Stop Settling for a Less-Than Life (Do This)

On today’s show, we hear about:
- A woman struggling with her boyfriend’s relationships with female clients
- A man hoping to soften his cynical outlook on life
- A woman desperate to solve the combustive communication issues in her marriage

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As heard on this episode:

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[kellyturner]

Her: I’m dating this super awesome guy…
Narrator: He was *not* super awesome

[sds]

The first caller is 100% dating a narcissist. She is being gaslit so hard by him. He will never change. She needs to get out now. This poor girl her self worth is non existent. Even on the call she’s so unsure of herself.

[olivias]

Personally I don’t think a person who’s not yet married prioritizing their career growth even if it means taking people of the opposite sex out for business dinners is the problem- but communicating with women you’ve previously hooked up with while in a relationship is a big issue, that would be a deal breaker for me

[dianaprince]

First caller, you deserve better than that man. You are not overreacting. Your Spidey-sense is going off for a reason. Other people have taught you to second guess yourself by saying you overreact. That was their crap, not about you. I cannot encourage you enough to stop trying to please others at the expense of yourself. I wish you all the best!

[lisaware]

No private dinners with women other than your gf/wife. Go as a group. Who cares what is typical in this culture? Do whatever it takes to place the highest value on your relationship, you'll never regret it. On the other hand->most ppl don't decide one day to wreck their marriages; it happens one unwise decision at a time.

[LifeBetweenTheDash]

As a woman I took men out to dinner and I traveled with men for work. I always met the wife face to face before a trip and spoke specifically about any feelings they had and I always welcomed a man bringing their wife to the dinner. If that happened I knew that night would not be talking about business but laughing and communicating only with the wife. Once the wife was happy, then business could happen. Just the way it is.

[jewelweeks]

To quote Vanilla Sky to Colin as encouragement: "Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around." It's never too late!

[mewgiah]

Delony is right on this one. If you are uncomfortable about something and your partners first reaction is to shut you down (especially if they are calling you stupid or over dramatic) - that is a major red flag.

You can disagree on things. Absolutely. Your partner may agree with you. But they should still hear you out and respect your feelings.

So in the case of the first caller, the boyfriend should have went “I’m sorry this makes you uncomfortable. I’ll always avoid dinner with women when possible. However sometimes I have to do it for work. So what can I do to make you more comfortable with it?”

And then after that the boyfriend could have agreed to always text her when the dinner starts and call the second it’s over. But outright rejecting her feelings and saying she’s over dramatic is just not okay.

Like Delony said the bigger issue is the boyfriend not respecting her feelings and being a safe relationship that allows her to express herself.

[Satao]

Third caller😭😭😭😭😭😭 . Taylor, please please this is more than communication 😢. Save yourself and your daughter

[RadicallyFreee]

I’m listening in my car on my way to work, and stopped at CFA for a quick sandwich, and when I scanned my rewards thing John’s show was in the top corner and the guy at the register asked if I was listening to John Deloney, and I was so excited bc I have tried to push this podcast on so many people and I was so excited to have someone else say they love it!

[jeanedarc]

Most shaken baby syndrom is never planned, it just happens. Its a fit of rage a moment that turns ugly fast. I am truly praying for Taylor and her baby.

[angelaratzay]

To the caller, stop holding the world together. Take a deep breath look at the sky the ocean a kitten, the magnificent trees, anything in nature. Imagine now you are part of this life that is amazing in itself. Loosen up, the universe self regulates. Change your thinking. Practice smiling you are part of life. When you breath feel you you you.

[monopolyguy]

Optimism is a learned behavior. CHOOSE JOY 💯🙌🏼🙌🏼

[Runningformylife]

Taylor please speak to a counselor with your husband. My husband started declining where he would have these rages and I was so confused and I didn’t understand.he also never laid a hand on me or my kids but there were many times I felt unsafe. I covered for him and made excuses. After a counselor, psychologist and psychiatrist he was diagnosed with bipolar with depression and after 9 months of trying to find the right meds I’ve never seen him happier and I love our marriage. There is always hope but you have to set firm boundaries. I very much understand loving your husband so much and being so afraid he’s going to do that one thing that forces you to walk out

[daxdawg]

I lost one of my best friends this year to suicide, and I just wanna say. I'm glad you're alive, you deserve a good life, don't let this awful world get to your heart. I know how bitter it can make you. But you must trust and believe in yourself and those around you. It will be okay.
This life is only temporary, and so is our pain and happiness.

[lizzypop]

I LOVE DR. John he is such a beam of light in this world!!! Thank you for being intelligent, accomplished, and humble🥹

[vitareid]

John. you are a healing gangsta. I love you, man.

[lynngreen]

Taylor, you did the right thing by calling Dr. Delony. Your husband may go 6 months or longer before he snaps again. Each episode may get worse than the one before. He may be gaslighting you with words of love and future faking you by saying it won’t happen again. He either needs to work on himself and change, or, get a lot of support from close friends and family and move on. Your adult daughter will be glad you left instead of staying in a bad sitch.

[kathleenhardie]

In the conversation with Colin, John made reference to having "Kumbaya Moments". And I wanted to share an historical footnote about when and how that term/song came into the popular culture during the period of the Freedom Summer of 1964. While members of the movement were waiting for news about the disappearance of three young men (James Chaney, Andrew Goodman, and Michael Schwemer), Kumbaya was one of the songs of the civil rights movement, that helped those waiting 4 weeks for the 3 men's bodies to be found. It was one of the songs that helped the almost 1000 members of the movement to endure the conditions of the jails and prisons they stayed in that summer. It was one of the songs which helped the members of the movement keep their faith in the future of how our country could survive and grow beyond the hatred and violence of that point in our history.

Your show is great John and Kelly and all your folks. I am a retired Social Worker and appreciate the conversations you all start and encourage. All the best.

[ParentingIsPlanning]

She is already insecure and immature. He’s gonna play her like a fiddle.

They’re not girls, they’re women who are customers. They might be threatening to you, but you need to develop some confidence and create some boundaries.

His self-centered attitude is a red flag. He’s not going to he faithful. You’re in denial. Grow up. Run. And understand that this man is enjoying himself playing with you. Overly sensitive is for children. Become a woman and learn how to respect yourself.

Dr. John is correct. Do what he suggests.