5 Tips for Writing Enemies-to-Lovers Romance

Enemies to lovers: everyone's favorite romance trope. As a hopeless romantic, I love watching two characters clash and fight and threaten to stab each other for 300 pages only to discover by the end of the story that they actually CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT EACH OTHER. However... there’s nothing worse than a hate-to-love romance that feels rushed or unearned because the author didn’t take the time to craft a realistic, compelling, and emotional journey of change for this fictional couple. That's why, in today's video, I'm sharing 5 SIMPLE TECHNIQUES that will take your enemies-to-lovers romance to the next level and make your readers fall in love. 😍

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✨T I M E S T A M P S✨
00:00 Writing hate-to-love romance?
01:43 1. Give them a meet-hate to remember
03:19 2. Force them to problem-solve together
04:40 3. Don't skip the midpoint friendship
06:04 You're invited to a special live training!
08:42 4. Make them jealous
10:05 5. Create conflicts and obstacles to keep them apart
11:29 Want to dive deeper into enemies-to-lovers romance?
12:31 Subscribe for weekly writing videos :)
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✨ V A L U A B L E R E S O U R C E S✨

MORE VIDEOS YOU WOULD LIKE:

→ HOW TO WRITE SWOON-WORTHY SLOW-BURN ROMANCE

→ HOW TO WRITE BELIEVABLE INSTA-LOVE

→ HOW TO STAY MOTIVATED TO WRITE YOUR NOVEL

→ MY CHAPTER-BY-CHAPTER OUTLINING METHOD

✨F O L L O W ✨

✨ A B O U T ✨
My name is Abbie Emmons I teach writers how to make their stories matter by harnessing the power and psychology of storytelling, transforming their ideas into a masterpiece, and creating a lifestyle that makes their author dreams come true.

Story isn’t about “what happens” — it’s about how what happens affects and transforms the characters. I believe that there is an exact science (a recipe, if you will) behind a perfect story. And if you know what ingredients you need, you can create your own perfect story with ease and confidence. That’s what we talk about every week on this channel – and if it’s something you’re into, be sure to subscribe and join this community!

[mcgradyazul]

Something about the chemistry of enemies turned to lovers is just 😭🥵❤️

[katelynchase]

My favorite thing ever in enemies to lovers is if they admit their feelings through a heated argument. The build up to the line “BECAUSE I LOVE YOU DAMMIT” following with a sappy recap of everything that they love about the other from the beginning of knowing them to now while the other is just dumbfounded FILLS ME WITH A SOUL I AM LACKING

[kassandra]

Does anyone else click on Abbie’s videos scared that you’re going to have to rewrite your entire book because you’ve done everything wrong only to discover that you’ve done everything right? And it’s the best feeling ever?

Also I laughed in a fair amount of places in this video because Abbie’s little rants about enemies to lovers were so on point 😂 especially at 5:08

[woodlandlady]

3. Don't skip the midpoint friendship! Boom! This one really irks me too, Abbie!

[GeorgiaPeach]

OH MY GOSH—I'm literally writing an enemies-to-lovers romance! I've been scouring the internet for ways to make it more believable and emotional. I've read so many comments on Abbie's videos that say "this came along at the perfect moment"—now I know what they mean.
Thank you so, so, so much for making this, Abbie! ❤

[trebaneconapise]

my first book was an enemies-to-lovers and i actually wrote down notes for future reference in case i forget how to do it next time :D (haven't finished the video yet so it might overlap with some of abbie's tips; note that it won't work for all dynamics, it's specifically more annoyed-to-lovers, but still should work in some form)

1. *Empty threats.* For example, one is a criminal and the other is a cop. the cop keeps saying they'll catch and arrest the criminal and the criminal always says they'll kill the cop. both of them learn through time that the other won't really do it but they never complain about it because the threats have become some sort of an inside-joke. bonus points if there comes a point when an external force (like the police or the criminal's gang) tell their person to arrest/kill the enemy and all of a sudden, they don't want to and make up ten thousand excuses for it on the spot. extra bonus points if the enemy tells them it's ok because if there's a way they want to die or get justice, it's by the hand of the enemy they're in love with.

2. *Annoyance on both sides.* I mean, if they don’t hate each other or at least aren’t annoyed by each other, it’s not really enemies to lovers, is it?

3. They should *find each other attractive or endearing* in some ways from the beginning. Yeah, things like „oh, you think you’re cool and handsome in that leather jacket, huh?“ „yeah, actually i do.“ „well i think you… don’t." (narrator: it was a lie.)

4....and be *in denial about it.* Denial is a big part of the dynamic and an important ingredient for good banter if you want your audience to have fun. You hate the other person, stop staring at their eyes! When the relationship moves forward and the two get to know each other and become more comfortable with each other, they can still be in denial, believing that the other still hates them or at least that they couldn’t actually like them back, which creates more drama if you want to put off the two of them getting together. Or, if you want the sexual tension to overflow one day and the two of them to just throw it away, get railed and immediately get together, that’s fun too. :D

Maybe it only works for fanfiction or stories where you already know the characters will get together, maybe not for some romantic subplots in a fantasy where you don't necessarily see it coming, but I know from experience the glee reading the parts where characters are absolutely smitten with each other but wouldn't admit it under torture give me. :D

[RustinMarkJandongan]

my favorite part to enemies to lovers is when they're in the early stage of friendship where they'll insult each other but you can clearly feel they no longer meant it and just pretending to hate each other... kinda comes off as playful instead of hate???

[m.k.]

My favorite part about enemies to lovers is probably that enemies take each other serious at all times. They might hate each other but they are equals knowing that they shouldn't underestimate the strength of their opponent.

[leonmayne]

I'm currently writing a rivals-to-friends character relationship at the moment (they don't absolutely hate each other at the beginning, they just don't get along, and they're not in love by the end but they do have an extremely close friendship) but a lot of this advice is applicable to that.

[joannaholden]

My favorite Shakespeare play was always Much Ado About Nothin - cause it's the ultimate enemies to lovers story! If you don't know the story, I'd highly recommend reading a summary of it, or even the play itself, and studying just how masterfully Shakespeare brought two characters who love hating each other to a place where they can't live without each other. ❤❤

[iangallagher]

Me struggling with how to write a believable enemies to lovers story. Also me: I wish Abbie uploads another enemies to lovers writing advice. AND HERE IT IS🎉❤

[mm]

I need a whole series of you talking about romance!!!!❤

[Isaias-]

Recently I read pride and prejudice, and wow, how Jane Austen managed to create such an amazing enemies-to-Lovers! Thanks for the valuable tips, Abbie, you are amazing!!

[Louis_Ostrinsky]

I just think, when you have an enemies-to-lovers relationship then there is more than just a crush. It is more of "I started to know so much about this person, that my hatred for them turned into compassion, empathy, or even love" which I find very romantic. Just my opinion on it. It just feels like raw love if someone can follow. Tension and compassion is just very exciting to read, for me at least.

[chase_verse]

THIS IS SO HELPFUL. Im a young author (well... idk if you'd call me that) and im writing a queer enemies to lovers story and this REALLY helped me realise the flaws in my planning. This story has a lot of potential, (academic rivals, petty challenges, coming to terms with sexuality, homophobia while being bunked together at camp) and I really dont want to botch it, so I watched this and im so pleased I did. I have rethought a big chunk of the book, and im actually happy with the ending now (I wasnt before, it ended as though it needed a sequal and I wanna move on with other books rather than make pt2) so tysm! I hope this turns out a bit better now!

[katiemarie]

Love this! I'm writing an enemies-to-lovers fantasy about an assassin and a lord that hates criminals who have to team up and ugh watching them go from "I despise you" to "you're not actually so bad" to "I love you" is so beautiful! 😍😭The friendship midpoint is so important. So many times I see an enemies-to-lovers where like you said they jump straight from hating to loving and it's just so unbelievable.

[AdrianArmbruster]

So what I found helped, especially for a slow burn, is to have sort of a Venn Diagram of 'enemies' and 'lovers' -- they're enemies for the first half, lovers for the second, and for a bit in the middle, they're both.

[SpuunSpong]

I love forbidden relationships!!! EHEH I love it when these characters aren’t allowed to be in each other’s vicinity because NO THEYRE NOT LIKE US ❤️😍💖💔🥰

[idkb]

When I saw Elizabeth Bennett I said "Mr.Darcy" and love u Abbie. When I don't have any writing inspiration I go to u

[CookiehsAndDreams]

Another huge thing I wish I saw more of in enemies to lovers romances is *HEALTHINESS*. Take Pride & Prejudice for instance. Darcy was callous and demeaning to Lizzie, but he never forced himself upon her and ended up taking immense accountability for his actions. Lizzie did also when she apologized for her own pride.