Best of the Worst: Battle of the Genres

Florps Hoggenwarsch once said, “The day four men in their forties spend a lovely afternoon with each other participating in such infallible and wasteful follies instead of putting in a hard days work, well that’s the day I put a pistol in my mouth!” Florps Hoggenwarsch was one of the literary giants of his time (1802 – 1842) as well as a notable cultural critic and observationist. Florps did indeed put a pistol in his mouth whence-forth he discovered that four of his dearest friends spent a lovely afternoon in 1842 reading aloud and mocking amateur books and poems to the enjoyment of a small crowd of other failures. The crowd consisted of toothless town-folk, drunkards, ex-convicts, perverted men, and failed politicians (some crossover) along with some very smart animals. As Florps friends read passages aloud from the failed poets and aspiring novelists of the time, the crowd laughed loudly and chewed on raw potatoes. They threw cornhusks and flatulated freely. These four men (friends of Florps) were in their element though. Having failed miserably at most of life’s endeavors, they found solace (and success) at mocking the attempts of others. They brought much joy to those peasants while they chewed baked wormroot vegetables and picked at their teeth with fish bones. When Florps discovered what his four very dearest friends were doing he was aghast! For Florps, you see, was a highly respected author having published many works including “A Summer Dreary”, “Whistling Willows” and the highly acclaimed “When a Man loves a Small Boy”. Florps knew his career was in danger if HE was ever associated with such ghoulish events. He had two options, take out his pistol and end the lives of his four friends or turn that pistol on himself. He, of course, chose the latter. In the rear of the crowd he made his presence known. “Here Ye! Here Ye!” he shouted. “For I am Florps Hoggenwarsch! And in my last words I proclaim… ‘Those that can’t do! Make YouTube videos!” he then shot himself with his pistol. A silence fell over the crowd as his body fell to the Earth with a resounding thud. The event continued on without any further interruptions. After the show Florps body was placed on a horse cart filled with cornhusks, half-eated gabbygords, manure, and the discarded literature that the townsfolk laughed at. He was buried in a paupers grave. His friends went on to live happily ever after counting their gold coins in their respective castles.

[Infinantnarwhals]

The actor who played the titular Baby was my substitute teacher several times throughout middle and high school. It is surreal seeing these three call his performance embarrassing when Mr. Mooney proudly told 11-17 year old's about it frequently.

[Gustavo_PerezRamirez]

I can't believe Mike didn't recognize the horny sister of The Baby as Marianna Hill, who played Dr. Helen Noel in the classic Star Trek episode "Dagger of the Mind." I can't believe he didn't, I cannot believe he didn't. I can not believe he didn't.

[Bacteriophagebs]

Fun fact: _The Baby_ is rated PG, the same rating as Disney's _Frozen, _ and unlike _Jaws, _ it's not because a powerful director lobbied to get it brought down from R because PG-13 didn't exist yet. The MPAA reps just watched the movie and said, "Yeah, as long as kids watch this with their parents, it'll be fine."

[jeremyshafer]

I like it how they clarified that it was actually Ron Howard’s dad in Mr No Legs, because they’ve done so many “no-name actor looks like a knock off of x famous actor” jokes over the years that I 100% thought it was a gag at first.

[HeckYep]

Rich's uncanny talent for standing completely still paired with their editing skill in freeze-framing one specific person in-frame has made me deeply unable to trust when he freezes. I love it.

[mikeminer]

"Don't watch The Baby with a date"

Oh Rich, you forget your audience.

[splatterling]

The German title of Mr. No Hands is "Zigaretten werden nachts gerollt. Meaning: "Cigarettes are rolled at night" and I think that is a glorious title.

[pepepoopsonthefarright]

the baby in 2002 would be a rob schneider vehicle

and adam sandler would play a deformed hobo in a cameo role

[AbsoluteTravisT]

For the talk on Mr. No Legs: "Ted Vollrath was born in 1934 in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Vollrath served in the US Marines and fought in the Korean war. Ted had to have both of his legs amputated because of severe injuries received in combat."

He also had a black belt in karate and at events rode in with the Mr No Legs chair and fired off blanks from the shotguns to surprise audiences.

[imyafamiliya]

28:22 - Mike putting a pillow on Rich's crotch is my favorite RLM moment of the year.

[BestLoserVS]

RLM's strange pivot to adult baby content is a twist I did see coming.

[firefly]

I love that Best of the Worst has absolutely no naming convention. Some episodes are numbered, some are given a subtitle, some are just called "battle of the genres."

[christophernerf]

There's a portrait of Jay in an attic somewhere, getting older older.

[koquarian]

"I'm giving it to the baby."
-Rich Evans, unprompted

[fshzelot]

Mike was born as an adult 100%. This was a slip on his part. Now we know the truth

[stephaneicke]

Fun fact: the music for THE BABY was written by Gerald Fried, who scored a few episodes of the originsl STAR TREK series (shout out to Mike). We at Caldera Records released the soundtrack a few years ago.

[theboogeymaniscoming]

A RLM notification is like a shot of distilled dopamine.

[MikeJones-wqpg]

I just discovered this channel a month ago and i haven't stopped binging every episode. God damn this shit is funny!

[HadesWTF]

It's nice to see Tim still stops by from time to time after he gets off from his job installing cable.

[AndrewBinder-hsbu]

If you're curious what the ending of The Baby is but don't want to watch it


SPOILERS















it turns out that the social worker's husband wasn't dead or left her, but actually reduced to having a baby's mental capacity himself from an accident and was hidden in a guest bedroom in her house. the social worker wanted Baby so that her husband would have a lifelong friend