Ramit Sethi on Couples' Finances: Live a Rich Life, Together

Ramit Sethi understands how headstrong the FI community can be, especially towards couples' finances. While we all are busy optimizing our budget, reinvesting dividends, and contributing to our retirement accounts, do we ever take a step back and ask, “why are we saving so much?” Maybe you have a simplistic answer for this: your kids, your spouse, your “future”. When it comes time to finally reap the rewards of all that saving and investing, we struggle, and often fail to do so.

Ramit is the author of "I Will Teach You To Be Rich", has struggled with this in his personal life as well. When he got married, he and his wife spoke about what money meant to them, and they were shocked to have completely different answers. While Ramit loves setting up models and spreadsheets, he also encourages couples to speak about their finances through a shared vision. It isn’t “I’m saving this money so we can be happy”, it’s “WE are saving this money so we can take that camping trip we always dreamed of.”

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Episode #243

[edwardlee]

This was so beautiful. I can't even believe this kind of a genuine moment even still exists on YouTube. The vulnerability, the journey that Mindy just went through in reflecting on her invisible script of saving saving saving is something I can only hope to finally get my parents to experience.

[MissDanielsonMath]

I am the lower earner and I really aprciate the acknowledgement of the lower earners constant concern about being able to contribute. My husband and I have a joint account just for house expenses and our own seperate accounts for everything else and its the best for us. I am a saver and he spends for the both of us. I am "reponsible" and he makes sure we are both happy and comfortable and we both feel increadibly fortunate.

[arianam.winder]

Mindy could do professional voice overs. She's good! We love you Mindy. Thanks for your openness.

[tlshachar]

One of your best shows... Mindy, loved your willingness to go along and being open. Thank you for another great show

[cleanasdirt]

My wife and I do this regarding our finances.
When we get our pay cheque, we put a set percentage towards our joint accountant, a percentage towards our separate vehicle account, a percentage to investment (retirement) and the remaining $$ towards our separate personal accounts.
The vehicle account we each have is like a car payment. We keep our vehicles approximately 4 yrs. So for 4 yrs we are putting money away for that time, so when it comes to purchasing a new vehicle, we have the cash plus trade in, so in a way, no car payments.
It works very well for us. The separate personal account, allows us to buy anything we want, as it’s our own money.

[hrhsophiathefirst]

So powerful, thanks for taking one for the team Mindy! Changing from saving to spending is a slow process but as long as you can focus on the things you want to spend on it gets easier!

[rowddyone]

Been married 20 years since age 21, combined finances day 1, and we r like Mindy, if one if us wants something we discuss, and if it’s not in budget it’s not in budget. As long as spending doesn’t interfere with long term vision doesn’t matter.

[kevowsk]

An eye opening and powerful episode. Mindy was vulnerable and honest about her spending & I ❤ her for it! Ramit shed light on a very important & not often talked about subject.

[michaelpeters]

That RV story was inspiring. Ramit knows his stuff.

[manawelian]

Ramit is the man, really enjoyed his commentary

[binitarai]

Wow… the best episode I have ever watched/listened to. I absolutely love it! It’s my first time commenting on YouTube. I am amazed with all of you. Mindy, you’re so courageous and Ramit is just so great.

[microsfan]

Proving that folks are still hearing about and watching this episode YEARS later. It's actually legendary. THANK YOU. Many in BP MMM bogleheads FI communities can totally relat to Mindy's mindset. But also very happy to learn and try to embrace Ramit's point of view. Agree with many of the comments that a lot of the examples of "Rich Life" spending just doesn't appeal to Mindy and i am similar. I get Ramit though... he's trying to get us to think about hiw we could amp up the pleasure and contentment by blowing some of this money we'va ccumupated before we're too old or dead!! I could have $10's of millions and still not care about hotels that cost over $200. I might try hiring a photographer but would definitely conpare it to a tripod and doubt i'd find it valuable enough to do over and over. I would hike or bike or climb or shower in waterfalls or swim oceans all over USA and all over earth long-travelling. But most of the time i'd enjoy the simple life locally, volunteer, and spend time and staycation with friends/family.
REMEMBER retirement phases are go-go while you can (under 75), go-slow (75-85), and (if you even make it that far) 85+ is usually "no go". Enjoy while you can!!! You can do this and still be responsible. I don't want to risk going broke when I'm old ("worry free number") but also don't want to have to attach a trailer to haul all the Benjamins on my way to the grave. The Ramit-Mindy hybrid approach. The RaMindy approach ;)

[amygarza]

Thank you. Great show! Mindy, your willingness to do the exercise is invaluable for others. Super grateful!

[susandodson]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽thank you for saying, “it depends “. I hate when people say that. You are so correct people don’t want to hear that.

[lindab]

It’s likely not a coincidence that I was listening to Ramit talk on this episode while opening my Amazon package: his book 😂😂.
I’m such a huge fan of Ramit Sethi. Glad to have stumbled across this channel. Subscribed and enjoying the content.

[acilirp]

Mindy seems so out of place in this episode. I'm glad Ramit took charge and included her in the conversation. I hope she learns how to dream and how to accomplish her dreams. Its so sad that she was hesitant to express them.

[adiyana]

So much (practical) knowledge that incorporates balance, understanding, and intention. First time here and loved the host/guest dynamic. Thank you!

[SaltyTaffyFun]

My first marriage was 100% combined into a single checking account; In my second marriage (he passed four years ago) we had a joint account, each of us had a personal “do anything/no questions asked” account plus each of our business accounts. I don’t recall in either of those very longterm relationships (I’m 75) EVER having a disagreement about money. I never thought about that before.

[Gingerarboledatv]

So brave, Mindy! ❤❤ The conversation made me think about my own life, too. Why am I constantly saving and when is the best time to spend? So thank you, peeps, for this amazing episode. Love from this part of the world. ❤

[rayb]

My wife and I have always pooled our money together and we have never fought over money. I guess that's rare but 25 years later we're still together. I think our way is the best way.