Book Summary: Nonviolent Communication - Marshall B Rosenberg | How to communicate better

Nonviolent communication, developed by MBR is a method to express our feelings and needs in an expressive and human manner. It has 4 below components.

1. Observations
Observations are facts (what we see / hear / touch), evaluation is our judgement & interpretation of it. We should state facts, not evaluations.
Separate observation from Evaluation
Evaluation: "You are lazy"
Observation: "You didn't submit an assignment by the deadline"
Evaluation makes people defensive & alienates them

2. Feelings
Feelings are being considered less important but feelings make us humans. We express opinions rather than feelings,
"It's not right to play loud music at night"
"Feel" word misleads sometimes
"I feel I didn't get a good deal" "I feel like a failure"
"I feel my boss is manipulative"
Expression of Actual feelings
"I am feeling frustrated"
"I feel impatient when I don't make progress" "I feel sad"
Build `feelings` vocabulary & express
Amazed, calm, carefree, friendly, happy, proud, thankful, afraid, angry, anxious, ashamed, dejected, depressed, disturbed, exhausted, frightened, hurt, jealous, nervous, restless, sad.

3. Needs
Needs are at the roots of feelings, every human has needs.
What others do is never the cause of our feelings, our needs are the cause.
We blame others/ourselves rather than expressing our needs Basic human needs
Autonomy(choose one's dreams,) , Integrity(authenticity, creativity, meaning), Celebration, Interdependence(community, closeness, love, support, respect), Play(fun, laughter) , Spiritual communion(beauty)

4. Requests
We should request not demand
Request what we want another person to do, not what to do
Requests should be clear, positive, concrete "I would like you to drive below the speed limit" is a clear request statement
"I want you to understand me" -- Not specific action

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[muskaan]

A comprehensive and elaborate explanation of how one can express more compassionately!

[santoshmanhas]

Nicely explained, everyone must try to improve the communication skills
Which in turn will improve the interpersonal relations.