Why You Talk the Way You Do – and What It Says About You

In this deep dive into Katherine D. Kinzler’s *How You Say It*, we explore how your voice shapes who you are, how others perceive you, and how it divides or connects us in surprising ways. From accents acting as invisible social barriers to the hidden biases in everyday conversations, this video unpacks the psychological and social forces behind the way we speak. You’ll discover why language is more than just communication—it's identity. Join me as I break down the science, the stories, and the surprising power of speech in today’s world.

#linguistics #communication #psychology #identity #HowYouSayIt

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[onetruetroy]

The AI voice is male baritone with an accent of an American who attended university; therefore, the content is reliable.

[davidowen]

My grandmother, who was very keen on manners, insisted that you couldn't be a gentleman without speaking like one. I'm sadly guilty of many biases highlighted in this presentation.

[andischamber]

Non-native speaker here. Couple years ago when I wanted to share my music online I got bullied about my accent and ever since it's been challenging to be present on social media and show my art to others. It's always on my mind of how I talk and express myself, and I shy away whenever I get clumsy in my wording. I even got to the point where some people assumed I'm from States because I "burried" my true accent and replaced it with the American one.

I am grateful that I moved to Berlin where I am exposed to so many cultures and ways how people talk. It has gotten easier to connect with people even if I mess up. Like yeah, I accidentally skipped an article somewhere, people still got my point and that's what matters by the end of the day.

There's still a lot of work to do to fully feel comfortable with how I talk. This video will change a lot for the better from now on. So thank you! This video essay brought me to tears. For the first time I truly felt heard, understood, accepted and encouraged to just be myself and speak naturally

[Hizashisam]

speaking slowly as you do makes it very easy to listen and comprehend

[dorothypettijohn]

Im a white Californian, I like to think of Californians having no accent, my NY relatives would disagree. But worked for years in dialysis, a unit that was 90% Filipino. I Had no problem understanding my coworkers at all, despite their thick tagalog accents. But at my desk I would field calls from throughout the hospital of hauty caucasians complaining that
they were forced to call me bc they couldnt understand my Filipino coworkers. I am no linguist, but I think most US citizens are too lazy or biggoted to really listen to what is being said. They just cant get past the accent! Very true and informative!

[I-SpeakHuman]

I’m from the coast of Mississippi and have been judged all my life for how I speak. I LOVE language, and traveling and meeting people from all over the world has given me so much value. I wish others would see how amazing it is to communicate with people globally. It makes me proud to be a human.

[adg]

As a native Spanish speaker college educated, living in the USA, I’ve come to realize that how you’re perceived really depends on the context and what you’re talking about:

• In social situations, where status matters a lot, your accent can make a big difference.
• In professional settings, it’s more about the quality of your ideas and how clearly you express them.

I think of it as three intertwined layers that shape your perceived status and competence:

• Accent
• Quality of ideas
• Articulation

Each of these matters differently depending on the situation you’re in.

But people first see your skin, then how you’re dressed, and only after that do they start listening to you. So how you speak is the only chance to bypass their bias.

[miapapiaperez]

my parents are hispanic and had a bit of an accent when i was younger. when they enrolled me in kindergarten i remember having to take speech lessons despite speaking perfect english because they thought i’d have my parents’ accent. very interesting video!

[justAplayer]

We have a saying, in Czech that goes: Kolik jazyků znáš, tolikrát jsi člověkem.
(How many languages you know, that's how many times you are a human.)
And I think it's absolutely true.

[uWu-fplc]

As a multilingual person, living in a country where English is the second language, I found myself introducing myself to others saying, "I feel like my most authentic self when I speak in English."
This video makes me introspect on that. I think it has to do with how there are more words that I know of that are at my disposal, in English. Another part of me thinks that it could be related to how I learned to cope using poetry (which was in English).

I say that, and yet, I think my words in my native language a different "rawness" to it, especially when I'm filled with powerful emotions. English has a way to articulate the depth, but my native language captures it in a way that English seems to struggle doing.

I remember being told that I was as young as 4 when I gained fluency in English. I still spoke my native language in our house, but outside I would only speak in English. This was also, btw, solidified because you are praised if you speak in English in this country.

At this point, I find myself somewhat rambling in this comment. I think I need more time to think about this. But Thank you for this video.
This was a very thought-provoking one... and it helps (I won't elaborate further why). Cheers to you!

[IkeFoxbrush]

"You humans instinctively favor people who talk like you"
Here I am in late 2024, eating a piece of chocolate cake while watching a video on Youtube, and having an AI call me out for being human :/

[abyss]

This is something that has definitely impacted me my entire life I was born with a cleft lip and palate which drastically changes the way that I talk I've had hundreds and hundreds of comments on my YouTube videos making fun of me putting my voice down in various ways

[miky]

This hit. I remember a coworker named Tchakpana who wanted to be called Kevin. And as a bilingual, I told him. Bro, your name is awesome. I will call you tchakpana

[messyvirgo]

My mom is a native brazilian Portuguese speaker and my dad is a native German speaker and we moved to the US when i was 2 years old. as a baby my parents spoke to me in German and English (bc we were in Austria) but my mom ofc had an accent when she spoke German and English. I feel like this caused me to grow up with less of a bias

[chaoselpadre]

I have a weird voice, and most of the time I'm always discriminated, mocked in social groups or neglected when someone new comes up. I can say from experience that how you sound is very important in how you are seen and accepted .

[OniSorasousha]

I will admit that I have some of these biases, but an experience with one non English speaker who I really like a lot made me more open to trying to understand people even when they have bad English even through text. This has translated into me being willing to put up with a lot more diverse speech patterns than I was willing to endure when I was young, back in my 20's or so, but I don't think everyone has transformative experiences like this. This gives me some interesting insight for sure.

[MissJessicaHairCare]

I remember in college, in one of my math classes, our teacher was from France so he had a very thick French accent. The first day of class he was like “my accent sounds thick to you right now but as the course goes on, you’ll understand me just fine. He did not lie. I honestly forgot he had an accent.

[coolslimm]

Yo it’s so interesting when u learn lil shit like this, shit that we overlook, but then u realize like “damn, somehow this shit makes so much sense to me ” cause it would be boring to just plainly talk, but to perform your speech and tune your voice the way you want it is fun lol, it’s like singing every word, that’s pleasing af when u think about it. I’m glad life’s that way, it’s weird but makes sense at the same time. I might not make no sense at all right now lls …

[sarahj]

The UK is very very obvious in this regard. The number of accents by regions and class indicate everything about a person even on a tiny island like Britain

[davidowen]

Okay, 24 hours and a lot of thinking later. After watching this last evening I left a comment remarking that I was sad because I was guilty of unfounded bias regarding the way people speak. "Sad", was far from the write word, devastated would be much more appropriate. When I said I was guilty, I should have said, very, very guilty. It's a sign of the quality of this gut punching and eye opening presentation that it could hit so hard. Cofiwch! Words are like weapons they wound sometimes. Wield them wisely.