Am I really gay or am I really straight?

Have you ever asked the question “am I really gay or am I really straight”? Many of us wonder this at some point in our life times.

Many of us worry that we are kidding ourselves or in denial about our sexuality and we can feel the urge to box ourselves into one category “straight” or “gay”.

But what do these terms really mean and how can we be sure if we are really one or the other?

In this video I will take you through some guidance which will help you to get out of this cycle of doubt and become clearer in whether you are indeed straight or gay, or whether there’s something else going on for you.

Please let me know if you have any comments or questions and follow us @notdefining on Twitter Instagram and TikTok for more content.

Finally check out The Queer Spectrum podcast where we discuss the ins and outs of sexuality and identity like never before.

#gay #sexuality #comingout

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[kuldeepvsoni]

Growing up in my teens, I always considered myself as super gay. I was not at all attracted to women in a romantic and/or sexual context. I wasn't paying attention about figuring out my sexuality until I reached the age of 18. Out of the blue, I also started having feelings for women like really strong attractions. I came across your profile on Instagram, learned about sexual fluidity and labels. I identify as a bisexual man (fluid/abrosexual). Your advice of listening to my body and responding to what makes it cheer helped immensely to better navigate these attractions and feelings.

[chrisdolan]

Thanks, this was helpful. For me it’s been tough because I feel like my attractions have changed over time from more straight to more gay, but also appeared to have gone back and forth (cycling sort of). The internalized homophobia has kept me from experimenting much with guys, so I still have to learn a bit about what I like and prefer. I need to be open to learning new things

[Chaydex]

As a bisexual guy whose been really confused and worried or almost deathly afraid of being straight and "not queer enough" I really needed this video, I wish I could give you a hug man. Understanding feelings isn't as easy when it comes to me since I'm autistic but when you said about imagining who does the someone you're imagining hugging you have a gender, my mind first went first to my ex girlfriend with whom I had my first kiss and almost right after to my sweet ex boyfriend. Basically as long as it clicks I don't care about the gender of my potential partner, although my "orientation" tends to change when it comes to women vs men, with women I tend to or IDK feel slightly more dominant, mainly probably due to societal norms that are forced upon me but can't seem to let them go but with my ex bf I was a total subdominant guy since he was way taller than me although way skinnier than I am. Really good video mate, I needed to hear what you had to say.

[joaobaka]

How can I tell if I don't like the intrusive sexual thoughts or if I just feel guilty for liking them? I cry when I think I might be gay, does that mean I'm not?

[DRthistle]

Exactly. I've seen so many coming out videos where young people have wasted so much life (often well into their 20's) avoiding just coming to terms with what they really authentically like. I think most of it is just a subconscious or even intentional clouding of what they know they feel due to understandable fears, internalized homophobia, and the fear of having to come out.

[johnrichards]

Enjoy whomever you want. WITH NO LABELS. It's the labels that cause all the problems. Eventually, labels will be passe' and then we'll wonder what all the fuss was about. Just be.

[BreedLive]

w video. thank you for helping me find my innser self as straight

[stephanemercier]

Do I really care or don’t I? I don’t!

[OneWhoAcheives]

I'm straight but I had intrusive thoughts about them saying In gay when I'm straight and I've heard voices that accuse of me gay when I'm straight. There's been proof that I'm straight it's caused me stress and stuff it's been crazy it start again recently and it's been difficult. But these voices in the area when I. Home alone they accuse me of this things and it's been rough. I've been straight all my life but some trauma triggered this I guess. I'm reach out for help

[raphaelbalieiromenandro]

Eu tive dúvida aos 31 do nada me perguntei se era gay. Não aguentei os pensamentos me testei e consegui transar com um cara hoje estou totalmente em depressão e perdido :(