The Real Way To Build Confidence

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Get in touch in the comments below or head to...

[freneticfanatic]

"You can't feel your way into acting better; but you CAN act your way into feeling better"

[cactusjackhausen]

"Action breeds confidence & courage. Inaction breeds doubt and fear" - Dale Carnagie

[rorinn]

“It’s more effective use actions to improve your thinking than to try and use thinking to improve your actions.”

[brennanleyen]

“Stop breaking promises to yourself” YESSS

[MongooseTacticool]

There's a line in the film "The Equaliser". Denzil's character is training his colleague to be a security guard, and he tells that guy:
"Progress, not perfection."
Perfection is very difficult to reach, but progress can be made easily.

[brndnwilks]

Like many others in this comment section, it's like he's addressing me exactly. That's me. I sabotage myself and break promises to myself all of the time.

[himeshsinghshishodiya]

This is what I needed to hear. Watching endless videos in the name of 'improvement' won't help, but doing what you have promised to yourself will. Thanks mate.

[Bennnnism]

So simple, but such good advice. Learning to trust yourself and proving that you’re someone that you can count on is invaluable. I’m working on it.

[fangblade]

There are days i dont wanna go to the gym but i force myself to go. Havent regretted that, not even once.

[harryr]

Action is the first step, no matter how small.
I started this by making sure I went to sleep on time and woke up early 3 times in the week. Now it's every day, and it feels amazing

[EtherTheReal]

Thanks Chris, i think i needed this. Amidst alot of turmoil and fickle life circumstances one needs words that kick you in the ass from time to time...the way you word it also makes it easier to accept, thanks for that man and your awesome work :)

[jasonriverwood]

This gets tricky when you're a scapegoat raised by a narcissist. Their very survival was dependent upon taking on the role of being a failure. Feeling anything good about themselves will feel like a mortal threat. Feeling pride, or confidence, or accomplished is too dangerous, and will be crushed which will further reinforce the tragically necessary feeling of worthlessness. Gotta take it slow, be aware this will happen every time you start feeling good about yourself, and slowly retrain your nervous system that these feelings are safe. Internal Family Systems is an excellent model to help with this.

[simoneisabelleortega]

Was having a moment. Instant success. Watch this short, absorb it and get going yall!

[kdhKJFGiht]

Looking back at items checked off of one's "To Do List" (even if they are small items) can help tremendously in this regard.

[siddharth]

I feel what has always worked for me is changing the way I say certain things to myself. What many people do is that they plan to make changes or improvements in their life by saying the phrase "I am going to do this" or "I have to do this". As human beings what happens when we do that is we subconsciously feel like we are forcing ourselves to do something we don't want or need. And as creatures of free will we can never give our best when we feel like we are being forced. So we have already made the act to improve a lot more difficult than it has to be before we even start.

What I think is a better approach is to change the phrase from "I am going to do this" to "I want to do this". "I want to wake up at 7 am tomorrow", "I want to go the gym today", etc. And it might be difficult initially because our words are not really matching the way we feel. But after repeating this a few times what this ends up doing is gradually programming our minds into thinking that these are not things that we have to do but are things that we want to do, hence making it a lot easier.

[sumtingwong]

This is so true it comes down to self betrayal, you have a soul and it wants things use your brain to figure them out and your body to go do and experience

[mrbritisher]

I agree if you had to pick between affirmation & action, action is the more crucial of the two however some people are crippled by fear & need affirmation to get going & keep going.

[squanchy]

This is some good advice. Here's the best advice I can offer to someone who suffers from procrastination due to depression: make a written list of all your tasks that you need to complete, even if it's as simple as cleaning out your room. Make sure you complete at least ONE task a day. Problem you face by leaving tasks to compile is that the list gets bigger and you're overwhelmed. If you do a few of these tasks, starting with the most basic, you'll end up having an empty list. This will relive so much pressure off your shoulder and reduce your anxiety.

[jonathancortez]

Chris, you are a godsend. Watching your podcast and clips that are posted by you or your team are just a breath of fresh air and motivate me to thrive to be my better self.

[mushrifahmed]

Right. There are 2 more parts to this. One is living in a way/doing things that you're proud of. Suppose you're not proud of doom scrolling on your phone, then slowly work out of that. The second is forgiving yourself for your past mistakes. Speaking from personal experience I used to crucify myself for some of the mistakes I made in the past... But once I forgave myself and started being kinder to myself I started moving in an upward trajectory in life.