Fentanyl Addict interview-Jessi (follow up)

Soft White Underbelly follow up interview and portrait of Jessi, a fentanyl addict in Los Angeles.

[colewilliams]

She's one of the best I've ever seen at justifying and rationalizing staying sick. The absolute insanity of addiction at its best right here. I've been there and it's nearly impossible to see it when you're in it

[bayoujd]

I hate that she thinks alcohol hasn’t completely changed her. If only she were sober and could look at herself. Praying for you Jessi. I have definitely been here

[tawnigarcia]

She needs to go back to the hospital ASAP. Her hands are a sign of either liver failure or heart failure. They are retaining fluid and red and those are not something to mess with. Especially sense she had endocarditis which is a parasite in your heart. That’s why she said it looked like an octopus coming off her heart valve. Jessica if u see this please go straight to the hospital. I’ll be praying for u.

[paintedwolf]

You can listen to her trying to convince herself of different things while she's trying to explain her life.

[johnpharis]

This poor girl is in COMPLETE I don't believe a word she is saying. She said that her and Roman are "Doing good and are solid with good people around them." REALLY ??? She really needs to come to reality.

[itsanorristhing]

At the end of my addiction I was using not to be sick because that sickness will make you want to die! BUT there are ways to get clean without going through withdrawals that bad. I been clean 8 years and I could not put together 3 hours sober before. At this point in my recovery I cannot remember what it is like to be high but I remember the sickness. Jess you can do this your a strong women! There is no shame in asking for help. xoox Good luck

[jessicacarter]

She's so different when she interviews solo! Thanks, Mark!

[EllEss]

Jessie, denial is going to kill you, not make you better.
If you only worked at being honest as hard as you work at trying to convince yourself everythings ok.
Any road to recovery starts with honestly connecting to where your life is & what you're feeling.
I hope you get well soon!

[chiefindisguise]

Never underestimate a person’s ability to rationalize negative behavior.

[ambermoyle]

I can't seem to scroll down far enough to find anyone providing her with a kind word after putting herself out there to be judged by the world. I hope you find this Jessi...

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so glad you found a community that has become your chosen family. Hope you and your cat stay safe and well.

[Krstinedprtz]

She has rationalized her behavior quite well in her mind. I hope she gets help. ❤❤

[beckymellon]

Her eyes are so captivating !!!! I wish her good health and peace 🤞🤞❤️

[LuisHernandez-ovco]

As addicts we like to use terms like "functional" in order to keep doing the shit we do. There is no such thing as a functional addict. Bottom line. This young lady needs to be honest with herself.

[corinaturner]

Jess you have so much to offer people and your community. Being a people pleaser was something I struggled with as well as opiates for more than 15 years. It wasn’t easy but I never stopped trying to get clean no matter how many times I fell. I lacked self love always giving it away. Once I made the decision to love my self more things started to turn around. Eventually, dope no longer fit in my world of self love. It had become an oxymoron. If this message happened to find you. I hope you are healthy and well. Never give up hope to live a happy life sober where your body and mind will thank you!!

[GodlyBee]

I admire Mark's non judging attitude and acceptance. Sure he can see through her stories. He is a great interviewer

[Yassin.ibn.farouk]

Mark is starting to give tough love and I like it

[thisplaceiswack]

If you look at her hands you can see her body is losing proper blood flow. She is dying. Even her heart operation should have been a sign. And she is in denial trying to justify her lifestyle choices. What? I started my journey to get off the needle in 2019 and I'm still on maintenance working towards a better life. You have to face facts. And want the change.

[fifidownunda]

Thank you for sharing this interview, Mark. Your work is truly amazing. I am learning to cope with the chronic side-effects of my own mental illnesses via the posts you make. I've also come to understand that I was keeping myself in a victim-hood mentality by denying the reality of my own choices. Kudos to you, man 🙏

[Caitlin-walsh]

The tag on her pants 😢. One day Jess I hope you can look back on this period after healing and have a laugh. You're so smart and I hope you can get outta the street. I've been there and finally at a place where I can laugh (and of course sometimes cry) at how my insane life used to be but man is it ever so much brighter on the other side.

[travisschaefer]

The most amazing thing about addiction is how we keep on lowering the bar. Without really realizing it.
To hear her talk about how “good” things are, it breaks my heart.
It’s so easy for us to sell every ounce of our soul to the demon that is intoxication