How to Spot a Cult | Sarah Edmondson | TED

Nobody joins a cult on purpose, says Sarah Edmondson, a former member of the infamous Nxivm cult and one of the three whistleblowers that led to its downfall. She explains how she got ensnared in this highly manipulative group — and then escaped it — and shares red flags to help you distinguish between a cult and a safe community.

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[nikita_kozlov]

I don’t know if my dad came up with this, but he always told me: “before you label yourself as crazy, take a look around and make sure you’re not surrounded by assholes.”

[lessarey]

I spent 40+ years in an abusive family dynamic. After walking away, I realized it was “run like a cult” by my mother. So yes, families can be cult-like as well.

[ryancraig]

This is one instance where being a little antisocial and not being a "joiner" has naturally inoculated me against getting involved in cults or MLMs.

[dudeamongus]

As someone who was raised in a cult their entire life and got out in my early 30's, I believe you've not mentioned the most important hallmark of a cult. They will discourage any other journey. There's is the 'best' way, and questioning it using logic and reason is basically not well accepted.

[genevalawrence]

There is a book called Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism by Amanda Montell. It’s a fascinating read about how cults and cult-like groups use language to draw people in and to exercise control. The author also looks at how much modern marketing uses the language of cults to create brand loyalty.

[christophersims]

It’s a lonely world after defecting from a cult . Seems like nobody understands the level of “love” and “friendship” you experienced. And you’re left to journey the world they demonized only to find out, gradually, how good freedom feels. You discover the beauty of life, and you do it without the people you shared your whole life with. And you know it was wrong but you miss having that “family” around. Thanks for healing my heart a little today

[ItsDannyRobbins]

My former workplace used MUCH of the language she uses as examples, and it makes sense why it was so hard for me to leave despite feeling burned out. I felt like I was abandoning a place that "needed me" when in reality, I was no more irreplaceable than the next employee. Dont ever let a company make you feel like you can't leave. In fact, you probably SHOULD.

[alreadytired]

Sadly the best inoculation to a cult is having been in a cult. Being raised in one makes me VERY sensitive to anything that slightly seems like one.

[calebash]

Looking at you, Landmark. I had a person who I thought was a really genuine friend who wanted to help me during a very tumultuous time in my life. Try really hard to recruit me into landmark and it almost cost me more than I could ever afford. I'm so glad I realized quickly what was going on and got away. I asked that person firmly with a text message to never discuss landmark or anything to do with landmark with me ever again, she promptly replied okay and that she understood and all of a sudden. She never wanted to hang out with me ever again. I realized in that moment she was never a friend at all

[davidbrasher]

I was born in a cult. It was not fair. I never had the choice to look at the organization and choose to join or not. I finally woke up and got my act together and escaped when I was about 25.

[metrocardful]

I went to a known religious/spiritual center once. The whole vibe was group think, no individual process. When I asked "Where's the bathroom?" Two people linked arms with me on both sides and said 'we'll go with you." That was enough for me. Never went back.

[wesshort]

Sarah, watching that HBO series gave me the courage to escape a 30 year toxic marriage and ended up literally saving my life.

[terencefitzpatrick]

Avoid "cults of personality, " organizations that are focused on a single personality: their zealous and magical leader.

[marciadafne]

Before this whole thing blew up I met someone who was in Nexivm, he hired me to design some flyers so he could promote it. When I asked him for the logo and he didn't have a jpg file, I told him I could just look it up online.
He said "yeah... you might find some stuff online about them being a cult, but it's just because the parent of some members is sore about his daughters cutting contact with him. Don't pay any attention to it"
So of course I read the whole article and was glad I never went to one of the meetings I was invited to.

[AA-wctw]

I'm a former right-wing evangelical cult member of the American flavor. I was indoctrinated upon birth by my parents.
I've been out for over 20 years and I still struggle with some of the lies I was force-fed.
I also struggle with my relationship with my parents because they are extremely rigid in their beliefs and hold a lot of hatred for people who are not white evangelicals like them.

[fatcafatca]

Cult signs (in video):
Assumption of neediness.
Expensive.

Loaded Language.
Lawsuits or Bad Press.
Definitive answers.

Things cults don't tend to have:
Questions are welcomed.
You can exit drama-free.
Healthy amount of commitment.
Holds up to your research.

[fearlesssfcappuccino]

I clicked on this with definite interest that it might be useful info, but man did it exceed all of any expectations I could've had - I'm blown away by the power in this short/digestible talk, and the essential information it makes available. So grateful for Sarah Edmondson for having the courage to engage in this and to TEDTalk.

[Voila]

Not religious at all, but once attended church w/friend after id been robbed. The church asked for a donation. When i told them i was just robbed and i couldn't spare any. The answer was, still donate and the lord will provide when the time comes. Thats all i needed to stay away. Turns out she left the church for cult like behavior.

[alexandrawelch]

Thank you for having the courage to speak the truth and seek justice! This is so much more common than we care to acknowledge.

[KylaWalls]

I won't mention the company's name. But a friends son has pretty much turned his whole life over to a MLM organization. Over five years now. He went from being this sweet, curious friendly young man to an automaton who just spews slogans and toxic positivity. He believes that if he can just bring enough people in "under" him, he will soon have a huge glass house on the beach and he'll never have to work a day in his life again. In 5 years he's brought in less than 10 people and some of them ended up dropping out. He still scopes out people at coffee shops and tries to make seemingly innocent small talk. He then tells them he knows how they can make a lot of money and be financially solvent for the rest of their lives. Hes been asked to leave at least one coffee shop. He buys boxes of products from the MLM company to make it look like he's got a real business going. But he just buys those items and those boxes sit in a closet as he tries to pawn them off on family and friends, what few non MLM friends he still might have. Its so sad to watch this young man who was smart and kind and friendly become a shill for a MLM organization that just rips people off.