Moving to my birth country… after 24 years 🇨🇳

💌 s o c i a l s

☎️ p o d c a s t

🎵 m u s I c

xx
love & appreciate u! - Leah

[beautyJenny]

I was born in China and went to Germany when I was 7 with my mom. My parents are divorced as well and my dad stayed in China. I have always wondered the same thing: How would my life be if I stayed in China? How would my personality be? Would I be different or the same?
This year, after my graduation, I finally had the time to visit China and reconnect with my dad and grandma. It is difficult to build and maintain a relationship when you are on different continents. It broke my heart when I left the airport to go back to Germany. My dad and grandma were waiting and looking after me until they couldn't see me at the gate anymore. I think the worst part is that I don't know when I will be able to visit them again and if my grandma will still be on this earth until then.

Thank you for sharing your personal story and how you try to reconnect with your dad. I can say from my own experience that it takes a lot of courage and can be heavy for your mental health since you're dealing with childhood trauma. Thank you also for saying that it counts when you show up and try your best since that is the only thing we can control. I wish you the best and will be rooting for you!

[Doobydobap]

thank you for sharing this video made me cry but also give me hope. Your storytelling is the best part of the internet.

[yuzhezheng]

Im Chinese living in Australia, I’m crying watching this while eating some rice balls. My heart aches knowing that I can never be in both worlds at the same time😢 so much grief, loss and nostalgia.

[madelinegrace]

Thanks Leah <3 The part about time with our parents being limited struck a chord with me. My father died in January suddenly (I'm 29) and am now navigating a life without him, when I thought I'd have him for much longer. Take care of yourself, and love your family every day <3 <3

[fauxcherry]

This makes me feel at home for some reason, I'm Vietnamese with Hoa ancestry (basically Chinese blood), and my parents always encouraged me to learn Chinese and connect to my culture. Though I always rejected that idea, having no idea why I should do so at all even though my Chinese blood is less than my Vietnamese blood. But I guess with the way I was raised, I would always be a little more Chinese than I am Vietnamese. I'm taking Chinese Mandarin classes currently and hope to take Cantonese (my family's from Guangdong province) classes in the future. Next year I'll be in China alone in the summer, experiencing the authentic way to learn a language. I'm not sure if it's truly my calling but when I graduate highschool, I'll be in China studying abroad. This video made me feel a little closer to my Chinese side, thank you :)

[cabbagcat]

when you were singing karaoke with your dad and he kept smiling at you and laughing :, -) that was such a precious moment

[bethhawes]

Hi from Beth in California, 32. With the risk of sounding dumb, I want to share… my mother was visiting my house today. She is great, but she worries too much and talks about her problems - even small ones. Lol. When I put your video on TV, she was so interested in watching and listening. She is 63. When the video ended she talked about how pretty and interesting you are. It was a nice moment🙂 New subscriber! …I don’t know what you believe about yourself and your channel, friend. But please know that you are amazing and important ❤️ Beth

[titotobi-lawal]

literally just moved back to Nigeria from London at 19 and I needed to watch this to feel that twisting of grief and joy be reflected at me through your video, wishing you nothing but peace and thank youuu

[lofi_Insomnia_]

Living in China has amazing experience despite not many people realizing it. I'm Canadian Chinese born in China and has moved back since 2023.

[MisterLuo]

I was born in Toronto and studied in Shenzhen when I was younger. Earlier this year my dad passed away from cancer and a 6 year relationship with my gf ended. I took my dad's ashes back to China and fell in love with the country over again. I haven't been back since 2008. I came back to Toronto after two weeks to a dead end job with nothing else left here in this city. I am making plans to relocate back to Shenzhen in the near future. Job hunting in China with a Canadian passport is near impossible, as the market is even rougher over there with millions of new grads every year, along with lay offs and unemployed locals who can't even find their next paycheque. I don't know what the future will hold or which direction I am facing, but I hope it works out in the end. Thanks for this video

[jmrekjj]

this made me cry :') i love your storytelling, i hope you continue to share your journeys and thoughts with us for a long time. it is much much more important to us than you think <3

[sumae]

wow this couldn’t have come at a better time! i recently came back from a 3 week trip to the philippines after not visiting for 6 years. it is my parents’ home country and is also where all of my relatives live. the past few days i’ve been reminiscing the memories i made there and missing my relatives so much.

when i got there i made it a priority to actually put in effort to speak to my relatives and form a close bond with them since before this i usually struggled with communication every time i visited due to the language barrier and it made me feel distant from my cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents etc. i was someone who could understand their ethnic language but struggled at speaking it. so prior to this trip, i made sure i improved my speaking skills in tagalog and it ended up being so worth it!

i had actual long, full conversations with my cousins for the first time ever, i talked to my grandmothers more often and asked questions back. i made the initiative to be the first one to start conversations and i truly don’t regret it! the trip ended with me crying as i had formed close relationships with my loved ones and learnt more about them. i didn’t want to leave! looking back i felt so full there since i was surrounded with family and just the liveliness of philippines itself: the busy streets, so many kids playing about, the food. i also feel like i’m a different version of me there in a good way.

the past few days i’ve also been wondering the same questions you did, “what would life be like if i had grown up there?” but i’ve stopped dwelling on that and started thinking about where do i want my life to be in the future? i think in the near future i would want to move to the philippines even just for a few months to stay in touch with family and explore a version of me that i could’ve potentially been.

[RetireearlyNYC]

I cried as soon as I started watching this. I’m 49 and been out of China since 9. Haven’t been back. Planned on it prior to the pandemic but now will probably do a trip in a year or 2.

And we too just came back from Tokyo. And will head to Quebec in 2 months.

The way you narrate your story is so great. Certainly more wisdom than your 27 years would suggest.

Enjoy your journey. I look forward to watching your other videos, of our homeland and other lands.

Hello from NYC :)

[softerhaze]

As an overseas born Chinese, this resonates very deeply for me as I'm sure it does for many others 😭 the nostalgia, longing, for a place that looks and feels so like home yet never having lived there before . Especially now with increasing coverage and vlogs of people going to China, seeing the people, the food, the cities, buildings, mountains and rivers I somehow feel such a strong sense of home when looking at these scenes. My grandparents immigrated with hopes of a better future for their future generations, but their roots and hearts are always in China. now that China has developed so much I hope I can one day take my parents back home to China with me in the future to see the beauty now of our motherland

[rosecrelliviolin]

Hi Leah! Thank you for your beautiful, thoughtful video! I was born in China, but abandoned at an orphanage as a baby and adopted to my family in Alaska. I recently tried to return to China and visit, but unfortunately had to cancel my trip because my visa wasn’t approved. I was so heartbroken but truly hope to be able to visit soon and heal and reconnect with my roots and maybe someday reunite with my biological family! 🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖

[PhillipVu]

this one hit close to home. Thanks for being open and sharing Leah <3

[cy]

Im from shenzhen and have been living in australia for 24yrs. Worked, married with two young children. Our family is travelling back in shenzhen for a year next yr and i really look forward to reconnecting with this place where i always call home.

[Jojo_yareyare]

I just saw this video on my fyp. I was born in ‘97 as well but as a Chinese adoptee. I was in an orphanage in Shenzhen for the first 3 yrs of my life. I have no idea if I was born in that city, but I was there and first visited China again only at age 20. I would love to live in China or even Hong Kong but it’s hard getting visas for that kind of things. Now with my own child I want him to be raised in Asia. The title of the video intrigued me and I was even more interested knowing you were born in Shenzhen. I know it’s a really big city now, but I would love to find my birth parents someday. Best of luck in China!

[rez]

I'm a foreigner but I've been living in China for the past two years, first as a student and now about to start my first job here. I really enjoy living here, it brings me immense peace even though I'm so far away from "home". :)

[garlicrice]

your openness is such an eclipsing gift