How to Break the cycle as a Daughter of a Narcissistic parent

Here is the link to all my best resources:

chapters
00:00 Intro
00:57 Growing up with unhealed emotional wounds
01:46 Constructing walls around your heart
02:58 You struggle to recognise the true meaning of love
03:43 You sacrifice yourself and conceal your emotions
05:11 Channeling your resilience and strength

[narcabusecoach]

Here is the link to all my best resources:

[joyphillips]

So true. My mother was a narcissist and taught my brother to become one also. I was the one growing up thinking " why can't she be my mother too" as I was often neglected while my brother got everything he wanted from her. I desperately wanted to have mother/ daughter time like I so often saw my friends had, but she never wanted to do anything fun with me. I now see why... I was her servant... she treated me like one; constantly taking care of her, cooking food, etc.... Me thinking I could show her I was valuable too.

[janfisher]

Danish, I am daughter of narcissistic parents. My sister just asked me why I kept picking the same man. I tried to protect my younger sister growing up. Thank you for your help.

[aleigha]

The daughter here 🙋‍♀️ I connected with every single thing you said. Thank you! I just recently really realized that not only does my mother have mental health issues, but she is definitely narcissistic. I’m 51 years old and am finally FINALLY doing the work to heal from the trauma this has caused me all my life. I’ve been in therapy for over 25 years bc of my abusive traumatic childhood, but never saw her as narcissistic. Well about 4 months ago my eyes were opened! I’m trying to do the work to heal from THAT specific pain and abuse. Your videos are helping tremendously. I appreciate all you do!

[mariaridler]

I’m the daughter of a narc mum. Your videos help me to understand myself and what I need to do to heal. I can’t thank you enough Danish 😊

[Indrani_Mukherjee]

I'm the daughter! Thanks for the video, it helped me.

[KatYah-cnhx]

So very true. I rarely saw my mother cry. She believed in faking it until you make it. So in turn, she did not accept people crying around her. I see now, she learned this from her own mom who avoided the fact that my mother was violated repeatedly by a family member. I remember when I was a child, and I felt pity for special needs children in my grandmother's class. I saw them and almost began to cry. My grandmother suddenly stared at me with a very cold and slightly angry stare. As if to say "You'd better not cry." I remember her stern eyes burning me with a harsh glare. Needless to say, I immediately sucked it up and did as my grandmother said. My mother at times, raised me the way her mother raised her. Cold and hard hearted. 😮😢😮

[margolane]

I remember acting out and screaming at my mother when I was around 5 just so she would make eye contact with me. She was yelling at me but I felt like I wasn't invisible when she looked at me.

[jtb]

My mother constantly TOLD me that I was too needy! She had no time, or patience for me. I felt like Cinderella, despite my parents being my real parents. They were both narcissists, and my brother and I were the slaves of the family. My sisters could do no wrong, and they are extremely narcissistic.

I married a narc - he also expected me to take care of his every want, and I stayed 33 years. I have no desire to remarry. I can take care of my own needs, and I’m so much happier on my own, than I’ve ever been. My daughters treated me as bad as my husband did, but 7 years after my divorce, they’ve finally figured out what a monster their father is. I worry about them, and hope they can break the narcissistic cycle. At least they know what a narcissist is. Their father lost me as his source of supply, so he tried to make them, his source. When his demands became to extreme, they cut him off. He played us against each other, but now, most days, they treat me with kindness. They still suffer the scars, and slip into old patterns. They still need to heal their own wounds.

[Amanda-ncyk]

I grew up with a covert, narcissist mother, who is constantly tearing me down. She would start fights with me as a teenager, and then, if I defended myself, she would play the victim and tell the rest of the family how awful I was. I could not figure out why she hated me so much, and why my feelings were never Worth anything, and why everything I said, resulted in an argument. And then when I was about 30 I read a book by a woman who had a similar situation with her mother. She said that at one point in her life, she realize her mother never had any interest in knowing her as a person. So she stops sharing herself with her mother. That was an eye-opener for me. At that moment, I realized my mother was so angered by me because she never wanted to know me in the first place. So I stopped defending myself. I stop speaking up for myself. I made myself smaller so she could feel better. And that was when we started “getting along “ . But now, 15 years later, I’m realizing that that was worthless. I’m starting to speak up again and tell her that she’s abusive. Every time I see her, she tells me how every friend I have hates me, every boyfriend I’ve ever had has been using me, my grandmother didn’t love me, I’m stupid. Things like that. I used to think that I had to put up with it because she was my mother and people my age don’t just stop speaking to their parents. But now I’m thinking this is the only option. She doesn’t care about my feelings, she just treats me like an unwanted toy that she’s not allowed to throw away.

[tarey]

Yes, Danish; this is my story. My covert narc mom could never be pleased nor satisfied with much of anything in her life, though I knew her story which often made me feel sad for her. It took me years to learn that making her happy was not my job. Early on and throughout, I would always draw men who were unavailable to me, either married, still with an ex-gf, secretly gay. I refused to deal with married men from the onset and justifiably rejected many as a result. Those with exes were never truly free from the drama of the old relationship, while my "gay-dar" alerted me just in time that I was serving as a cover for his true sexuality. It's been a deeply painful and confusing journey and in hindsight such a tragic waste of time and energy. In the end, I learned to turn inward to love and be compassionate with myself; after all, I am all I have. Thank u for ur beautifully moving and healing words here, Danish. I deeply appreciate you! ❤😢

[heatherc]

I am the daughter, and I needed to hear this today. Thank you so much Danish for your helpful thoughts and insights.

[goddesslr]

My mom. She always tells a story of being a young adult, about to go to school, looking in the closet for something to wear and someone hits her hard in the back of the head...to the point that she literally saw stars...turned around and thought she'd see her mom's boyfriend, but it was her mom. Luckily, and thankfully her mom died when my mom was 16 and I never met her. The damage IS done...she trained my moms niece (moms only sister daughter) to be just like her, worse...the matriarch of the family. That's who came for me, tried to destroy my natural confidence and esteem. When I think of Narc women, I think of a suction black hole. Im a woman whose had horrible relationships with men, but Narc women ARE THE WORST. They're cancerous. I feel for men dealing with them.

SN: MY moms sister and her oldest child died at 34...one of alcohol poisoning and one of cancer. Narcs (especially women in my life) ruin anything and everyone. Im 37 and determined to turn this shit around. A struggle but I was born for this purpose.

[monicarai]

Thank you sooo much Danish for talking about this. I really needed to hear this. All my life that woman tortured me. I'm glad at this stage I have my girl with me and I'm always going to be the mother to her that I never had. Thank you SOOO much for validating this. You don't know what you've done for so many of us. God bless.

[missy]

It’s amazing how they treat the sons different to the daughters. Jealousy straight up 🆙

[martinahavelkova]

Thank you, Danish, for all your work. Its highly appreciated. We need to become our own parents which we never had. Stop putting everybody else first, blaming ourselves for not meeting unreal expectations. Seeing trough all the lies and manipulations, dropping all fake promised dreams is hard, but its the path to healing. Only the truth set us free, not toxic positivity and sugarcoating everything.

[alisonblackburn]

How do you know all of this, it's amazing. Everything you present is so right on. My mother was never there for me. So hard to fathom and not to take personally.

[SpriyaK]

Narcissistic mothers literally destroys your identity, your authentic self, I remember when I started my healing journey it was so difficult for me to look at myself in the mirror as it is, As I used to see myself thinking how others will see me especially my partner, I was struggling to look at myself without thinking about anyone else.

This is really Unfortunate!

[anne]

It’s almost too painful to face this truth. Thank you for your kindness and hopeful message Danish.

[MsThe]

"causing you to wilt like a delicate flower deprived of sunlight" I can relate to that so much.