Best HFY Sci-Fi Stories: She Bit Me!

A playground incident...

An original story written, and granted permission to narrate by u/lanky-larry

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I am the Net Narrator. I will be narrating various tales from around the internet, which may be spooky, may be creepy, may be funny, may be awesome or may be something else. Stick around and play me while bored at work and enjoy!

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[toob]

"My human does 1d4 bite damage to your Rackir."
"That's weak."
*"Plus* 1d8 necrolyzing flesh damage for this and each subsequent round the Rackir doesn't get medical treatment."
"Crap."

[Primearch-GG]

I wonder what the ER doctor's reaction would be when he gets his first human pet bite patient...

[billcook]

A human walks into a bar, says to the bartender, "give me your best my Goodfellow, I'm celebrating. I just turned 21, and my dad gave me the family Rock". With a thump, the human places the 5 inch round, 2 in thick Stone on the bar. Another bar patron, a lizard species, says, "did you say FAMILY ROCK". The human says, "yes, it's been in our family for six generations now. If it wasn't for our friends the rocks, we would never have become an apex predator on our homeworld". The lizard man begins to laugh hysterically. And says, "just like a human, ignorant and just plain dumb. How can anything become an apex predator using nothing but a stupid rock? I mean, it's just a stupid rock"! The entire bar breaks out into hysterical laughter.

Later that evening:
Zeno doctor: "I've never seen blunt force trauma this bad before, nurse. What happened to him"?
Zeno nurse: "we're not quite sure, apparently, he offended some form of silica-based sentient life. All the human who brought him in would say was, don't ever piss off a rock".
Zeno doctor: " well, it looks like he's going to be in the ICU for about 6 weeks".🤭

[VanRahsah]

Well that puts the captain kirk plan on hold.

[KuDastardly]

So basically, humans are like komodo dragons to aliens, lol.

[drewgilbertson]

Well, apparently human/xeno kissing is out.

[noppornwongrassamee]

Liked the bit of world building where biological advantage was considered cheating by the kids but normal by the adults in a multi species society.

[LiveEmpire]

even you who read this, if a kid bite you to blood, clean it well

[quantemwensday]

I told her to be careful with her teeth when she was down there but
she bit me!

[klappstock]

For the Algorithm the story and the voice 🎉

[johnnyrotten]

4 D narrator ‼️
4 D author ❗
4 D algorithm

[JRRodriguez-nupo]

Floss, while data is scanty, flossing reduces heart attack, general atherosclerosis and Alzheimer. It is also good for your teeth.

[oldschooldiy]

Bet they don't "gang up" on a human again....

[ianpgmusicfanfictionart]

Cool, but I’m still kind of confused on which species was cheating and how.