The Cost of Casual Relationships

// LINKS //

// COURSES //

// BOOKS //

#JordanPeterson #JordanBPeterson #DrJordanPeterson #DrJordanBPeterson #DailyWirePlus

[dawns_swan]

Our culture is revolting against maturity but complain at the consequences.

[standground]

*I never participated in causal relationships and hookup culture.* I’m 6’4, handsome according to most women. I was a star basketball player on my HS and College bball team (D2). I had my reasons for avoiding hookup culture but it’s crazy how you get scrutinized by your peers, both women and men for wanting a serious relationship; and waiting for it. My wife is the only person I’ve been with and being married means nothing to some women. I work in the corporate world and women will ask me about my wife and children and still make multiple passes of wanting me to sleep with them.

[TheBlazingEagle]

Intimacy traditionally was a sacrament to marriage and in reality is making a biological statement about the person your giving yourself to. “I’m willing to mix and carry on my bloodline with you” that’s what intimacy is inherently. People have totally glossed over that reality for the sake of impulse and convenience

[focm]

There are bad consequences to short term relationships. True information.

[Razear]

There's an important gendered difference here, which is that any woman can choose to engage in hookup culture, but most men cannot, even if they have the desire. There's only a very small cohort of men with the capacity to sleep around (<5%) because of hypergamy, and this is the segment of men that women target when seeking short-term flings. If women collectively decided to stop being promiscuous, hookup culture would be gone overnight since they control access to sex.

[hgfw]

I an ALL for family matching marriages. Myself I was extremely family oriented and wanted to be a mom and got married. And we has 4 children. The longer in marriage the more he wanted to be stepping out. Always flirting always sneaky. I was soooo overwhelmed and hated myself for being cheated on always yet was caring for our babies. Eventually we divorced and today I understand I didn't know how to vet a proper man. I really needed help. I was pure with good intentions and he turned me into sharp and distanced person. I still care for my teens nowadays and wonder how my kids will make families. I so much wish they chose wisely and the person they chose will not change overtime....bc that also happens.
I know men sometimes have it difficult but in my case I was the one at home and overwhelmed also had to always work to support finances and he was the one into casual relations meantime. It was heartbreaking. It is much easier to be alone than be cheated on. Whoever cheat they cheat on the spouse but also they cheat on the children too.
Avoid ppl who are into casual relations no matter the gender!

[tinyskeletonman]

I've hooked up with women I don't really care about before and it feels dishonest and animalistic. I don't feel like I'm doing them or myself any favors playing in the game of separating intimacy from love

I kinda consider it below my credentials now

[rjhein]

If you truly begin with the understanding that every human life - within it - holds a spark of the divine, and we are made in the image of God, (as did many of our progenitors), it changes the mode of being - ie we operate our lives differently, simply by virtue of our worldview representing the fact that we know we are divine vessels. It's a completely different conversation with someone, when you operate (in discussion) with others, in an understanding that we are not just interacting with them, but interacting with the spirit of that person (who is simply occupying their physical body) - that all persons are intrinsically valuable, rather than just a clump of cells (which "science" wants us to believe). No wonder the world is such a screwed up place.

[smo]

I am a woman who was, not hated, but regretted by my mother, (my siblings were/are treated as blessings) I have one adult child and miscarried four other children. I can not and will never understand parents who regret their children. It is unforgivable and grotesque to me.

[Kino_pup]

The whole way we live our lives with technology is absolutely cultivating this type of behavior. Traditional will never be a thing again just because of the technology itself existing

[yowwwwie]

what do y'all think of this: recently I was in my favorite bar on Saturday night...a great 150yr old building w a saddle up to the bar feeling. There were a group of 4 young ladies..one of whom had a stroller with the shade guard pulled down so far i didn't know exactly who/what was in it except for a couple of tiny human feet extending from the bottom. The child appeared to be around toddler age. As I watched the "mother" would occasionally nudge the stroller, but did not interact w the child in any way. Soon I noticed that the child had an iPhone in hand and was moving it around as a light or viewing something, but not typing on it. I must of watched for around 20 minutes while this was happening and felt increasingly uncomfortable....I wanted to go over and play peek a boo or something just to ...what??....connect on some level with this little human. 
What is going on w mothering these days....?
יוי

[nopenope]

I'm a Single 31 year old man who has been chatting with women online since 11. And online dating since about 19/20. It's become catastrophic since about the mid 2010s. Social media has really destroyed women. They all go for the hottest guys. But don't realize they are NOT the hottest girls because of how much attention they get. It's really ruining dating. I'm terrified for the future because I know societies burn to the ground when men can't have wives.

[brianmaloney]

There can be good and bad consequences to short term/casual relationships, just as there are good and bad consequences to committed relationships.

Choose wisely which you engage in and with whom.

Unfortunately, I have several friends - middle aged men - in long-term loveless and sexless marriages and they're miserable...choose wisely.

[barendkamperman]

As a gay man, I at first bought into the casual sex lie. I came to realize that sex without intimacy or responsibility devalues everyone. Some of us don't buy into selfish, narcissistic attitudes toward sex, our partner, or the privilege of raising a happy family.

[firouz]

The problem arises when people who are willing and able to do high investments 
meet people who mostly are low investors!
Does Mr. Peterson has solution for that?

[Nekrist._.]

The fact that short term "relationship" exists means that people don't understand the importance of family. They often say something like "Oh, I like casual sex and I want a family in the future". This "in the future" starts always now. Casual sex is not fun, especially for me, because I am a woman. It feels empty, meaningless. There are plenty other things that can be fun

[sharisimonehampton]

Jordan hits this right on target! More factual than most want to admit. So sad, but true. Thanks, sir. 😉👍❤

[dralexzero]

From Middle French casuel, from Late Latin cāsuālis (“happening by chance”), from Latin cāsus (“event”) (English case), from cadere (“to fall”) (whence English cadence).

for example the alteration of the meaning of the word 'casual' as it is currently understood by those who speak your specific fallen subdialect of english.

[AFlemPen]

Honestly romantic relationships have always been problematic because they dominate over every other type of relationship: friendship, parenthood, family relations, community, etc

[johnmaus]

I totally agree. Two of my kids are like this. They have really destroyed a good family. Its disgusting.