How to know who hold MORE POWER in a RELATIONSHIP

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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.

#power #relationships #psychology

[aquicktake]

"the person that does less is more powerful" G_d damn it, I knew my kid had all the power!

[zayd]

The person who makes the decisions, that's power...

[PiyushGupta-vxqi]

Guess that is my grandma sitting in her wheelchair

[thflsh]

I do very little at work, so I must be the most powerful ;)

[TheRealJonster]

In short: acts of service. Ask her to do things for you, and if she refuses, she doesn't like you enough. You want a woman to invest herself in the relationship, by simply asking for acts of service.. "Oh babe, I forgot to X, can you do it for me?", "Oh babe, I seem to have lost my X, can you help me find it?" Etc etc. Make her work for you

[kristinej.]

This makes sense. Growing up my father moved the least and he did have more power. He had power over my mom and his children but not bc he earned it but bc he demanded it through fear tactics.

[Lady.Luck.]

This was true in my relationship. My husband would outright refuse to help or contribute his share. He was very stick in the mud. And it did hold tons of power. Held the whole house hostage in a way

[GoOutside]

I’m a doer. I get things done. I consider that a power point, not a “step down”. I actually “make sh!t happen”. That’s powerful. Not weak.

[JBplumbing]

Who has the most power?
A. The one who moves the least.
B. The one who moves the most.
C. The one who makes the decisions.
D. The one who does the work.
E. The one who manipulates the one who makes the decisions.
F. The one with the most overt influence.
G. The one with the most covert influence.
H. The one who must not be offended.
I. The one in line with social themes and trends.
J. The one who sets the social themes and trends.
K. The one with the most to lose.
L. The one with the least to lose.
M. The most intelligent.
N. The most wise.
O. All of the above.
P.

[Sheri-sbyr]

The person with the MOST MONEY 💰 has the POWER.

[sdorce]

That’s crazy, and I get it. Re-evaluating everything I think I knew about those around me.

[Memelander]

This is a highly transactive way of viewing a relationship. Good meaningful relationships consist of a roughly equal/agreeable division of labor as well as doing things for one another in overt or subtle ways.

[psychonaut]

I think there's a difference between power and dominance.

[cosmictreason]

Correct definition of power. That's also why authority and power are different concepts. Authority is the RIGHT to exercise power

[matthewsalmon]

Power equals work divided by time to do it. Power equals force times velocity.

[EngmaOSC]

That definition of power is super useful. I believe that it provides more insight into psychodynamics.
Adlerian psychology kind of speaks of this but more or so. The person doing less was kind of shown in some of the cases brought up in Alfred Adler's book "Understanding Human Psychology" in that most of the cases explain that the person who benefits from a dynamic is most likely not to change as their survival is sustainable.

Another point that supports this idea would actually come from some male dating coach advice in body language aficionados who often use Thomas Shelby, the lead character in Peaky Blinders to demonstrate how powerful he seems through is stoic and lack of expression and immediate reaction to events and especially tragedies throughout the show. An addition to checking to see if your agenda is being pushed and goals met in social dynamics would also be to feign moral or ethical attacks and meet them with indifference to stand your ground and protect your interests. Unlike Thomas though, I also believe in healthy processing afterwards instead of using maladaptive coping mechanisms like substances or harmful forms of ego defense mechanisms.

Great insight for understanding social and power dynamics!

Super useful tip!

[nathanaelasrat]

I don’t think that’s the case because a person with power may not do menial jobs for himself, but that just means he allocates his time/energy to the most important jobs that his “followers”/“employees” can’t do. Examples are decision making, accountability, problem solving, managing etc.

[robertlopez]

Remeber gentlemen, you forfeit power in marriage. Your value as well. When she can put you through the ringer in divorce and take half, she has all.the leverage. Word to the wise.

[chrisj]

Your definition of power resolves to : power = money.

[zensvlognotapro]

The person who does less has money and wealth that makes them powerful and authoritative . Money is a tool where it can move people .