How the Nuclear Family Broke Down

“We have an archaic idea of what family is,” says Brooks in a new episode of The Idea File. The nuclear family unit, Brooks argues, is a privilege of the wealthy. Across the world, 38 percent of people still live with extended family. And over the past half-century, the share of people living alone in America has doubled. The nuclear family is no longer the norm—and it should no longer be the ideal.

[agarrandoviaje]

As a child of a single parent, please don’t let your kids to grow up without a father or a mother.

[jayobsia]

The modern family is now an over-worked, lonely single mother. No more father, uncles, aunts, etc... It's a tragedy.

[SoniaSephia]

Coming from a large extended family. I have benefited from it a lot. I have dozens of cousins that are like extended siblings!

[pussaemuncha]

“Many things *conspired* to help the nuclear family”
“High wages”
“High church community”
“High social trust”
You say it like it’s a bad thing

[hgoodman]

A video about how the nuclear family broke down ironically doesn’t actually explain how it broke down. I wonder what happened in the 1960’s that initiated the break down of many of the societal investments that made the nuclear family even possible 🤔🧐

[utubefreshie]

I come from a culture where the nuclear or extended family is still strong and I don't think I would have it any other way. I'm Filipino and I have never lived alone in my life except for the 2 years of my separation from my ex-husband in America which were the most miserable years of my life. I'm single now but I still choose not to live alone. I honestly would rather deal with the little annoyances and irritations of living with another person than living alone. I have never gotten used to it nor do I think I ever will. In my culture, it's almost unthinkable (and also actually impossible) to live alone. Because of so many reasons -- financial and social. People don't earn enough to afford houses in which to live alone but also, they wouldn't want to or wouldn't have the opportunity to. Because you will always have parents or siblings or grandparents and cousins who will need to be housed. And I know this is unthinkable to Westerners but to most cultures outside of the west, the opposite -- living alone in isolation -- is what is unthinkable. The downsides are of course the lack of freedom and independence in a way. But the blessings are also so much more -- I'm single but not lonely; I don't have to eat my dinners alone; I will always have emotional support; I will not die alone. It's all that. But like I said, it's cultural. I personally just wouldn't want it any other way for myself.

[mrt]

I was raised by a single mother and she did her best and I turned out pretty well in terms of career and success so fortunately able not become another statistic. But now I am coming to terms with the deficiencies I have mentally, socially and personally by not having a father in my life while also ONLY having a female influence from the parenting side.

[garalynbearcrane]

Every human needs a family, were a social and physical species. Whether you make your own or are born into one our current society doesn't have the social engineering that supports a family structure. Life is still moving forward and with that hope for more than we have today.

[lioness]

I find western family system depressing and it is slowly creeping here No grandma grandpa uncle aunt cousins living together....

[youngsavagefury]

I grow up without my dad. I became a man based on how I saw the world. I went through darkness before becoming wise. No matter how old a kid gets they will always wonder it was like to grow up with their father and grow angry at both parents

[danabe]

My nuclear and extended family are very close. The support we give each other is priceless. Love and respect for one another is the key. I know that is lacking in many families.

[apuapustaja]

When a person lives alone they pay more and have less.

1 person needs 1 home
2 people need 1 home
3 people need 1 home
4 people need 1 home

See how it's beneficial to split up families?

[twittyfatcat]

I'm from Mexico and I grew up in a kingship group. My hometown population was around 7000 people and somehow we are all related to each other. 😁 In the street where I grew up many of my neighbors were my cousins, uncles, aunts, great-aunts and uncles, etc... When we used to play hide and seek it took a long time to find everyone because we could go around everyone's house to look for them. I had a great childhood but yeah it's hard to find privacy. And if you want to be more individual, it doesn't look good. Also because family is very important men and women are pressure to marry and start a family very young and if not they will see you as odd and they will tell you that you will end up dressing up saints.

[mrs.ana]

I'm lucky to be someone who is married with children and also a stay at home mother.
I am the *only* woman in my entire extended family that doesn't work. I don't think any of the other women even have a choice. Cost of living is too high.

Last year my grandmother got diagnosed with cancer, and I got to care for her for 8 months until she unfortunately passed away.
If it wasn't for me being a stay at home mother she would've died alone in a nursing home. Even more so alone due to the pandemic. I make a lot of sacrifices in my life and this was the one that opened my eyes to how America messed up somewhere. Families can't even care for their young or elderly without the help of daycares and nursing homes because they are chained to a 9-5 job until they turn 65. It's extremely disheartening. & I know a lot of women who would love to be stay at home wives and mothers but simply can't because they can't afford it, or because they are single are struggling even more.

[Kyiverdam]

My dad owned a house that had previously been split into 5 units. In the 1980s and 1990s, the main unit (apartment 1) had him, my mom, and me, while the other units mostly had my mom's sisters and their kids. So, we were somewhat in an extended family.

[yanikkunitsin]

"Disadvantages...sometimes you never alone, you can't get a lot of privacy"- dubious virtue, especially for people with different cultural backgrounds and systems of value, i.e. individualistic vs. collectivistic. That's what they teach you to take into consideration, for example, in psychotherapy.

[reneastle]

Extended families should remain strong and thriving today.

[christophermiller]

One coworker from India explained how proud he was of how common it is for the family to live together across generations... It's interesting to ponder the culture surrounding extended family units... in all honesty... I can NOT imagine living with all my family
O M G

[YousefBenIsreal]

This is a grossly over simplified explanation for the phenomenon. The nuclear family existed long before the United States even existed so to tie it to economic changes understates exactly what's going on.

[LivinJesus]

the system and the established lifestyle is what's causing the problems on the nuclear family. The nuclear family is not the problem. If real change is to be seen, with a better quality of life, then this modern lifestyle and the system that supports it must change.