Teen Girl vs Boy Convos

For one I know everything, and for the other I know nothing (except college basketball stats.) #momlife #momofteenagers #parenting
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Thanks for being here! We’re Kim and Penn Holderness of The Holderness Family. We create original music, song parodies, and skits to poke fun of ourselves, the world we live in, and (hopefully) make you laugh.

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[SuperGolgotha]

Holderness kids, you two should make a video like this from your perspective.

[dendostar]

I think the real answer is that your son is a superhero, and you’re just interacting with his secret identity.

[SheriHosale]

Boys talk more when they're focused on an activity. I learned this from my son's therapist. During their sessions, he'd play board games with my son to get him to talk more. I tried it & it works.

Also, when I drove my son & his friends around, I'd be completely silent & let them forget I was in the car. I learned much stuff that way. You just have to make yourself not react when you hear something you weren't ready to hear.

[Amanda-ggkz]

Penn and Kim, I appreciate you guys for respecting your children's boundaries with not forcing them to be in videos as they got older. We don't know what their school experience was like, and how they felt about being online, so the fact that they get that choice is really awesome parenting on your part.

[jenniferriske]

My son won this poetry reading contest and won. I ended up finding out from another mom. He never told me about it. I was like “dude, I would have come” He was like ‘nah”.

[jaimeg.]

My son, who is now 27, liked to talk right as I was getting ready to go to bed. He would come in and get all the words out just as I was about to drift off to sleep. I had to learn all things NASCAR, bowling and football. Now that he is grown he will just call me at random while I am at work to talk. I've learned over the years to not ask questions and eventually when he is ready I will learn all the things. I also can't get too excited about his sharing. It's a very fine line with that kid!

[cayd]

The daughter part is only partially accurate. She won’t tell you anything after school. She will wait until it’s after bedtime, when she is supposed to be asleep, to initiate her long, informative conversations.

[sharonmckissick]

My granddaughter is very shy. Not a get up and talk in front of people kind of gal. She would hardly answer questions before us, let alone strangers. But the family was getting ready to go to the school Christmas program, and 15 minutes before they were to leave she said she needed to be on time since she had a solo to sing. And sing she did. Loudly, on key, and a complete surprise to her family!

[claudiamiller]

Hi, you guys! My now 39 year old son and I used to have the BEST conversations in our cars! I felt really blessed to have that time with him. He was also, apparently, a really quirky and gifted writer - which I never really knew about until he brought all these hysterical written assignments home at the end of the year in fourth grade that had just been shoved into his locker after they were marked…with with flying colors and very supportive comments from his teacher. And this gift never really came up at any PT conferences.

[plove]

Soooo true. Kids talk to other parents. Make friends with those parents, but don't let your kids know you are friends.

[robinsaxophone]

I only had sons and you are spot on. “How was the prom?” “Good” “What was her dress like?” “Blue.”

[zaynamoore]

Haha, my kids were actually the opposite. Son was the chatty one and getting daughter to "spill the tea" was like pulling teeth. Happy Friday Folks!

[nataliegraham]

My 16-yr old sophomore daughter is not the most talkative but definitely is the 'disappear into her room - only coming out for food/bathroom breaks' kid. I have fun listening to her talk to her friends since they play video games together and she gets very animated, otherwise I don't actually lay eyes on her until I am going to bed and knock to say goodnight. 😄 We have some decent convo's if I catch her at the right time, so I'm grateful for that, but otherwise she'll just tell me watever she thinks I need to hear... true or not. 🙄 And yes, last year she signed up for a 'future healthcare professional' organization at school with a decent membership fee (that I would have been happy to pay) and I only found out about it when I saw the pin she got for it floating around in the debris field around her school backpack one day. 😂 Plus the occasional surprise email from a teacher who wanted to convey how articulate and participatory she is in class. ❤ Yay, kiddo!

[sarahdingeldein]

I have one boy and three girls. This is so true!
I'd pick him up from band stuff, and he'd barely say a word the whole way home (15 minutes). I'd get my daughter from band, and she'd talk nonstop the whole way home, not letting me get a word in edgewise!

[heidij]

This reminds me of a quote from "My So-Called Life". Angela (Claire Danes character) says: "My parents keep asking how school was. It's like saying, "How was that drive-by shooting?" You don't care how it *was*, you're lucky to get out alive."
School is hard.

[Ribinish]

Ok, so I have the same situation with my boys. More so with my youngest. I found that he would talk nonstop if we played video games. I learned his games and played a lot with him. Now he's a SR in college a state away, and we have "game night." He spits so much out.

[Drnaynay]

I get sneaky with my kids. I teach them words like "verbose, effusive, reticent and taciturn".
When I ask my teenage son a question via WhatsApp, I say something like "answer in a minimum of 6 different words that make sense together ". He has fun and rises to the challenge.

[BobbiGail]

3:30 yes! They do these over the top presentations or performances and we dont know until a teacher or another parent (whose kid invites THEM) tells us!

[debkuralt]

I feel so much better that it isn’t just me. My daughter is 6 years older and was exactly like your daughter as a teen. My son is about to turn 17 and I started wondering what I was doing wrong. Things were so much easier with my daughter when it came to conversation. I have learned to stop asking questions and just wait until he talks. We have the best conversations that way and I can see what is going on in his head. The other day he told me he thinks he isn’t living up to his potential. That was just fascinating to hear!

[homemaker]

This one was hilarious! So true! Although you probably know that even though boys are like that, they surprisingly “wake up” late at night and want to tell you all that’s in their hearts, right when you’re exhausted and ready to go to bed. It’s like, “why didn’t you tell me all this earlier?!” But alas, boys are wonderful and I do stay up and listen to them talk because that’s when they want to talk. Right after school however, it’s just like the video.