Debunking Men’s Purity Culture Myths | God is Grey

Dr. Joshua Grubbs is a clinical psychologist and an assistant professor in the department of psychology at Bowling Green State University, where he researches the psychology of human s*xuality, the psychology of addiction, and the psychology of religion and morality. #purityculture #progressiveChristianity #GodisGrey #exvangelical

www.JoshuaGrubbsPhD.Com

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[ariel]

I am glad you talked about men as well

[angelaschweinitz]

Absolutely amazing convo. Thank you for talking about mismatched sex drives in relationships and healthy forms of sexual expression! No one has EVER said this to me.

[ieshacarter]

The idea of purity culture has definitely been killing me I am so lost and I feel awful just for having attraction for another human like jeez we dont need abstinence talk we need sex education

[lekiscool]

I’m asexual and completely disconnected to anything sexual. This was fascinating.

[cassied.]

I really appreciate how this video approached this topic! A lot of the time I really hate the videos that talk about how violence against women affects men too, because even though I think those points are important to make and talk about I hate a lot of the underlying ideas that tend to necessitate that kind of conversation. In many ways, it's framed as kind of "Well, talking about how this hurts women, who are human beings, didn't work, but maybe talking about how it hurts men who are human beings with more power in a patriarchal system, who are the ones hurting these women who are human beings with less power in a patriarchal system, will." The fact that approaching it that way actually works sometimes makes it worse, because it's like, "Ah, yes, now that I've made my trauma, which is caused by people that look like you, all about you rather than allowing myself to center my own narrative around myself, maybe you'll understand." Because let's be clear: women are doing most of the educating, and most if not all of the men who are supporting women and educating men had to learn from either a woman or another man that learned from a woman. I don't think these things are inherently bad, and I think it's important that we talk about how everyone is harmed by violence against women, but I just really strongly hate the way we often choose to or have to frame the conversations to get anywhere. That's why I really appreciate this video: you talked about the issue of men getting harmed effectively without making women's trauma all about men.

[bokang]

Notification squaaaad ❤️ can't wait to watch and listen to this ❤️

[BlessMyHart]

To everyone watching God is Grey, I HIGHLY recommend the podcast Reclaiming My Theology. It’s so about reclaiming theology from systems that oppress and challenging accepted constructs.

[bananalag]

Absolutely loved this interview! Please bring Dr. Joshua Grubbs back on again!! Maybe even with some like Tara Teng at the same time :D

[js]

A PhD of psychology from a secular university? Like American, conservative evangelicals would care about such opinions...

[FaithEvolving]

excited to listen to this on my daily walk!

[ThaMobstarr]

Dang so many ads in this video! Nonetheless thanks for making videos for us men. :) As a deconstructing man I really appreciate this type of content that affects us men as well.

[brianparent]

I’m an atheist and would love to see you talk about purity culture with Nadia Bolz-Webber. I love you both so much.

[mgrzx]

Arigatōgozaimashita. This was very interesting. Enjoying God is Grey now that I've found You from Suris. He speaks very highly of You, and I now see why. Deep respectful bow..

[AVspectre]

Dan Savage (sex educator and advise columnist) does address what he call the “death grip”. Men who habitually masturbate with a very tight grip can become acclimated to receiving that higher intensity of stimulation. He emphasizes the importance of varying masturbatory habits and routines including different degrees of pressure/intensity. I imagine that men ashamed or embarrassed about masturbation might be more inclined to use a technique like this to finish as quickly as possible. Dan advises men who have conditioned their sexual response in this way to abstain from masturbating in their habituated method (perhaps altogether for a period if able to engage in partnered sex). He claims that this can help men respond/finish with less intense levels of stimulation again. He doesn’t blame masturbation itself, but rather the lack of variety in technique and pressure. I am not in a position to assess the accuracy of his advice, but those looking for more information could probably find it by searching his name and the term ‘death grip’ as they appear in his column. He also does a podcast. Questions he answered cover a wide variety of topics, many of which might seem ‘out there’, but I think many progressive christians would agree with many of his core lessons (including ‘the campsite rule’ and partners being ‘GGG’).

[PjotrII]

@God is Grey First THX for running this channel. We need more of this positive progressive movement. The positive thing is that progressive Christianity is growing, slowly, but growing. We will (as we are seeing now) have the conservatives trying to demonize us and call us names, claim we are not Christians, but luckily it´s God, and not they who decide.

[kythrathesuntamer]

I'm an atheist just watching this happening and extremely grateful to you for your work God is grey. Thank you.

[Rosejapan]

Hi this was an amazing video thank you so much for your content! I absolutely love your perspective and the perspectives you bring on the show. Much love!

[qiae]

I think that one factor that needs to be addressed when it comes to parsing the specific situation that brought on aspects of this conversation is the rise of "incel culture" wherein there is a very strong thread of laying the blame for sex related subjects at the feet of the women involved, whether that be the claim that its entirely that women are being too picky and as a result these men cant find partners or if it be a perpetuation of the 'what were you wearing' BS. Just thought this was worth mentioning, as it is often the culmination of multiple intersecting cultures that leads to almost any actions being taken.

Great convo, keep up the great work.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

[Thethriftpicker]

30:00 minutes in he mentions the Bible verse about lusting over women… but it’s OK NOW because we can access MORE of it anytime we want… how does that logic make any sense at all?

[abigailhunt]

Finally, a man's perspective I agree with.