How to write BELIEVABLE INSTA-LOVE

Insta-love: one of the most highly-hated tropes in romance. Most readers and writers HATE IT and try to avoid it at all costs. But here's my question: is ALL insta-love bad? Or are we simply doing it wrong?

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[lovethestars_lovethemoon]

I honestly didn't realize tangled only took place in two days... that's crazy I'm shook

[bri]

Me: Slow burn is my absolute favourite trope
Also me: *has Tangled and Titanic as two of my all-time favourite movies*

[vivianwilliams]

I think the closest we get to love at first sight in real life is when a loving parent sees their child for the first time.

[BooksNChili]

Man, all your references to Tangled makes me want to go back and watch it with a critical eye

[santanasg]

The worst thing about insta- love is that you can literally feel it's all about physical attraction, and the writer ad characters getting confused with "true love".

[HEISADOPPHIN]

Using Tangled (aka my favorite Disney princess movie) to illustrate this is PERFECT!

The concept of emotional progress being more important than time makes so much sense!

[IxiaRayne]

Woah. You‘re right. Tangled is an insta love. WHY DIDN’T I EVER NOTICE THAT?!
But I guess you explained exactly that. I love love love tangled. I laugh and sigh and cry with this movie. I think it‘s so highly underrated in the Disney universe.

Thank you for this Video, Abbie!
I actually took notes from this AND you made me realize that I should mention a certain fact about my couples relationship earlier in my story. In my plot it‘s worked in right at the end, but I think it‘s something that could show the growing trust between my characters, if it‘s mentioned way earlier. AND it would help my pacing! If I think about it - it will be going to a place within my novel that somewhat felt rushed. If I add this moment it‘s going to feel much better.

AH! I‘m excited. You helped my novel a lot right there ♥

[roohvarz]

I am writing a story of two people falling in love while waiting for their train and I was thinking how to do it right then I remembered Abbie has a video on insta-love and yay here I am. Thanks a lot!

[meganmccullough]

Woahhh I've never thought of insta-love (or Tangled) like that. Thank you again for another awesome video!

[kreepykittycreations]

Anyone else thinking of Kristoff in Frozen? 😅 " you got engaged to someone you just met that day??" 😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣 omg, Tangled was such a great example!!! Thank you so much - your videos are amazing ☺

[JessiTheBestiGaming]

I was with my husband for a month before he proposed. We got married after 3 months and we've been married for almost 8 years now 🥰🥰 it was INTENSE. It just felt... Right.

[Heothbremel]

This is a great breakdown, thanks (much belatedly)!

Short form true story:
My grandparents were passing by each other in the same military base without ever having talked to each other, my grandfather saw her and told his friends that my grandmother was the one he would marry, they dated for a week, and then he introduced her to his mom as his fiancee over a phone call. She agreed, and they were married for 60 years, until his death.
IDK if it was insta love, but it was the closest I've ever heard about....

[meerkatnip]

What particularly bothers me is when characters confess their love without ME knowing the other person beyond a relatively small layer of their life/personality. I think that you don't have to specifically show/tell about all the conversations and situations in which they learned about the other's skills/tragedies/... but I think you definitely NEED to let the reader/viewer know the character. If I myself don't even know or understand one or the other or either character I won't feel engaged with the story because it seems like it is purposely withholding relevant information from me and then maybe creating conflict that I won't engage with because they haven't given me the relevant information to build expectations and to really understand what the conflict consists of. I hope this is understandable :D
TL;DR: I think that even if it is technically believable that the characters went through a process of getting to know each other, some stories still exclude the reader/viewer from this process to a degree that essential aspects of an arising conflict become incomprehensible and unengaging.

[razanjalloul]

Can we just appreciate how helpful and relatable her videos are! ❤️

[edenmckinley]

Thank you! Someone finally said the number one truth of writing: all you need are realistic characters. I watch fantasy and sci-fi movies all the time, and I can swallow a surprising amount of nonsensical plot convenience and poor world building, but if a character does not act like a real person or they act out of character, I explode.

[TedMattos]

Great job, Abbie! :) For me, one of the classic examples of "Insta-Love" is the movie Titanic. Granted, it took longer than two days for Jack and Rose to fall in love, but not many more! And yet, as you talked about, we didn't care about the timeline; we just wanted to see them be successful and live!

[MissRuthina]

I got married within 3 months! Does this count? Lol

[racheee]

I'm writing a short story that pretty much takes place over 2 or 3 days. I want my story to be instalove but without the cringe lol. Somehow it still comes across as instalust but your videos are helping transform my story. Thank you so much!

[ecstasycheese]

It's really good advice irl too! It isn't about how long the relationship is, it's about the emotional progress that these two people undergo, it's about how and why they choose to fight for the chance of a lifetime :>

[elizabethbennett]

Love Tangled. I always knew it was insta-love but it never bothered me because it got all the right points you mentioned to make it believable. My sister and I have a couple stories with characters where one is instantly in love with the other but it is left to the reader to see that. You don’t have to literally tell us they’re “in love.” I agree that the emotional progress makes or breaks insta-love. Even in a 90 minute movie or in a 2 and a half hour movie, like Wonder Woman, I need to be able to see the progress being made towards them falling in love. Some of my favorite insta-love are Buffy and Angel and Wonder Woman and Steve Trevor from the movie, who I believe fall in love in not more than 3 days.