling/wincing. We couldn't stop giggling and the others in the room were very confused.