Improve your Writing: Show, Not Tell

Become a better writer, no matter what you're writing! I'll show you how to take simple, boring sentences and turn them to vibrant, expressive writing. As you practice this technique in your writing, you will find it carries over to your everyday spoken English as well. Before you know it, you'll be a more dynamic, compelling speaker and writer.

To improve your creative writing, and to learn why it's important, watch this video next:

TRANSCRIPT

Welcome back to engVid. Here we are with a writing lesson. We are looking at the skill of showing, not telling, and it's going to transform your writing as long as you put it into practice afterwards. "Show, not tell. What's he talking about?"

When we're writing we want to avoid simple statements that don't really add any description or flavour. For example: "The man was stressed." [Snores] Boring. Instead, I want you to paint a picture, I really want you to describe the man is stressed without telling me that he is. So how can you do that? We're kind of trying to avoid this word, and describe it instead. So what's he doing? "The man was fidgeting. Ah, he's fidgeting. He's so stressed, he can't sort of stay still. And biting his nails." Okay? So pick out a couple of details that show how the person was.

Next one: "The room was messy." Again, it's a simple, simple sentence. It's just one sort of main clause and it's not very interesting. Much better to describe the items in the room that make it messy. For example: "There was a leftover pizza, dirty clothes were strewn"... I'll write that word for you. That means they were covering the floor. "...and there were dirty plates and cups". Okay? These details give us the idea that it is messy.

Example three: "The woman was confident." Okay, but it would be much more effective if you described how she was confident. So, how does she move? How do other people react to her? "She strode", that means she walked, but with purpose. Okay? So I've picked an interesting verb. "She strode into the room, and everyone turned their heads to notice her." Okay? Much clearer, more vivid idea of confidence than just saying she was confident.

Example four: "The boy was careful." Tell us how he was careful. "He placed his favourite magazine in the top drawer of his cabinet." Okay? So we need to say exactly what he is placing, the object there has been missed out. "He placed"... There's no room for me to write it. You get the idea, he places his favourite book or magazine, and look how specific it is: "the top drawer of his cabinet".

Next example: "The stadium was full." Again, I'm bored with this simple sentence construction. We need to make it more interesting. "The sound from the stadium was deafening", okay? And then give us some main action perhaps: "The sound from the stadium was deafening as the crowd rose up to chant the player's name." Okay? Give the sense that the stadium is full from what you can see and what you can hear. Okay?

A couple of ones to describe weather. "It was hot." Okay? Well, a very young child could write a sentence like that, so if you're sort of a teenager or an adult, it's time to raise the bar. How can we tell that it is hot? Well: "The sun was causing damage to", "The sun was melting", "The sun was burning", "The sun was causing the lady's skin to turn red". Okay? Pick out details that show the effect.

"It was cold. It was cold." How do we know it was cold? How cold did it feel? What can you see? "Drainpipes were freezing, ice was as thick as"... I don't know. "It was three inches thick." Whatever, you've got to show details rather than just stating things. -"It was windy." -"The umbrella was totally bent out of shape. The umbrella"-you know for keeping the rain off us-"was totally"-that means fully-"bent"-Yeah? Bent-"...out of shape", out of its normal position.

"He found it funny." Right? How funny did he find it? Okay? Better to... For us to get the idea to picture what he was doing: "He was rolling around the floor in hysterics." Okay? When you're so... Find something so funny, you're like: [Laughs]. Okay? He can't control his body he finds it so funny. "Hysterics", that means like totally lost control. "Hysteria". Okay? Hysterics. "In hysterics" means finding something really, really funny.

"The castle was captured." Right. I want to get a sense of drama. I want to imagine what's happening there at the castle. Is the king having his head cut off? Are the new army marching in? What's happening? "The new flag was hoisted up on high, greeted by a cheer from the crowd." Okay? Paint pictures, pick out details.

[applecore]

I needed this.
Sorry, I mean...
My writing droned and bluntly stated scenarios without detail.

[cold_static]

"Show, Don't Tell" is basically the "Tell me X, without telling me X" meme format applied to writing.

[davidbailey]

Good video! I have something to add which I learned from my writing classes. Many of your "showing" sentences used the to-bes "was" or "were". These words in and of themselves can lead to passive and even telling writing--not to mention verbose writing, meaning using more words than necessary to describe or say something. Outside of thoughts and dialogue (people do talk that way after all), to-be's (am, are, is, was, were, be, being, been) should usually be eliminated.

Example 1-"The man was fidgeting and biting his nails." could be written as "The man fidgeted and bit his nails." This eliminates a bit of verbose making the sentence more active and crisp.

Example 2-"There was a leftover pizza, dirty clothes..." could be written in a more active way by writing it as "A leftover pizza and dirty clothes lay strewn about the floor."

Hope this helps other writers out there. Thanks for reading!

[xtonibx]

I practice this often.

I write the vague sentences and then I describe them in more detail

"It was hot"

no.

"Children complained in the car as the blazing sun fused their skin to leather seats."

It's really fun and helps me catch vague sentences before I write them.

[inkwyvern]

Do neither. Don't merely show description. Burn this into your brain: learn how to lie.

Showing _is_ telling. (Not really, but stay with me) They both translate in a nutshell: to reveal. Don't tell or show. Instead, suggest and allude.

It doesn't stimulate the mind to be told and shown. *Implicit prose makes readers write the story for you.* Practice writing this way to rewire your brain. I'll demonstrate:

Russet leaves eddied around the hurried steps of little red riding hood. From the gloom of the crooked wood came a howl that clutched her throat. Her pace quickened, her breath in debt, when a great shadow loomed along the path from behind to swallow her in darkness. She spun with a billowed cloak like the wide-eyed owls that hooted overhead.

The wood stilled.

Her cry echoed home to the woodsman's cabin and prickled the nape of his neck. It carried cold along autumn streams and dark in the old burrow downs. Small birds scattered. Rabbits shied into dens. Then it whimpered through Grandma's window, who seized the scruff of her collar and gazed out into the murky unknown.

Apples lay strewn and glistened bloody.

The woodsman's axe was missing from the stump, and he was nowhere to be found.

Grandma's garden gate creaked on the wind, her front door ajar.


Lead readers on; the hook is in _not_ knowing, not _knowing._ *Make what you **_don't_** write more significant than what you do.*

To simply show would read like this: the woodsman snatched his axe from the stump and leaped into the wood; it doesn't matter how little or much I describe it to you, I'm still telling you what happened, instead of provoking a reader's imagination. Make. Them. Guess.

Imply meaning _from_ description; do not simply state(tell) or describe(show). Make every line on your page a hook that pulls readers deeper into your story. Every sentence and paragraph should ask a question. *A story should speak fluently without dialogue.*

Torture your readers like the sadistic bastards we are.

[engvidAlex]

Great stuff, Benjamin! This was actually useful for me and my own hobby of fiction writing.

[jamescleiton]

"His explanation was great!"
Or
"He explaneid so much better than every teacher has taught me ever!".

[natethegreat]

Writing 101: Ask yourself how you know what you’re telling the reader.
Ex: The man was stressed.
Ask yourself “How do I know that?” Then share the answer with the audience:
There was a man sitting in the corner of the waiting room. His hair was matted to his forehead where beads of had been sweat collecting. His right leg was shaking in a steady rhythm accompanied by his blank stare into the distance.

Here, the reader might infer this man was either waiting to hear news on a loved one or even himself. Much more interesting than the original sentence and made possible via the ole “how do I know this?” questionnaire. Great advice & a great video!

[vietnam]

Me before watching this video: The man was mad there was only one chair left the store.

Me after watching this video: The man roared in rage as he smashed the last chair in the Ikea store.

Thanks for making this video!

[cassienawi]

I'm from Malaysia, and I truly love this simple, yet powerful tips to improve writing skill. This has been taught in school, but this short video made it so clear that I felt I haven't think before! Fully recommended for creative writing(narrative or descriptive) . Also, as I'm studying to become an English teacher, this is fully helpful to give me idea of teaching. Thanks Benjamin!😀

[judemoralesU]

This video is 6 years old and it popped up on my feed. I'm 70 years old and feeling as if I have a story to tell. I think I'll begin in the morning.❤ I've got some pictures to paint. 😂

[madnessbydesign]

Ironically, when I used descriptions like the "fidgeting and biting his nails" one, I was told that was too much 'stage direction'.

[mattiaslarsson]

The most comedic video about an educational topic I've ever watched. Thank you for all the laughs and great lessons, my dear sir.

[truehare]

I think this was the best, most clear explanation of how "show don't tell" works that I've ever seen. At least it was the most helpful for me personally. Thank you.

[ChiotVulgaire]

I feel there IS a place for the simple sentence, like when stating plainly a conclusion built up in a narrative or when it serves to contrast against being descriptive, but its also important to keep from over-elaborating. It is better to show than tell, but endlessly droning on or using increasingly verbose and esoteric words can feel tiresome. Shakespeare did say that "brevity is the soul of wit".

[aristidezoides]

Great advice for effective writing to make the reader actually feel the situation. like actually being in, experiencing and sensing the scene. 6 minutes that could change your understanding in effective communication through writing. Excellent and very well presented video.

[WonderWithGil]

This is very helpful. Now, I am trying to balance the teaching “keep it simple and cut all the unnecessary” and this one. But this i very helpful for creative writing. :)

[sharvyahmed]

I work with logics, codes, and algorithms. Never have I ever tried to learn creative writing or story telling. But in recent times, somehow I am convinced, without better writing, specially better explaining, I can't be a good mentor. It took me sometime to find this video. These examples hooked me up. You have one more subscriber now! You deserve appreciation for such great content. Keep doing the awesome work, dude!

[vidyawitch]

my eyes widened... i took out a pencil, writing down the sentences from the video!
thank u...this was incredibly helpful. good day.

[nerosonic]

The wealth of knowledge realized from this video now encourages me to write aspiring literature