Is Marriage the Death of Sex?

People often think of marriage as the death of sex, but permanent singlehood is also the death of sex. Everyone wants a partner, and the deepest intimacy is nested within a marriage.

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[CurtHowland]

I am reminded of a quote attributed to Socrates: A man should marry. If he gets a good wife he'll be happy. If he gets a bad one he'll become a philosopher.

[donnafoster]

Being in a committed monogamous marriage was easy for me. He passed away ten years ago and I miss our deep discussions.

[jimmcfarland]

Men and women need to find a spouse who will not gaslight them, who will not humiliate them, who is capable of faithfulness, who has a deep sense of honor and who understands that the best way to love yourself is to love your husband or wife.

[maylynbayani]

Having a good marriage is a gift. It allows one to have a team mate who will encourage, challenge, support you in any facet of life.

[JudyG]

I think this is probably one of the most important lectures I've heard from Jordan Peterson. If only everyone could comprehend this when entering a marriage and put this wise advice to practice, just think of all the Broken Hearts & broken marriages that would be saved. And all the profound happiness that could be achieved.

[RockinTheBassGuitar]

"It is not good that man should be alone." The original marriage is an example to us all.

[TheZeroLatitud]

I've lost faith in marriage in the current day and age so it's refreshing to hear some of the reasons to do it.

[Shasta]

This June, my husband and I will be celebrating 15 years of marriage and I am only 36. Marriage is amazing. Understand it is dynamic, have humility, and realize you always have room to grow as a person.

[anushsaghatelyan]

I have been married for over 9 years now and one thing I can tell for sure- marriage is an emotional roller coaster but I have never regretted, I have a husband who is the best thing that has ever happened to me and two adorable kids without whom I can never imagine myself.
And in the end - my marriage has been a conscious choice and everyday I try my best to maintain that consciousness.
Love believe and give - the rest would be carried about by the universe.
Thanks 😊

[manosassassin]

I suffer a lot of chronic pain, my woman takes that away. We're engaged now and I'm so excited. Life was bleak and dark before I met her, she takes care of me, pushes me to go on despite the hardship, and she inspires me to keep making music despite my body hurting badly. I need to marry this woman, she keeps me in line. She makes me feel like an accomplished man.

[patrickthomas]

Shallow meaningless sex sucks in comparison to long lasting marriage/committed sex. Even if you only consider the actual physical act. It takes time to learn someone's body and how they respond to your body. The more you have time to explore that in a setting that is comfortable for both people (the comfort that comes from earnest commitment) the better the experience is. I had several short term purely physical relationships before I met my wife; and those experience pale in comparison. That doesn't mean that everything is perfect or that I don't sometimes desire variety (I don't know if that base desire will ever fully go away) but I always remember that the pleasure and passion I have with my wife cannot be replicated with any artificial substitute.

[bholl]

Look at JP in the thumbnail. Suffering etched in his flesh. Wisdom and compassion gleaming in his eyes for everyone, except for the many people he hates. What poise! I bet the professional photographer needed only to take one photo, and it probably needed little or no photoshop to produce this triumph. A great man! God and JP bless us!

[metrab]

Interesting how not so long ago marriage was the beginning of sex life.

[EhsanSiavoshi]

These topics are so important they shouldn’t be exclusive to any platform. They must be accessible in order for your message to be heard Mr. Peterson. Thank you for the wisdom you share with us 🙏🏼

[howardholt]

Jordan you are so amazing, you have such a gift, even though your intellect is far beyond most men you have the ability to explain things that most all men can understand… thanks for sharing your gift with us

[soffren]

Guys, love is WORK. love is RESPONSIBILITY. Love is COMMITMENT.

It's not valuable because it's free. It's valuable because it costs so much but is always worth it.

[JuliaBe]

At my 62 yrs I'm no longer interested in a "marriage". I have intimate relationships with friends and family, that is what fulfills me. I have finally come to a point in life where I no longer need a "partner" per se to make me whole. I feel great in my own skin and authenticity! What a freedom! Intimacy doesn't equal sex! Consciousness raises you above physical and into the spiritual. So it doesn't jive with sex!

[andrewwabik]

I got married a year and a half ago to my longtime (6 year girlfriend). It can be a real challenge, sometimes. Specifically, getting past my wants and needs.

The trick is to be engaged in communication and constant dialogue. I’m imperfect. She’s imperfect. Marriage is our attempt to better each other.

[jercasgav]

Lol this always cracks me up when people assume sex decreases with marriage. I have been with my husband since I was 20yrs old and we married when I was 22yrs old. We have been married for 16yrs and going after each other for 18yrs now. When we were in our 20s our single friends thought they had it made, but when you added it up over that decade we had a LOT more sex because we had constant access to each other.

I also don't understand why people lose interest, because we just seem to get better and better at our craft going after each other as we have gotten older...it is like out of this world at this point and light years more amazing than when we were rookies. Since we keep evolving as we get older, so does the relationship as well as the sex...so it doesn't feel like we have just been the same exact people the whole time. There are so many layers to our growing and understanding of each other as time goes by. I don't know that we will get to the bottom of it in an entire lifetime.

We did have just one kiddo due to medical reasons (I am at pretty high risk of dying if I had another), so maybe that is part of the reason we didn't suffer as much of a dip in our sex lives when we had a child. Speaking of which, I did almost die when my son was a few months old, and after this happened in our 20s we realized that even when you are young to never take life or health or love for granted for one second. The superficial things mean nothing! I also have focused on being a stay at home mom that home schools, and I only do part time gigs here and there...this gives us a lot more family and marriage time as a couple to be with each other which has made a tremendous difference too. You have to consciously create, invest, and put time into making a romantic marriage. Having a best friend in marriage and a partner in crime is a great feeling too. If you don't exercise you get out of shape...if you don't exercise and work on your marriage every day, it will get out of shape and lose tone too.

All of these things combined together have made it wonderful for us...because at this point we are like one soul in two bodies. While we enjoy each other's bodies immensely, we see that the real "us" is actually our soul inside of the body, and this body is just a temporary thing that will eventually go away.

[SammytheStampede]

The nature of moral behavior is that it is spiritual in origin. If you deny the spiritual, morality becomes fluid or a matter of opinion. And those in power have the strongest opinions. Especially in regards to enforcement.