This Homeless Way by Jonathan Russell

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This Homeless Way (2018)
for Bb clarinet and Bb bass clarinet
Commissioned by the Égide Duo: Joshua Gardner, clarinet and Stefanie Gardner, bass clarinet
Inspired by the poetry of Jacob Folger

Recorded live at the Glendale Community College Performing Arts Center by David Thibodeaux on 23 September 2018.

People."

- Jon Russell

I. A Shiver Is All
By Jacob Folger

Summer drops off to Autumn
Leaves change and blow free
Days darken early
A shiver is all

A clear cold night
Wind whistling through trees
Frost keeping me up
A shiver is all

A cold dank stairwell
One blanket not two
No pillow for my head
A shiver is all

A sweet Christmas home
Cozy and warm
Comfort completely
But for me, a shiver is all

II. Am I Invisible?
By Jacob Folger

People pass me by
I must not be here
Sitting alone, down and out
No one will come near.

No gaze from another
No concern for me
I am completely by myself
On this cold street.

In the Morning I wake
From my Homeless sheets
Where I slept the night before
Should I even call it sleep?

Homeless I am
Forgotten by the world
Am I invisible?
Am I invisible?

This Homeless Way
By Jacob Folger

It has been years and years and years since I left that awful life
The freezing cold, the sweaty hot, being lost in time
The isolation, the loneliness, am I not even of this earth?
Will my life ever have meaning? What will it ever be worth?

I had not bathed myself in so many, many months
My clothing was so filthy, man I surely must have stunk
Everything I owned in the world was within my very reach
This life I had not chosen had completely taken over me.

Terrible fears plagued me, would I lose my little spot?
No one must know I’m living here, absolutely not
I had to hide my life from the world, of which I was not a part
This whole life I was living was hurting me a lot.

It took so many years before I landed on my feet
Still could I walk among the world? Was I really free?
Yes, I guess I have a home I can almost call my own
But even though, it is all still, so very bitter sweet.

So now I do have a home but there is little change in me
I still have the homeless habits, that homeless mentality
I think I will, in some way, always feel I’m still on the street
Do other former homeless people feel the same as me?

So if you know me now, if you see the same clothing day to day
For some reason It is difficult to even want to bathe
And I worry about tomorrow, If I still will have a home
Please know I am trying, it is hard to change this homeless way.