ALWAYS SAY BONJOUR IN FRANCE... OR ELSE!

It's true -- bonjour is a magic word in France. As a tourist in Paris or anywhere in France, you'll learn this really quickly when you forget to say bonjour. It really is the most important word in France and starts every interaction off on the right foot. It means hello -- literally good day -- and should be used every time you interact with anyone BEFORE asking for directions, ordering food, etc. But saying bonjour in French is nuanced and you don't say it more than one to the same person and there are some instances where you don't say it.

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Salut! I'm Diane, an American who has lived in France since 2012 and the creator of the blog/YouTube channel Oui In France. My channel's focus is "Everyday French life and beyond." I make videos on French culture topics, France vs. US culture comparisons, food, travel, language, and give you my thoughts about what it's like living in France as an American in the Loire Valley. Thanks for being here and if you enjoy this sort of thing, please share with friends and subscribe!

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[plainoolong]

I'm in france for the second time in my life right now. the first time I spoke no french at all and was too shy to even try. so naturally I thought, "wow, the french really are rude." Now I've been self-studying french for about two years and wanted to give france another go. Wow! what a difference! It's really rewarding to have a full conversation in french and if I get tripped up on something, people usually switch to english. Saying bonjour really is huge, I wish I knew that the first time around, I actually feel guilty of how rude I was on my first trip.

[toddmiller]

Bon jour Diane. I just returned from a week in Paris and you are so correct. I started every interaction with a friendly and smiling Bon jour and even though the people I was speaking to knew I was struggling with the language, (3 years of high school and college French 45 years ago), the people seemed to appreciate my attempt to show respect to their language, their country, and their culture. They went out of their way to assist me and most of them recognized that I was an American. So many of the wonderful people of France speak English and made things easy for me. What a wonderful country!

[gsbeak]

I'm French and you nailed it : Saying Bonjour to a shop clerk means "I acknowledge you as a fellow human being and not a vending machine". That's why it is rude to not do it.
I remember when I was a young child, when my parents had guests (not family ) arriving at our home, my siblings and I had to stop playing and queue up to greet individually each guest with a formal "Bonjour Monsieur" or "Bonjour Madame".

[Arksin]

If you ever forget to say bonjour (even for us natives it happens at times) and the person points it out to you, i just say "ah désolé, bonjour" (oh sorry, hello) it makes it understood that it's an omission and not beeing rude on purpose

[joelcafeolai]

I agree, being French ( living in the UK ), 'Bonjour' is the password that opens any conversation, anywhere, anytime. And remember that French love foreign accents, so do not worry how you say it, just say it, and if they smile when you say bonjour, they are not mocking your accent, it is because they find it very cute and it brings a smile on their face.

[webyourstuff]

Bonjour! When I went to France, our tour guide told us about the importance of "bonjour" first thing. If a stranger approached me and said "hello", I would have reacted poorly. As in "are you setting me up for something?". But then, one day I took a trip to see something that was not on our schedule, and I needed to find the subway. I approached a teen boy and said "bonjour". He gave me his full attention, listened to my question, and directed me to the subway. Magic! The whole conversation took place with my paltry French and I got to Versailles quite ok.

[nerdinium]

Bonjour! 🙂I can confirm. Was a discussion on Facebook translated from french. I used bonjour to start, no one else did, and I was the only person they answered. I learned this from you. 👍

[lsq]

I'm French, and there was one time this cultural difference became so jarring I switched myself to "rude French stereotype".

I was minding my own business at one of Paris' major train stations and some tourist lady just planted herself in front of me and asked "metro?"
That's it.
Bitch I'm not an information panel.

[dev]

Bon jour! Of all of your amazing vlogs, this is the best. It's critical yet so simple to accomplish. Your comment about saying bon jour is much more than just being polite. It's about seeing the person as human and that you respect them. That is the most critical lesson in life, regardless of whether you are a tourist or in your own neighborhood.

I work for a large international company. We have non-Europeans who come to the US either on work Visas or just a few weeks stay. They don't always treat service workers politely. I tell them that saying please and thank you is required - it shows that you value them and what they do.

I was raised in the rural American South. As a child, I was taught to always say "thank you" and "please". Instead of "hello, can you help me", it was "excuse me, can you help me". As an adult, I always say good morning/afternoon/evening, please, thank you. I try my best to say hello/hi to waitstaff or anyone with who I interact.

Saying bon jour is expected but I believe that most service people who work in primary tourist areas in Paris are culturally savvy and realize that non-French have different cultural norms. While they prefer bon jour, they don't deny service if a non-French doesn't say it, especially younger people. However, if you are outside of the tourist area or outside of Paris, bon jour is critical. Regardless, it's such a simple thing to do and will make your French visit vastly more enjoyable.




Merci.

[ballisonfargo]

In this case, the French way is just better. If you walk up to someone and just start demanding things from them without so much as a hello, that is just rude. We should all acknowledge that and strive to do better. I also feel that a warm smile is worth a lot. May not be true everywhere in the world though.

[theojycece]

Diane, ta video est top ! Tu as raison sur 98% de ce que tu dis. Continue stp 😘

[susanbartone]

I consider myself polite and respectful. However, I also realize that I do not start every interaction with restaurant staff, grocery store employees, etc. with a hi or hello. To be perfectly honest, until watching this video, I wouldn’t have giving it a second thought. I would use a polite, respectful tone, I would look someone in the eye, but sometimes I don’t even always say thank you. I don’t necessarily agree with the way I interact after hearing these examples in France. I mean, what can it hurt to take an extra beat and say hello yes can I have something please?

[jme]

It's the same on the telephone and you say "au revoir" before hooking up or leaving the person so he knows the conversation is over .

[brigittelacour]

These politeness rules are quite common in Europe, it's not only french.
We teach our kids the "magic words" by using it to them, kids imitate adults. If they miss these words, we don't understand them or don't hear them. It's why it's magic, it makes understand ! 😂
And if tourist act like rude kids we treat them like rude kids 😂

I was replying on insta to someone saying all french are rude. She finally said "as I'm a tourist and spend money in France, the french have to be polite to me not the other way around ! " 😮 " people working in restaurants or shops have to serve us, it's their jobs, why saying please and thank you to employees ?" 😮
I was very shoked by her reply and the reply of others !
And yes on top of that, " as France is a touristic area, every french should a least speak english ! " 😮😮😮

[emmanuellegd]

Bonjour Diane, tu réussis complètement ton but!! 👏👏👍well done🎉
You help people from different culture to get on well with others and explain the differences between them. I love your léger accent en français : so charming😊

[sophienussle]

Although it’s not done in urban settings, it’s polite to say bonjour to people you meet on hiking trails in the French Alps, Pyrenees or countryside.

[MOEhock]

I was in a boulangerie near gare du Nord in Paris in a queue. The woman in front of me said in English with an American accent "one of those and one of those" while pointing. I was just shocked, I felt like I should apologise to the serveuse for her. There was not even a thank you at the end. This lesson of bonjour, s'il vous plait, merci, and au revoir (bonus points for bon journée too) is the lesson I impart to any visitors we have here. Saying thes things do not mean much but not saying them really is like being deliberatley rude.

[isabellapresleyauthor]

Thank you Diane! In Montreal it's quite the same here too, where we say "Bonjour/Hi" (incase people speak English) but it's also the norms to say Bonjour or Salut, and Bonne journee when leaving a shop or cafe etc :)

[JHN_D]

It reminds me the song in Beauty and the Beast (Belle / sing-a-long) when they say "Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour, bonjour, 🎶😂

[Jessica_P_Fields]

Bonsoir Diane! I went to Paris for the first time last year, and I know that I unintentionally forgot some "bonjours" while I was there (mostly due to stress). I will say it's a relief to be greeted first, because it becomes a reflex to just say it back automatically! Easy peasy. Everyone I interacted with were very polite about it, but I do feel bad in retrospect. But I feel worse about all of the "s'il vous plaîts" I know I missed. I've got "merci" down to basically a reflex, but my mind would just go blank for "s'il vous plaît". Same thing happened to me in Mexico with "por favor". Of course I would never forget to say "please" in English, so I don't know what's going on there. I'm returning to France (and visiting French speaking Switzerland) next month, and it's my mission to remember my "s'il vous plaîts"! Thanks for the video!