Transformational Change: A Deeper Kind of Growth - Chapter 5

There are two types of change: incremental change, which is often slow and takes more effort to maintain, and transformational change, which can happen in a moment and is effortless to maintain. Given the benefits of the latter, this video outlines how to facilitate transformational change in therapy and in our own personal growth work.

We'll explore how an understanding of the neuroscience and therapuetic techniques of transformational change, as outlined by Bruce Ecker's Coherence Therapy, can help us to make our unconscious beliefs more conscious, and then how to pair these beliefs with experiences which disconfirm or challenge (and hopefully update!) our view of reality.

While transformational change happens in a single moment, that isn't to say it is easy. We have to be a bit strategic. Why? Because for transformational change to occur, the brain must be confronted with two very specific sources of information simultaneously.

First, what what did we learn about reality in the past. This is called reactivation. In order to reactivate the schema stored in implicit memory we must help our client to emotionally experience the learnings and memories from the past. This emotional is required to become aware of our brain's deepest beliefs about how the world works (our schemas) and to open these neural nets up for rewiring. This is not an easy task since what our brain most fervently believes is often completely unconscious to us. That's why it can be so helpful to have a skilled therapist trained in transformational therapy techniques to facilitate this reactivation process.

The second step is to notice examples from our current experience that don't align with the old map of reality that we developed in childhood. This process is called disconfirmation. When a deeply felt schema from our past is juxtaposed against a disconfirming experience from our present then the brain is forced to rewrite the schema in order to resolve this contradiction. Through updating our outdated beliefs about reality we can alter the behaviors that derive from these old beliefs and achieve deep and lasting change.

[jc]

I discovered your channel through my therapist! Everything you’re saying about coherence therapies is really clicking with me despite me not being a professional.

[bengestetner]

Thank you so much Tori, the entire series is full of well explained, essential information.

[ljkohable]

The last words you said Doctor were substantial. Paraphrasing, to get in touch with your belief from the past and realize it with the reality of the present.

[MichaelHaertel]

I've found just watching videos like this, reading self help books, or practicing these methods on their own can be disconfirmation and a form of self compassion. You are making an effort to improve your life and that's a solid form of self compassion that's easy to sit with.

[alandry]

These videos are amazing. Never before
have I been this engrossed and fascinated to watch the next one....and the next. This information is making so much sense where I was previously very confused. Very grateful to you. Thanks

[christinebrowne]

I am so glad that I came across your videos! I’m currently receiving therapy using the I FS model, and it is incredible! Having your videos to watch and just consolidate my learning and progress even more. Thank you.❤

[taylorclinton]

Tori,
This video series is amazing!
Upon completing these videos, I put my best effort into a memory re consolidation that has been limiting me for some time. I was able to come up with the evidence why it's just not true anymore and felt a shift in my body.
You do an excellent job as a guide for this material, I am very grateful you made this series.
Thank you so much, and all the best to you going forward!

[wonderersponderings]

This is brilliant. Thank you for creating this video and synthesizing all of this. Truly wonderful ❤️

[HamzaBen]

I am not sure if you are aware of the impact you are having on ppl at least for me... I am really starting to see light again in my life!! Thank you so much and may god bless you ✌🏻😊

[jenniferviolette]

This is an awesome explanation of our inner selves! I am part of 2 different Christian inner healing groups that are making this concept normal. We do it in a relationship with the Trinity. I love hearing how this works for anyone regardless of personal belief!

[dartcree]

23 min in. Bruce Ecker's index cards. This sounds like a variation on CPT. But I already have changed most of my black and white statements (Nobody, everybody...) into greys. (Few people like me. Many people see me as incompetent. I don't trust more than a few people....) Overall I don't find it helps much. The key here, from what you are saying is to recognize the exceptions, and dwell on them for 20 seconds or so.

24 min in. Reality as it is. In some cases the reality is to get out of the relationship. I can see better how the index card may make you more willing to change. As a modification of this exercise: Carry the card around. And as disconfirming events occur, write them down.

I sort of did an inverse of this when I was a boy of 14. I thought my mom was nagging me about this and that ALL THE TIME. So I started writing them down. At the end of 2 weeks, I had 4 items. So I stopped believing she nagged me all the time. Writing down instances of a belief or its disconfirmation for me is very powerfull

24 in. "No longer a child" A lot of the time I feel like I'm 'stuck' being a teenager. I still like young people better than adults, and am far more comfortable with them, and am more ready to trust them. (This worked well as a high school teacher) But then, a competent teenager is almost adult. But I still haven't figured out what I want to do when I grow up. (grin)

25 in. Could you do a video on connecting to parts. I have real trouble getting meaningful contact with them. It's all 20 questions, as I try out different notions and see what sparks resonance, except with my older parts. (A protector and a gate keeper both in their 40's sort of, although one seems ageless, older than dirt.)

26 in. Powerlessness and compassion. Feeling compassion for a part is MUCH easier than for myself. Liking a part is easier than liking Me. I have a bunch of parts that I like a lot better than I do myself. Powerlessness is more subtle than this. It's one thing to know that as a "big person" I have powers of agency to do things that I didn't have as a child. But I also don't seem to be able to use these effectively to make changes in the directions I want. In a sense I've traded external boundaries for internal ones, but I don't know how to get rid of hte internal ones.

26.5 "There's always an adult for us." Yeah. Instead of being small, and no one is there for us, we can be big and no one is there for us. Hopefully as bigger people, we don't burst into tears as easily. Sorry, but as a non-child (I don't think of myself as adult....) I don't find myself very good at giving me comfort. A big part of me feels I don't deserve comfort. Another part says comfort is too dangerous.

One of the best things about parts, is company. Even if they are as imaginary as the imaginary playmates that kids have, they help with the loneliness. I do NOT want to lose my parts.

27:46 How do you find safe, supportive communities?

29:00 I'm not spiritual, and have strong dislike/contempt for the church that gave me such hangups about sex. (Not entirely the church's fault. My parents hand a big hand in this with their silence on all things relating to sex, including setting zero romantic example.)

29:50 Sifting through life. I'm doing this. Trying to write down snippets from my childhood. The wrong things are being confirmed. Very few memories in my house in the public spaces from age about 8 to early teens. This fits in the window of probable physical abuse too.

Thanks for this video. No need to respond to this comment.

[iw]

Dr Tori, thanks very much.😅 Your calm and kind voice is very helpful ❤

[suhasiniram]

Hi Dr. Olds. I am writing this as a personal message to you. I just saw your videos. They are great. Thanks for putting them out there. I am a meditator who is also undergoing therapy for developmental trauma. I am currently at a point where I do need to work with implicit memories ... clearly.. and your teachings seem to be made for the same work. I am really grateful for what you have shared. I hope that all beings heal with such therapies. Wishing you the very best!

[Christina-otie]

Great information for people. I understood this long ago, good to refresh the knowledge and confirm what I know.
Thank you.

[tarapoloskey]

Another incredible video! SO much incredible information so well presented.

[Amanda-kfdo]

Your videos are so amazing and I’m blown away!!! I’m going to journal and ask myself these questions tonight! Thank you so much :) your videos are helping people!

[julianedesfayes]

Thank you so much for making this information intelligible and accessible to all. Much love for your work

[RupeeRoundhouse]

Fantastic stuff! I'd like to challenge the idea that rationality is not involved: Identifying feelings, thoughts, urges, and memories is rationality in action; and disconfirming with competing evidence is rationality in action. Perhaps there's a different conception of rationality here. 😀 I say that rationality is the commitment to use logic, and logic is the art of noncontradictory identification.

[davidblack]

This is absolute gold dust - please can u run for president??!

[chuckutterback]

thanks for onboarding me to this amazing potential. You have a very clear and deep ability to communicate. Much gratitude.