was I wrong about Rory Gilmore?

Was I wrong about Rory Gilmore? Here is a retrospective of her character's fall from grace, and why we're still obsessing about her twenty years later.

timestamps-
00:00 intro
02:09 so much Rory hate
12:50 perfect is boring
22:20 where Rory went wrong
36:07 conclusion

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My Rory Gilmore video (part one)

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Tags (ignore)-
of Logan Huntzberger (a Gilmore Girls analysis), deep dive, video essay, reaction, the vampire diaries, pretty little liars, gossip girl, chuck bass, Emily in paris, rory gilmore, Lorelai and luke, dean, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Lauren Graham, Alexis Bledel, Melissa McCarthy, Jared Padalecki, Milo Ventimiglia, jess Mariano, dean forester, why logan is perfect for rory, character analysis, Emily and Richard. Stars hollow. Season 7 finale. A year in the life Netflix revival. Maddy Perez euphoria, Lily Collins Emily Cooper, carrie bradshaw, Riverdale, Serena Van Der Woodsen, Twilight, Lili Reinhart, Aria Montgomery. Wednesday with jenna Ortega, penn badgley. Luke danes, lane kim. Rory- the OG annoying millenial by the take. in defence of rory. why everyone hates rory. Rory's downfall by trinity tay. the exact moment rory's downfall begins. character analysis.

[a-go-go]

She's not even an "I said what I said" girl she's a "Um, actually, I didn't *technically* say that" girl 🤣

[trinaq]

Who thought that the joke about Rory's boyfriend Paul being forgotten about was EVER funny?! She was clearly using him as a crutch when her journalism career was floundering, and good on him for eventually ending things.

[haileymarie]

The only reason i dislike Rory is the long history of cheating. I kinda despise the argument that people dont like her because they are too much like Rory. Most women don't sleep with married men. I feel like people should be able to call characters out without being labled a "hater" or "jealous".

[valami]

the rory gilmore downfall explanation video became a youtube genre and i am unable to not watch every single one of them

[laisp]

The most irritating thing about Rory's behavior is how she treats Lorelai's origins and struggles as if they were her own. Rory didn't suffer the abuse or difficult experiences that her mother did, she acted as if she was also this super independent woman, but she always had all the support to achieve all her goals, and still failed as an adult.

a good example is when even at 32 years old, she doesn't accept working on things she doesn't like, like any adult who pays the bills would do.

[brittanyrogers]

I think Rory cheats because she feels a sense of entitlement towards her relationships. She's extremely possessive and still feels ownership of her paramours even after the relationship "ends".

[trinaq]

I used to want to be Rory when I was younger, but now that I'm older, I'm glad that I'm nothing like her. She was fawned over by everyone in her small town, but when she got to Yale, she realised that everyone was just as special as she was. Not to mention, Mitchum was proven correct when he told her that she didn't have what it took to be a journalist.

[kurii]

I love Rory Gilmore because I adore how real her development feels. It's not a classic story of a perfect girl who succeeds in life, it's the story of a girl who was told she was perfect and floundered when that reality was tested.

It's odd to me that people blame Lorelai for Rory's downfall, because yes she wasn't a great mother, but she was a girl trying her best in tough circumstances.

[promisemochi]

so much of the issue stems from lorelai. from the time rory was like two, lorelai decided rory was going to go to an ivy university. when rory started to question between harvard and yale, lorelai acted like "how dare you deviate from the plan we had set" but it was lorelai's plan. whenenver rory "stepped out of line" so to speak, lorelai would come at her with the "this isn't who you are" etc. while never letting rory find who she herself was. it was like lorelai decided when rory was a baby who the person she wanted rory to be was, and tried to force that onto her ultimately doing her a disservice and never allowing her her own growth of self exploration.

[Lozza]

A lot of Rory’s issues to me was the fact Lorelai, her grandparents, and all of Stars Hollow did put her on a pedestal and often treated her like she was the best thing since sliced bread.

Even the cheating incident with Dean, only her mother came down hard on her for that. She ran away that summer with her grandmother to Europe to avoid dealing with the fallout of that. The only other event that transpired was running into Lindsey and her mother; otherwise, there wasn't a massive fallout. Nobody was gossiping about it or talking behind her back about it. That's why I feel she continued to cheat later in life, as there was no actual consequence for her other than her mother attempting to put her in her place and Linsday’s mother having a go at her.

Significant opinion: Rory would have turned out the same or similar regardless if she and Lorelai reconnected with Emily and Richard. She was a big fish in a small pond and was constantly told she was perfect. Lorelai was a friend more than a mother in those foundation years when a mother typically would be critiquing and allowing her daughter to have these moments where they screw up and learn from it. Rory doesn't see her flaws as anything to be addressed because most people around her don't see her flaws either and see her as perfect.

She might not have had quite the same type of experience had she not grown closer to her grandparents, but I still think she would have had similar issues and drama. She grew up thinking too highly of herself because of how they all treated her. She was an only child, abandoned essentially by her father; her mother treated her more like a best friend she could dress up and mold how she wanted to, perhaps subconsciously as a middle finger to her parents. I can't imagine that Rory didn't have help deciding her future schooling and occupation from her mother from a very young age. Most children have multiple thoughts and ideas over the years about who they want to be when they grow up. Rory doesn't seem to have thought of anything besides being like a reporter she has heard about.

Rory could have been a more likable character had she not been treated the way she was. Her only true friend her age till the series began seemed to be Lane, and I wonder if that was more Rory not being able to make friends or being too shy, or the other kids thinking she is weird, or was Lorelai not doing enough to encourage her daughter to make more friends.

I would have loved a prequel rather than a revival. Maybe going back to where Christopher and Lorelai met, and then had Rory Lorelai leaving and their lives from when she left Hartford and went to live in Stars Hollow up until the Gilmore girls show began. We could have seen it from the beginning, how it all unfolded, and it could have made more sense. I loved the tiny little flashbacks, but there never was enough of them.

I didn't mean for this to be so long, but now my essay is done, I’ll get back to sleep and perhaps finish watching the rest of this later.

[thatmessy]

Rory is unlikeable because she has a level of privilege that most of us will never attain, and she doesn't maximise on it because she wants to cosplay a humble life.

[SocialExperiment]

My biggest problem with the criticism of Rory is that is mostly rooted on the fact that she didn’t end up with the exact same career she wanted in high school and that she played with men and cheated and was pretty immature for someone in her thirties. But what they don’t understand is that actually her character development makes perfect sense given her upbringing. And it bothers me that people give way more praise to Lorelai simply for her work ethic but never consider the way she raised Rory. Rory spent her childhood being the mature one because her mom (who was in her 30s at this point) was still acting like a teenager. She also was working all day so she probably spent a lot of time alone and neglect has repercussions. She treated Rory like she was her friend and used that against her many times. She had many stepfathers and a real dad who seemingly never had to face the consequences of any of his actions simply for being hot. And also how many of us have the exact same career we wanted when we were 15? Her realizing that journalism wasn’t what she wanted and she truly just wanted to write books, makes sense, since all she was ever good at was reading regardless of everything everyone in stars hollow always said. It makes perfect sense for Rory to have a slightly rebellious phase in her later 30s cause she never really had any stability cause her mom was also bouncing from guy to guy. Almost marrying and then dating someone else. Going back to Rory’s dad then having him leave. All these things are all she ever really saw since she wasn’t close to her other family cause her mom isolated her from everyone. Overall as someone who definitely didn’t end up in the path I wanted when I was 15 and took my a bit longer to realize what I truly wanted I believe Rory makes perfect sense and just cause people only value others if they have a fancy career and a perfect dating life doesn’t mean that she is a bad person. Yes I wish she would stop cheating and participating in cheating but Lorelai was exactly the same it was what she knew! Was she spoiled at times and overly dramatic when her life was actually pretty good? Yes… but most people are also like that they just don’t see it in themselves as much. Also I think the hate of Rory comes from other women who also have dreams of perfect career lives that don’t wanna be told they’ll eventually burn out and realize a career isn’t all that it’s cut out to be and won’t actually make you happy if you don’t heal in other areas. I hope we see another Day in the Life special and we get to see Rory evolve as a mother and can’t wait for more character development. Humans aren’t these cookie cutter perfect beings that knew exactly what they wanted since they were children and followed through without any obstacles or changes in the way. Overall I love this show and I’m glad Rory wasn’t just this perfect little Mary Sue with no flaws or anything to fix about her. Most of us got shit to work on and she is a good reflection of this.

[Irohsteashop]

I think a big part of why I don't like Rory is because the SHOW isn't self aware about her flaws.

[zoelopez]

I definitely agree with the hating on female characters thing, in general I find that while some male characters are allowed to have some flaws or be an antihero like Don Draper, Walter White and Tony Soprano, women aren’t given the same exemption. In breaking bad, Walt literally kills people yet Skylar gets all the hate or even in the Office, Pam gets so much hate from fans and the actress that plays her, Jenna Fisher says she would definetly call the hate sexism

[jessiehook]

I think Rory’s disrespect towards Lorelai had a lot to do with Lorelai’s lack of boundaries when it came to parenting. She often referred to her and Rory as “friends first, mother and daughter second”, which kind of blurs her parental role and pushes Rory into having to take up more responsibility than she should have had to. Like with the termite thing, Lorelai wakes up Rory in the middle of the night saying she’s frightened the house will fall and makes them leave, then she repeatedly tells Rory she doesn’t know where they’ll get the money because no bank will take them. Rory’s obviously stressed by this and tries to get Lorelai to talk to E&R but she says no, but doesn’t provide Rory with any indication that she has a plan to deal with the problem. Of course if you’re Rory and your mother (who is immature and stubborn, I love lorelai but she can be that way) is freaked out because you might be homeless, you’re going to go to your grandparents for help. She thought there was no other option and didn’t trust Lorelai because Rory is “the responsible one”. Lorelai kept burdening Rory with her stress over their financial situation, and so Rory felt like she had to step up to be the “parent”, but ultimately disrespected and hurt lorelai in doing so.

[Olha_Koshil]

I have an unpopular opinion that Rory was sometimes rude and condescending from the first episodes of the first season. I remember someone mentioning that both she and Lorelai were sometimes looking down on the people of Stars Hollow. With Lorelai, it seems to me, it was more like joking, but Rory was too young to understand that and took it as a real thing. I mean, English, unlike my native language doesn't really have "you" for addressing friends and those close and "YOU" for those older people or people you respect/ work with etc. I was constantly thinking that if I were translating the show there wouldn't be a lot of cases where she used "YOU" while talking to people from Stars Hollow and even school. Even with Luke, who was always extremely caring and a father figure to her was sometimes being talked down to. When Lorelai plays this "kid who has a fit ordering a meal thing" it's like an inner joke, but when a 16-year-old does it, it gives me an ick

[esztopiros]

It's not that she isn't flawless. But the fact that most of the people around her still treats her as she is a saint (her mother, the town, the grandparents...). Careerwise, she really didn't have it. She only learnt how to compete in a school system but she never learnt how to operate in the real world. Perfect example, in season 7 when she is with Olivia and Lucy in Stars Hollow and she starts cry because her studies are about to end and she has no clue what to do afterwards. And in the movies we see, she didn't figure it out. So said that she refuses to marry Logan because she has big dreams and she fails and end up cheating with him. The other thing is, after Rory starts to date Logan we don't really see her working again (except DAR). She get the job at Stanford Eagle Gazette and it never mentioned again. Then she became the editor of Yale Daily News and moves in with Logen. (Is this a paid job?!) And can you imagine not contributing in rent in her situation? But the worst part is that she refuses to acknowledge she is privileged and offended when she is called out...

[zoelopez]

To be fair, I am best friends with my mum and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. She will 💯 % call me out if I do anything wrong. Being best friends with your mum is not a problem so long as your mum does make sure she still does let you know when you are in the wrong which I think any friend would do as well.

[ninefourninethree]

The downfall started with how Lorelai and everyone around in her life constantly put her on this perfection pedestal. Which most likely started far before we ever get to “meet” the Gilmore girls. We just watch it play out over time with her grandparents and boyfriends. Her entitlement comes from being told she’s perfect and can do no wrong. Then as she grows and inevitably makes mistakes, she doesn’t know how to take accountability and learn from her wrong doings because she was never taught how and never called out for bad behavior until she started making mistakes that Lorelai and others could no longer make excuses for. By that point in her adult life, her character, as a person, was already well molded and her arch never came. This is why it is important to allow children to make mistakes and teach them how to navigate the consequences in a healthy way. It starts from birth. Now we get into generational character flaws from Lorelai being a teen mom, her trauma, Emily and Richard’s parenting style due to their traumas, etc etc. The rabbit hole goes around the world and back again lol.

[Cherry_picks]

Just found your videos about GG. I grew up with this show and it's my comfort watch. (I do get the majority of the references tho and it's a lot of fun when you do :) ).
A few things on Rory:
There's a comment Lorelai makes towards the end of season 7, when Rory doesn't get the Times internship. it's along the lines of Rory is used to getting what she wants. And I realised that, yes, through the entire show, she gets whatever she wants. She gets 'the new guy' when Dean becomes her boyfriend. She gets into Chilton, even though she technically didn't belong there. She then gets Jess when she wants him. She gets in all 3 Harvard, Princeton and Yale although technically she is underprepared (meltdown at the beginning of season 2 when she realises she has no extra curriculars). She even gets Logan to be her boyfriend although he's not the girlfriend type. She quits Yale with no real consequence cause her grandparents take her in. She complains at one point about her community services being a full time job which is a joke. She gets 300 hours to be completed in 6 months which is like 12 hours a week. people in the USAwork full time at leas 40 hours a week. Everyone in her life failed so much at prepping her for real life - the one that comes with 'no's and rejections and hardship. Even in the revival she can fall back on moving back home or moving in her grandparent's house.
I am also incredibly surprised by the fact that Rory doesn't have a job as a teen. Lane works at her mum's shop, Dean works as a bag boy. She's the only one without a job, although she lives in a single income household. They do mention her helping at the inn from time to time but nothing consistent. Kinda surprised by Lorelai not wanting to teach her about work ethics given she'd been working since she was 16 and progressed from the very bottom to the top on her own.
It's also kinda funny how Paris says at the end of season 3 that she looked up high school valedictorians and they don't necessarily do well in life. That came out pretty true in the revival, especially compared to the career Paris made for herself.
Also on the revival - Rory keeps saying she's broke. What happened with the trust fund that Richard mentions in season 6 - he talks to Lorelai about changing the terms of her trust fund to be on condition of her return to Yale rather than when she turns 25. But that never happened so technically that trust fund was indeed available to her when she turned 25. Where did the money go?!
I also completely agree that Logan was the best boyfriend for her and that's actually how I found your videos.