Heroes of the 41st Millennium - Commissar Ciaphas Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM

Script Writers:
Takahata101

Alfabusa

Soundtrack (including main theme) by:
OfficioAudiorum

Art by:
Garrot

RudeRubicante

Gods-and-Kings

Video Editor:
Alfabusa
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Takahata101 as Ciaphas Cain

Karl the Deranged as Marneus Calgar

Pr0bait as Jurgen

xbubblemunkx as Guardsfan 1

D. Tyler Fultz as Guardsfan 2

Takahata and Alfabusa as random assorted guardsmen screaming and singing

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This video is completely unofficial and is in no way endorsed by Games Workshop Limited. Adeptus Astartes, Blood Angels, Bloodquest, Cadian, Catachan, the Chaos devices, Cityfight, the Chaos logo, Citadel, Citadel Device, Codex, Daemonhunters, Dark Angels, Dark Eldar, 'Eavy Metal, Eldar, Eldar symbol devices, Eye of Terror, Fire Warrior, Forge World, Games Workshop, Games Workshop logo, Genestealer, Golden Demon, Gorkamorka, Great Unclean One, Inquisitor, the Inquisitor logo, the Inquisitor device, Inquisitor:Conspiracies, Keeper of Secrets, Khorne, Kroot, Lord of Change, Necron, Nurgle, Ork, Ork skull devices, Sisters of Battle, Slaanesh, Space Hulk, Space Marine, Space Marine chapters, Space Marine chapter logos, Tau, the Tau caste designations, Tyranid, Tyrannid, Tzeentch, Ultramarines, Warhammer, Warhammer 40k Device, White Dwarf, the White Dwarf logo, and all associated marks, names, races, race insignia, characters, vehicles, locations, units, illustrations and images from the Warhammer 40,000 universe are either ®, TM and/or © Copyright Games Workshop Ltd 2000-2012, variably registered in the UK and other countries around the world. Used without permission. No challenge to their status intended. All Rights Reserved to their respective owners.

[alfabusa]

THANKS to OfficioAudiorum for the disgustingly good music in this video.
Please, I insist, go and check his stuff out and ABSORB the atmospheric 40k music into your BRAIN.

And, OF COURSE, big thanks to the boy himself, Takahata, who decided to actually spend time creating this script. I am happy to have been given the chance to release an essay touching on the destructive condition of acute imposter syndrome on youtube.com.
You truly are Hero of the Imperium.

++ THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: No this is not EP29, it's still in the works, am working on the Magnus scenes right now ++

[Demon_Decken]

"god I am such a piece of shit!"
-Cain while strangling a hive tyrant to death to save a baby

[phamthienphuc]

regular virgin Commissar: _shot his owned soldier to raise troop morale_

Commissar Ciaphas the Chad: _Shot himself, missed and hit the enemy general instead, raise troop morale_

[maniacmagge]

The fact that this man *died of old age* in the 40k universe

[EmberBright]

Commissar Cain even made up a monologue about being a fraud to help that Space Marine open up to others about his troubles. Truly, a hero of the Imperium.

[krzysztofbartczak]

Bruva Alfabusa when depicting other 40K characters: grossly exaggerate them for comedic effect.
Bruva Alfabusa when depicting Cain: 100% canon compliant.

[BaronVonMott]

Ciaphas Cain: the walking personification of "Task Failed Successfully"

[jarrettadams]

I love the bit in one of the books where Cain and his men are making an almost certain last stand, and Cain ponders how his men can fight so well knowing they're almost certain to die. Any sane soldiers would break ranks and run for it, or curl into a ball and cry. Yet they fight on as fearlessly as if victory was a sure thing.

He never even considered that they were fighting that hard because HE WAS THERE WITH THEM

[bmpixy]

Calgar being the one to witness Cain's breakdown is just another stroke of the man's incredible luck in surviving impossible situations. Of all the possible space marines to witness his self-deprecation and incredible imposter syndrome, it was the one who knew exactly what he was going through.

[guardianofthetoasters]

Calgar: mood kindred?

*ULTRA DEPRESSION CURED*

[gryphonofmight]

A reminder, The Emperor is aware of Cain and thinks he is a sensible individual and likes him

[coldfusion]

“Man, guess I better fight this ork warboss in melee combat and kill him so no one sees through my totally undeserved reputation of heroism” - Ciaphas Cain, Death or Glory

[christopherg]

Eavesdropping Guardsmen:
"Did you hear that?"
"Oh, ABSOLUTELY. We need to tell everyone..."
"...that Cain called a Chaptermaster POS and got declared his kindred for that honesty!"

[aaronbosen]

The worst part about Ciaphis Cain? He's a genuine hero, and *that's* what makes his life a sad joke. That he alone of all people can't see himself for what he truly is. Maybe in the beginning he might've been a coward. But he faced the enemy, head on, and fought surviving as much by his own skill and determination as by his luck and Jurgen's unrepentant hypercompetence. In the end, he hates himself for nothing more then being a human who remembers when he was terrified, but still standing up and marching forward into danger.

[barthvader]

I like the little touch of Cain being worried that his failures will actually _hurt other people._ The poor bastard.

[RandomVideoCommenterOME]

The way Cain just instantly accepts that Calgar is also a 9th tier bullshitter and breaks down in his arms is so perfect, I really wanna see this dynamic more in future,

[KillTeamHungary]

Tzeench: okay watch this shit - Im going to take all the luck of these Lamenters and give it to this Ciphas dude! This is gonna be fcking hilarious!,

[Willqer]

The joke of this episode is, there is no joke. That's literally how Cain and others around him behave.
Humblest hero=coward=brave man of the Imperium.

[suboptimal]

Ciaphas Cain the personification of “holy shit did I do that”

[wursthaendler]

This man died of Old Age in 40K, survived battle against literally every enemy faction, won a 1v1 against a traitor space marine and perhaps most impressively got laid with an inquisitor. Truly a legend.