WHAT IS OCD? | DSM-5 CRITERIA | AUTISM & OCD

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Paige Hennekam
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[autumn]

I just wanted to thank you for talking about the p ocd. I cried along with you, I'm also autistic and have OCD, also a traumatic childhood as a lot of us do. The vividness of those unwanted horrific thoughts made me attempt to end it when I was a teenager because of how incredibly isolating and real it felt. Before I knew what intrusive thoughts were I thought those thoughts were coming from me and it still hurts to think about. Thank you so much for raising awareness, I hope it reaches others who need to hear that they are not alone ❤️

[somewhat-blue]

You’ve done something truly amazing by talking about this stuff, Paige, especially the more stigmatized and scary intrusive thoughts. POCD is so sad to me, because so many people — even people with an OCD diagnosis — never get insight about it and spend their whole lives truly thinking they’re monsters because of an OCD symptom. It’s especially awful because in actuality, people with POCD are significantly LESS likely to offend than a random person in the general population, because the very fact that it’s one of your OCD thoughts means you’re horrified by it and don’t want to be thinking about it. Thoughts that don’t bother you don’t get stuck in the OCD brain loop — just like you don’t want to get cancer or another horrible disease, or to hurt yourself or a loved one, you don’t want these thoughts to come true.

I’ve always had horrible OCD — even when I was five or six, I was truly convinced I was going to be murdered in my sleep if I didn’t follow particular rituals — and have had POCD intrusive thoughts since I was *literally still a young child*. I still remember the first moment of insight into it I had (from an OCD quiz when I was fifteen), it was that much of a life-changing moment for me — you’ve given so many people that moment by being open in this video.

[elisabethopp]

Paige- I’m so so sorry you struggle with all of this, but as for POCD; THAT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! You can’t help it, I promise you that! I’m a child and I don’t blame you, I can’t blame someone who can’t help this. Yes, it is strongly looked down on as those ACTIONS should be, but thoughts can’t be helped. You are so brave for sharing this. I’m proud of you as a fellow person who struggles with OCD.

[elix]

Intrusive thoughts are fucking awful, agreed. You are not your intrusive thoughts, they do not make you a bad person. Just in case any of y'all needed to hear that.

[miramari]

“You are not your thoughts; you are aware of your thoughts." Michael A. Singer (this keeps me grounded when I'm experiencing unwanted thoughts)

[socks]

As a child with OCD I used to hoard so much stuff. I remember I made these “blueberries” out of tissue and I made them because I was pulling the tissues out of the box seeing how many there were and then I realized that I’d be wasting all of them so I made them into “blueberries”. I got super stressed and obsessed with them and this one time someone cleaned my room and threw them away and I had a major panic attack. I had like a full on meltdown.

[samirdurrani]

Hey Paige, your really brave about talking about your OCD. I also deal with POCD and a variety of other OCD subtypes. Sexual Intrusive Thoughts is the most damaging subtype I personally deal with. Given what you’ve said in your video, I recommend watching a YouTuber called Chrissie Hodges. She is an OCD Advocate and in her videos she talks a lot about OCD, including the POCD subtype. She helps me a lot and I think you’ll find her videos helpful. 🧡

[aimeemcdonald]

OCD sucks!! However, I do disagree that nothing cool comes with OCD- I think because it’s so linked to autism and other forms of neurodivergence, the ‘cool’ traits kind of go unnoticed. I would say that OCD makes me a much more observant person, and sometimes the obsessiveness that is so unhelpful with intrusive thoughts can be applied as commitment and intense passion for things I enjoy. Like you, I likely have other forms of neurodivergence that I just have never sought a ‘diagnosis’ for- so maybe the traits are more linked to that but idk :):)

[aprilmilnes]

So I'm 31, and my first-instinct thought about the hoarding of the koolaid jammers Those handmade "recycled" purses were a HUGE trend while i was in school and if i could've gotten my mom to make one or at least teach ME how, i totally would have hoarded them too. Now i mostly just hoard jars and string/ribbons, or the recycled reusable bags you get from grocery stores, etc. I just LIMIT how much i will allow myself to keep.

[spunoww]

the way your voice broke talking about pocd is heartbreaking and it is so brave of you to mention it in any capacity. I am autistic and also have OCD so it makes me feel so much less alone that you've uploaded this!! I had a really bad bout of pocd when I got a job working with kids and the absolute hell it put me through is unbelievable. it's scary to admit to having, especially when people have such a limited understanding of how OCD works. ocd fucking sucks and I wouldn't wish it on anyone but it's nice to see others' stories.

[diagorm]

Oh, man. the intrusive thoughts are the worst. If I accidentally watch a creepy video then I'm terrified of that thing actually happening to me or my family for months. Edit: I just got to the POCD part and, believe me, you aren't alone. It's a terrible thing and causes me to be terrified to be around children, even though I know that I would never do anything to them.

[blackblackheartsss]

OCD is the one mental illness that makes me feel absolutely insane sometimes. This was so comforting to watch and I can’t thank you enough for making this video!

[elliekrausmann]

Absolutely love your channel!! I’m diagnosed with an OCD and Anxiety disorder and it’s definitely not what the public says it is!😂 thank you so much for explaining everything so well and shedding light on how these things impact your life!💕

[ZophieWithAZee]

hearing you talk about OCD and specifically intrusive thoughts so openly is so amazing, truly. I feel like no one understands how scary intrusive thoughts are, and this just ahhh I’m just so grateful for you talking about this and making these videos 💜

[ellechouinard]

I was diagnosed with anxiety and OCD as a kid. I don’t know if I would consider these “misdiagnoses” entirely, but I think the large majority of what manifested as these conditions was actually autism, but I was “too smart, ” and “mature, ” and a “girl, ” so it wasn’t looked into very deeply. I now have “depression, ” which is actually autistic burnout. It’s always funny navigating what is what in your brain when you do technically meet criteria for a given condition, but is that REALLY the full explanation for your symptoms? I’ve wondered if what I consider to be me engaging in my special interests (collecting, obsessing, researching, and such) is more OCD-esque, but it’s hard to tell.

[sambastien]

My hands are shaking and I;m crying typing this, because for the last several years I have been so afraid of the P one in regards to myself, and the instant relief I felt when I heard you mention it is the reason for m, y tears - thank you so much for talking about this, I hope this comment isn't triggering; I just want you to know how grateful I am to feel less alone and less horrible <3 (been diagnosed OCD since 9 years old, and I'd never heard of this)

[elisabethopp]

It’s actually been a discussion between my psychiatrist and I over whether the rituals I do are OCD or autism, or a combination. Like only eating with one design of utensils, which could also be my currently undiagnosed eating disorder. Or only being able to step on the white tiles on my school’s white and blue tiled floor. And I have many guilty thoughts even when I haven’t done anything. But considering I struggle with multiple of the other mental illnesses listed that mean it may just be those and not OCD, who knows? I’m 13 years old and have been diagnosed with OCD and anxiety, as well as an assortment of other mental illnesses, but possibly may have autism as well. I’m a lot like Paige, I’m great at masking and fully understand social cues, but struggle with many other of the autism criteria.

Edit: I’m watching this and every single thing Paige brings up relates to me, from personifying objects to contamination OCD.

[camiladolorestorales]

The moment you said "my brain is my enemy" I related soo much, I´ve never head anyone else speak about their brains like me.

[michalahardin]

Before I realized I was autistic I thought I had OCD but the doctor just labeled me a hypochondriac. To this day I struggle to separate myself from the labels others have put on me

[carolinac.pereira]

Hi Paige, I don't usually comment on YouTube and this will probably get buried, but I just wanted to thank you for your videos. I have never had a diagnosis of ASD (though I was diagnosed with OCD at 17) but so much of what you say in your videos resonates with me. I often feel lonely since it feels like I'm unable to communicate with others or that others speak a different language than mine, and it feels amazing to just hear you because it just makes sense! You seem so genuine and it's incredible. Thank you so much for making this content, really.