Say THIS when people speak over you

If people speak over you, then you need to learn how to frame the conversation first.

[_wija]

“can you shut up for 5 minutes and let me talk?” but more polite

[RagnarUchiha]

"Did the middle of my sentence interupt the beginning of yours?" Does the trick as well.

My boss just calmly keeps talking as if you are not there.

[jspau]

That doesn't work in a casual/social setting. Sometimes people talk over me, and I usually say "Can I be honest with you? You're interrupting me a lot and it's making me not want to continue speaking with you." That usually makes them stare in shock and actually listen.

[alexp]

20 seconds in: "Nah, I disagree. You can stop the timer"

[benohanlon]

Tried it with my Wife. She's still laughing.

[geriburrito]

What I say to my students is: ‘you asked me a question so I presume you want to listen to my answer right? I can’t give you an answer if you keep interrupting, so could you hold on til I’ve finished answering you?’

This message makes them aware that they are being rude and ungrateful while seeing your request as a petition for a favor instead of a scolding.

[amrutha]

The problem is in my case, they won't even listen to that request.

[j]

“Can we hold questions until the end?”

“If you don’t mind, I’ll hold that question/topic for a couple of minutes while I lay out the foundation for everyone to be in the same page.”

“We’ll cover that in a couple of slides; remind me if I don’t get back to it by the end of the presentation.“

“There are three ways to look at this problem: …“ (most people won’t interrupt after you say this to kick off your comment, and if they do, you can easily bring it back by saying, “so that’s point 1, let me quickly cover the second and third ideas “)

[rfgtvnl]

Sometimes people only need a little hint that they are interrupting. Be confident and finish your sentence/thought even if someone else starts speaking. won’t always work but often signals to the person you aren’t done if you keep going

[anewly]

Nice in theory, not great in practice, at least for the most stubborn of serial interrupters

[manpip]

using this with clients as a nutritionist. There was a client who would continue talking over me and getting sidetracked from the point and the flow i wanted to have, in order to make the appointment at the reasonable time, so i wouldn't also inconvenience the rest of the clients after him. I found that framing and describing whats going to follow in the conversation, was what i needed with the specific fellow. Make a strict frame and announce how the flow is going to be, what you will say and what you want them to say. Saves so much time and prevents any randomness while still being polite!

[sro]

My theory is dont talk to people who dont want to listen and not trying to adapt yourself to them.

[tarunsakthivel]

This really does not work with serial interrupters, their main issue is the lack of focus and a fundanental lack of respect for other peoples opinions

[j]

Vinh, I love your material, big fan!

If you find it helpful, I might point out that this is not what “priming” means in psychology. In your example, you were very explicit by just asking for agreement or telling someone your plan. Priming is more of an implicit or subconscious effect, more of a subtle cue rather than an overt negotiation or conversation. Both approaches can be quite powerful, and the example you gave is definitely a good tool to have your tool kit. It’s just not called priming.

Priming might be something subtle like, for example, having some textbooks and #2 pencils stacked in the corner of the room. You might find people take a more academic or intellectual approach to problem-solving when they are in a room with academic materials, even when those materials are not in a prominent location and possibly not even consciously noticed by the person.

Another example from a real psychology experiment: when filling out a short demographic survey before taking a math test, some students are asked questions about their gender. Other students are asked questions about their ethnic background. When gender is primed in this way, women perform worse on math tests (on average) because the “women are bad at math” stereotype has been primed in their brain _merely_ by asking them to state their gender. Similar effects for ethnic stereotypes that are associated with being good or bad and math. It’s interesting that Asian women can be primed into performing worse if you ask about gender and better if you ask about ethnicity!

Anyway, I’m just letting you know that “priming” is not an overt conversation or negotiation with your conversation partner. It’s a subtle thing.

[Grejegando]

Responding as such during a social gathering would instantly earn you the 'lunatic' or 'avoid at all costs' label.

[bendekbotond]

It's a generally good advice to gently let others know they are being problematic. But I think putting a timer on them is very condenscending. It would make a lot of people very stressed, insecure and embarrassed around you.

[Adam-ytuz]

I love your channel!! I learn quite a bit from your channel and I think I have become a far better communicator thanks to you. This particular piece of advice does not seem practical to me, but some sort of variation of this I could see working very well. Like for example, when people on podcast are telling a story and they want to avoid being interrupted I hear them say “but wait this isn’t even the crazy part yet” or like “hold on it gets even better”

[sriramradhakrishna]

a well timed 'could you please not interrupt me when I'm speaking' usually does the job.

[dmmchugh]

This technique would not work with my relatives, but I would use it at work !