What is 'breadcrumbing'? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[yvettedesmarais]

Can you imagine if we learned these things before we became adults? I would have been so much happier.

[Entyse]

Narcissists show you things and an exciting world just to later take it away. They are not there to build with you, they are there to take from you

[LittleStream]

If you refuse the breadcrumbing treatment by calling them out, they will gaslight you by saying you're needy and being too high maintenance.

[harveymalice]

“The relationship is only working because you are on board with them.”

SO TRUE.

[maryw]

The longer you stay the less breadcrumbs they give you.
They don't want a relationship they want a 'Situationship' they want you to be readily available to meet their every want and whim with minimal or no effort on their part. They are soulless monsters with nothing to give and nothing to offer you.

[AnikaDavidson]

Empaths, the full loaf is not coming ... & you deserve more than breadcrumbs.. I hope you understand this.

[alejandrinanunez]

I cried today and my mom thought I was crying because I missed him but I was crying because I can’t believe I put myself through it. 😢

[alexisaquariyes]

Growing up in a Narcissistic household a quote that really touched me went something like, “When we aren’t served love on silver spoons, we learn to lick it off of knives.” I can’t remember where I heard it from or who said it, but this is honestly how it feels loving a Narc. Even if it’s painful, we look for any bit of love then give us, and carefully learn to retrieve it

[PaperMario]

The initial love bombing was so great that when the narcissist takes his mask off and you start to be mistreated and discarded, you grasp at those breadcrumbs, hoping things will return to that point in the beginning. It’s very malicious and it’s the reason people have such a hard time getting over narcissists. Your mind and heart is stuck back there in the love bombing, hoping you’ll get back there. But nothing you can do will fix it. It was never real in the first place.

[skunkproductionsMLA]

A narcissist wants you to leap oceans for him/her.
On the other hand the narc makes you feel guilty for leaping a puddle for you.

[sparklyhomesteader]

Oh my gosh. 16 years married and the last two months i finally realized he was a narcissist. He breadcrumbed me for the full 16 years. The only thing that made me cry when he and I would argue was when I said “I am such low maintenance and you can’t even do the least little bit to try and make me happy.” Divorce has been filed. I’m done with this famine.

[ThimbleFox]

When you've been in a narc relationship and then are finally free, it feels like coming up for a breath of air after being held underwater for so long.

[ai]

In short, "breadcrumbing" conditions us to feel grateful for the mediocre and even guilty for just the little!

[Creating]

One of the worst things for me is when the narcissist in my life seems to think his behavior is normal. He acts like there is nothing wrong with how he is behaving.

[osaromero]

I think a "confession" or an "I'm sorry" can be a breadcrumb as well.

[ZRanchLady]

I call this "Dangling the proverbial carrot of HOPE". It's ENDLESS.

[windchimeisland]

Any validation they give you, no matter how minuscule, has a price tag. You pay.

[kenitcimm]

"A relationship with a narcissist is like a famine" - mic drop!!

[mLify]

Breadcrumbing is also known as Intermittent Positive Rewards and it's what gets us addicted to the relationship. We're not addicted to the Narcissist or the abuse, we're addicted to the brief positive rewards that are given randomly, and we never know when we're going to get them, so we continue to try to work for them hoping whatever we do next is the thing that gets us that precious reward. There's a reason why we also use this technique to train dogs -- it works.

[buckigal]

When the narcissist breadcrumbs, we empaths have victim's amnesia. That's the term i use for those times when he's acting all great and we seem to forget all the bad stuff... Temporarily. Its amazing how our brains can do that. Im a psychologist and I'm amazed at how I could suddenly forget all the mean and nasty behavior when he'd act like the man I thought I'd married.