Unification Day Parade | A 40k Parody Webcomic Dub

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No joke, the unification of terra took three times longer than the great crusade. That must have been a hell of a campaign.
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What Emperor wanted to happen: "In and out, 20 year adventure..."
What really happened: *Literal centuries of war*

DorkMatter
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Waging war is easy.
Uniting humans is divine.

heyeat
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It was implied in End and Death that adrathic weapons could conceivably harm or even kill the emperor. And these things were in the hands of petty warlords across terra. So the emperor might have been in real danger at several points during the unification wars.

sentinel
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I just love how the alpha legion is just lurking about in these shorts

ambassadorofreee
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Chaos Gods staring from the corner: "You haven't seen nothing yet, kiddos."

giacomoromano
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12 years later:
Emperor: "Okay, I'm off to integrate Mars and absorb the rest of the Solar System. Keep good watch of my genetic sons while I'm gone, okay?"
Malcador: "Of course, my liege, I will-"
*Le Chaos gods scatter Primarchs

Emperor: "We've got to do all this again, don't we?"

multiversepatriot
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I feel bad for em both, just now fixing a problem to later have to start on fixing it again is a nightmare

protogenhorde
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Oh shit I just realised how lore accurate this is. Alpharuis is the first Primarch to be found and in the book he actually attempts to assassinate the emporer while the custodes chase him around the imperial Palace

jackmason
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He wanted to conquer space and turned himself into a vegetable, funniest shit I've ever seen.

thespecter
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And here is the follow up :

The Emp : "... We need a vacation. Time to go screw around with my sons home worlds. I was thinking doing the most funny shit to convince them to join the Imperium. It's fool-proof, like all my plans always are."

Hugh
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For some reason, Ciaphas Cain felt MOOD KINDRED

rexlumontad
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How were the Terran Warlords harder to conquer than 90% of the galaxy? Was it because the Emperor had far fewer resources?

johnquach
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This is my head canon of what the emperor truly acts when he’s not around people

jackmack
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*Alpharius: **_"See? This is why I plan for EVERYTHING."_*

Brutalyte
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I was kinda expecting him to say "let's just make some generals to do this shit for us"

lordmars
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I kinda really wanna see a comedy series of the everyday life of Big E and his sidekick lil Malky
And maybe the Primarchs

leo_v
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Emperor & Malcy
"Hey Malcy, Malcy!"
"Ah geez, what is it, my lord?"
"I created Primarchs, Malcy! T-they're demi-gods made in my own image! They'll conquer the galaxy with their Space Marine legions, Malcy!"
"I dunno, my lord. This doesn't seem like a very sustainable long-term solution."
"Oh come on, Malcy. W-what *buurp* could possibly go wrong? They could never turn on their creator, their father!"

TheStargateNerd
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Plot twist: The Emperor and Malcador never really wanted to unite Terra. They were just the same like the other Techno Lords but due to a misunderstanding with the people who thought the Big E and M were there to help them when it was actually a coincidence, luck and other stuff, they were forced to play the part of visionaries trying to save the world so nobody would suspect they didn't plan anything.

MrTerrorist
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Hearing the emperor drop an F-bomb is hilarious. Just imagining his divine facade cracking just enough for him to chill out and talk like a regular guy is amazing.

GearShotgun
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To be fair he didn't have to build up his base basically from scratch during the reunification and by the GC he had the likes of mars as backup to help accelerate the buildup of force

cropathfinder