Why Rushing Into Relationships Hurts You in the End

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The need for love can drive people who were neglected as children into hasty relationships that make life more secure, but that don't provide true connection. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who lives with a partner but now finds... she just isn't into it.
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Keep it short, not too explicit, relevant for this audience.

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[naughtywitcher]

I have no idea how I stumbled upon this youtube channel, but since I did I feel so much more comfortable with myself. I guess I could write an endless amount of lines to express how important what you are doing is for so many of us, but I'll just tell you: thank you. Your videos are so valuable and the way you communicate is so effective, I've been so lucky to end up on your channel. I wish you and everyone here the peace we all, as human beings, deserve.

[amoses]

I resonate with this heavily. I have been a fast mover because I felt that if someone was bold with their expression of "love" towards me, that was good enough. All I was doing was recreating fantasies of a relationship I never had. I knew this had to stop.

[PuolikuuIrene]

"I had the attachment wound that made me rush in relationship and the abandonment wound that meant I wouldn't leave" 😂 I gosh I felt that 😂 luckily I'm in a better place now, but thanks for saying it so plain and straight, that was brilliant lol

[joshcurtis]

People think you need to be in relationships at all times. If you dont take a break and reflect on things you will get in the same toxic cycle

[tamsparris-bah]

A game changer for me was learning that when you meet someone and you get butterflies 🦋 in your tummy, is actually a warning sign yor body is giving you telling us that this person is going to bring up our childhood wounds. It's the 'fight or flight' response. Not the 'this is the one I've been waiting for my whole life' feeling I used to think it was.

[PinkYellowGreen]

Rushing and aggressive attempts at relating usually indicate someone has something to hide, in my opinion. That something is either very dark, rooted in fear, or mentally based.

[teresareid]

I think we rush into relationship because we feel we want to be loved and we are frighten of telling somebody to slow down just in case they leave us and then that feeling of being left unloved when we learn to love who we are and be happy with our life it gets easier to stand your ground and say look I like you very much and I’m happy seeing you I just would like to take this slow to get to know you more and if that person respects you they will stay around if not they will go but it’s not the end of the world as you know your loved by you and you life won’t change because your life is going to be the sane without this person in it or not in it ❤️🙏🏻

[Mnalotus-pkpc]

I also have the same experience. My husband and I moved very fast. Pregnant three months after meeting, movies in at 4 months and have been together now for nine. I have been fighting the feelings of boredom with him. He doesn’t intellectually stimulate me but I always feel as if I can’t betray him. We have three homes, two kids and a whole life together. But I feel very unfulfilled. This resonated with me. Thank you.

[SweetUniverse]

I don't know anyone who moved in together immediately and it worked

[Augfordpdoggie]

she moved in, and the limerence ended

[crimeuncovered-silkekaiser]

Have just started listening. I know that I am going to learn something huge today. I have rushed into every single relationship that I have ever had. Been single for seven years. Your channel is helping to straighten my head out. Thank you always.

[GTO.]

I feel bad for the girl in this letter. I hope the person who wrote the letter can be more honest, kind to end the relationship. Set the girl free!

[matchbox.]

I have to say, this video makes me terrified. I rushed into my relationship 10 years ago with my now husband, we still have a good relationship and love each other very much. But I’ve learned so much from this channel that has forced me to change my way of thinking/viewing my past, etc… it just makes me worried that maybe I’m somehow lying to myself in this relationship. I don’t know. Maybe that’s also just the CPTSD not wanting me to enjoy anything.

[theplaylister]

I appreciate the shorter letters that enable you to get more quickly to the point. Very helpful video!

[NikkiEdmunds]

The worst thing is that people talk a lot but not about things that strengthen the relationship. It’s draining, very stressful and very unfavorable for the relationship. Not a good thing at all.

[pizzakrydder]

I relate so much to being attracted to completely different people after working through the trauma, learning to set boundaries and healing <3 I think emotionally unavailable people tend to attract/be attracted to other emotionally unavailable people because it feels comfortable.

[yvfhfcy]

Yep there’s nothing like coming home from a long hard day’s work with people being hard on you and having your partner greet you with a good, long, emotional argument 😳

[LucyTheBlackCat]

"I had the attachment wound that I rushed into these relationships and I had the abandonment wound that I didnt leave" 🙏

[RoadRunnergarage]

It kind of scares me off when a woman comes on too strong for me.... Like they want something from me rather than get to know me....

[PhoenixWave]

I want to sincerely thank you for giving me back the ability to feel alive. I've been doing the daily practice for about 2 weeks now and the change that has already occured in my quality of life is truly remarkable. I can finally draw more, do less self sabotaging, react differently and this single free thing is a crucial part of it and definately the most results I've seen in such short time. I wonder what's to come and I am deeply grateful for this opportunity :)