How to know when a friendship is over | breakups, red flags, grief

📷 WHAT I FILM WITH

💖 LET'S CONNECT

🕓 TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Friendship breakups are a part of life
01:37 Friendship red flags
01:45 Your energy is drained around them and they don't celebrate your success
03:31 They disappear when they enter a relationship
05:09 They don't appreciate and value you for who you are
06:36 They aren't honest with you, or themselves
08:32 You're not growing together, you're growing apart
10:51 How do you end a friendship?
13:44 Grief is part of the process

DISCLAIMER
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[mejulialee]

What friendship red flags have you experienced? How did you know it was time to move on, and how have you ended friendships?

[glaufigueiredo]

Thank you for the reminder. It’s hard not to feel guilty or unfair about terminating a friendship that’s making you uncomfortable to be with.

[ghosthost]

2014: I was the worst version of myself. Despite this I had lots of friends/connections.
2024: I am the best version of myself, but my friends connection has shrunk.

[bieber]

This has honestly been the best video. It’s been very rocky with my best friend of 8 years. Since last year, it’s been starting to feel like a draining friendship instead of an uplifting one.

[furia]

In 2020, I was the most toxic version of myself, but at the same time, I had a lot of "friends" and was part of many friend groups. I think, in total, I kept in touch with over 30 people at the time. It's crazy, though, because now, after finally growing to a point where I can say I feel at peace with myself and can be a good and supportive friend, I talk to like, 5 people at most.

[WillGrey]

I feel so seen about the best friend thing! In my experience, the folks who obsess about having a best friend/put people on pedestals tend not to live up to the expectations they’ve set for others. I believe that you have to be willing to give others the things you seek — aka if you want to have healthy/trustworthy friendships you have to be a healthy, trustworthy person!

A title is just a title at the end of the day. Your character and how you treat people is what matters most

[aridian]

Very well done!👏👏👏👏🇺🇸. I could add a little to this, being in my 60’s now. Beware! The people you like, trust and depend on in your youth probably WILL NOT be the same people you value in middle-age and beyond. This is bound to be tough for young people to grasp but, YOU ARE NOT the same person, at 45, that you were at 19. There’s a phenomenon seldom talked-about but once in a while you’ll hear it mentioned in an old cliche’, “Life begins at 40.” The reason is, that’s when you’re a finished product. I could add that you’ll most-likely meet the more-quality, mature, trustworthy people in the 40-plus crowd. I speculate that it’s because we no longer give a damn about social cliques and we’re weary of playing “Chameleon” and posing and posturing for approval. It’s just flat easier to locate your peers once you can see what you and they “have become”, as opposed to what you and they “will become.” If you progress normally, you’ll almost certainly outgrow the friendships of your youth.

[vonniemichelle]

If you can be honest, you can get through all the trivial crap. But if honesty cannot be expressed, forget it. Move on.

[souljagirl.anonymous]

I knew my friendship was over when I realised she was using me and my time and energy and intuition and care, and once I stopped trying to contact her she didn’t contact me for nearly two weeks, during those two weeks I was already realising why I felt so bad everytime we hung out and why I felt so insecure. Which then I realised it was over…. I’m still waiting for her to call so I can tell her I don’t want to be friends anymore

[BelovedLatte]

My red flag 🚩 is when you're in a really hard time and need at least a comforting word, but your 'close friend' choose to mock you so you tell her to stop doing that because I'm serious now, she ghosted on you after that. No text, no call and yet no apologize.

[ixneinno]

A friend of mine keeps doing this every time she is in a relationship— doing it again. I told her that I am not interested in being friends and good luck in her next handful attempts with the guys she is seeing. I don’t want to hear anything or be around her anymore.

[Leenu.]

I relate a lot to many of the things you've mentioned here. I think friends definitely come and go since life can lead us to different paths, and that's ok. In my case, I always connect better with ppl with whom I have many things in common plus we're both at a similar point of personal development. Even now I'm grieving over old friendships I don't connect with the same way I did. I think that's because those friends seem to be stuck in the past, progress in their personal development is very hard to recognize even after 15 years of knowing them. And we still see each other and it's like the first time we've met, we still care for each other, but we're in very different stages of life. It's like we don't have much in common anymore, not even goals or ideals. I'd love to keep those friendships for the good old times, but it's also sad to see how we don't connect the same way anymore.

[bunnyb]

I’m in my 30’s and now realize I’m the type where i prefer a lunch/coffee date friend a few times a year.

[JJ-dwlo]

I'm a man and was wandering about ending a friendship. Most content is from females and i can't relate to that but you seem real!

[Mohammedbasim-fqqu]

i don't know what happened to him, he went defensive and negative after a time of calmness, he never stop attacking my decisions, i detached from this friendship and i don't expect anything to get better but i miss the past him.

[Heythere]

Is a friendship a red flag when they say “I bought you something so you should buy me something.” How about that friend that cuts you off a year and then come back a year and asks you for favor? I feel like I can’t be honest around these people?

[Shts-nh]

I think people will come and go in our life like seasons change and when their purpose is over they'll leave

[viivoid]

Thankyou so much this was so fkn helpful!!

[MWear-xt]

It's weird, you can be supper happy for someone when they get something/somewhere they wanted, but have one thing you are envious of. If they worked hard for something, you even feel proud of them for achieving it. I found myself being envious when there was something I strived for for years and my friend who happens to have way more money (which I am proud of her for earning and think she deserves) was able to do the one thing I've been trying to do for half my life, but did not have the means, on a whim. She never even had the idea to do it until I told her about it, then she did it just like that, and I am years and years away from the possibility. I feel guilty because I know I should not feel envious. I'm happy for her for everything else, just not this one thing. I told her I didn't want her to talk about it because it was too painful for me. Am I a bad friend?

[thabouba]

Hello I am a high school student and I really need your help I have researched a lot in my topic but I did not find anything similar on the Internet
My luck is always to have very high friends who hate me and do not care about me, although I am nice and beautiful and my grades are good, and because I do not always bear what I cut my relationship with those who harm me, and now I literally cut my relationship with 13 friends in the past, and now I got a new girlfriend, and after 6 months she started treating me badly, really, I am supposed to cut my relationship with her, but I am afraid, I will stay completely alone without colleagues, even all of them have become my enemies and plot me I am very tired and hopeless from friends