9 reasons to NOT have kids 🤰🏼

Have you ever wondered about having kids? It’s something I think about a lot, and it’s something me and my husband talk about every single day.

There are so many voices out there telling us we should have children, and not many voices telling us otherwise. So I wanted to make a video for those of us who wants to make a carefully considered choice about whether to have kids or not. This is a video for anyone who’s ever thought about having kids, or not having kids. This is also to those who are childfree by choice.

There are so many aspects to parenthood, and for women, there is also the question about pregnancy and giving birth. I discuss it all in this video and I would love to hear what your reasons are for not having children!

With this constructive conversation I hope we can change the narrative from “Why don’t you have kids?” to “Why do you want ot have kids?” And make informed and responsible decisions about our lives, and the next generation.

00:00 Intro
00:26 1. You can’t afford it
02:38 2. Your partner isn’t right
03:48 Breaking up
04:40 3. You’re not prepared enough
06:25 4. Your life is full
07:30 Sacrifices
07:52 5. Not wanting to experience pregnancy and birth
09:00 Natural childbirth
11:00 Painfree birth
11:54 6. Mental health
14:28 7. You don’t know what you’re missing
15:00 Women without children
16:19 8. The world
17:00 Putting pressure on children
17:57 9. You don’t want to make the decision
20:10 Community
20:39 My thoughts on having children
22:13 One last piece of advice
22:38 Outro

Swedish Documentary

Sources
Willén, H. (1994) How do couples decide about having their first child - an explorative study Number 1 volume 24. Göteborg psychological reports, 24, No. 1. University of Göteborg, Department of psychology.
On What Matters - Derik Parfit

For privacy reasons
- All baby pictures are baby me
- All stock videos of kids are cropped / no faces included

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#parenting #birth #children #childfree #childfreebychoice

[cristinasantan]

After seeing my friends have children I feel SO blessed for not having any. I believe I would have loved them if I had any but I TRULY love my freedom and the surplus of time and money this allowed me.
AMAZING VIDEO, THANK YOU !!! ❤❤❤

[andreal]

What a smart girl. Most people never take these factors into consideration before having kids.

[melaniegodwin]

This video was beautifully thought out and clearly well communicated. I am a 64 year old woman living in the USA. I have no children and never wanted them. I had no grand passion that resulted in not wanting to take the time it would require to have a child I simply did not want to be responsible for another human being. I have never regretted this decision.

[tozomona]

Part of the reason I didn't have children are that I didn't want to pass on my depression and didn't feel stable enough. It's horrible when someone has children without really really wanting them. I never felt like that. Best decision for me.

[ruthsikorski]

I am 62 my husband is 72. We never wanted or had children. Never regret it.
However I will say when we were dating, I thought I would be obliged to have two children. My husband said, you do not have to have any if you do not want. That was a new thought for me and I loved it. Of course, no one ever told me I have to have 2, but it was implied by culture.

[vugdedh]

Your video is helping lots of women who do not want children and feeling pressured by society / family to do it. A lot of women feel alone because they are judged when sharing they don’t want children. I’m glad more women are speaking out about this. It’s ok to not have children. You are ok. Your life will be fine. Don’t let anyone scare you into changing your mind. Change your mind if you YOU want to change your mind.

[nanschafer]

I’m in my 70s now and knew as a teenager that I didn’t want to be a mother. I did lots of babysitting, had younger siblings, and many cousins. I loved and enjoyed them all, especially my husband’s and my nieces and nephews, and now their kids, but never wanted to be a parent myself. My spouse and I have had wonderful full lives and never regretted our choice to be childfree adults. I have to say we’re happy our sibs and friends had kids for us to love and support, but still, it was the right decision for us to not become parents.

[TheMissMonie]

As a black woman, I agree 100%. I grew up adopted and in an household where my dad was an alcoholic and my mom was passive or scared of him. Either way it wasn't fun knowing my biological parents didn't want me and then being adopted as well made me feel like an outsider in my own family.

[chardalasimons]

This is a very interesting topic. I'm 37 years old and don't have any kids. However, I am a school teacher and spend 7 hours a day around kids (except of course on the weekend, summer vacation, Christmas break and Easter break). People tell me how they don't know how I do this as a teacher and I can't imagine being a parent and a teacher. The idea of teaching children all day and then going home to my own children. That would just be too much for me. I like to relax after work and just unwind.

[emyywolf]

The problem is that people treat babies as puppies. They don’t understand that they grow into adult humans. 😂

[TheNamelessDoll]

I'm a 32 y.o. Swedish woman who has always been surrounded by children, wether it be via family or through work. I adore them and wholeheartedly believe that I would be an A+ mother. But ever since I met my to-be-wife, who knew that she did not want children due to childhood trauma, I began asking myself if parenthood would be the right path for me. It took a while but I did come to a realisation about myself: I do never wish to be pregnant, nor do I need to become a mother to be happy.

[ingriddenzin]

I am a 74 year old woman, childless by choice. Both my parents had mental health problems and growing up with them was a nightmare. They did put pressure on me to have children and even went no contact when I wouldn't. Still, I went by my own conscience and did not have children. It was the best decision I could have made and I have not regretted it.

[LianDyogi]

This was so comforting to watch. As someone who’s on the fence about having kids, your gentle way of sharing your points is so calming ❤ Makes me feel it’s okay to be still considering and taking my time.

[alexlogan]

The reasons why I don’t want kids is because they’re loud, annoying, and gross sometimes. It gets on my nerves, I don’t want to be around them I’m sorry.

[NZrqmq]

I will never have children since there’s way too much suffering in this world.

[TJ-kzul]

I am a mom to two children, and everything you are saying is 100% true! I have been extremely fortunate to have a loving husband, and the financial means to be home with my kids (they are now teens). We have had to make many sacrifices in order for me to be home with them, but honestly, even as teens, I only work outside of the home 1 or 2 days a week and I am still very busy with them both, especially because they do online school. My one child also has health problems, and I have always been here to care for him. Things are different now in this world, the cost of living has skyrocketed. We were fortunate to buy our home 24 years ago for 1/4 of what people are paying now, but we still have to be very careful with our spending. Grocery costs, omg don't even get me started on the cost of feeding two teens!! I definitely have not, and will not encourage my own kids to have children. If they want to great, but I hope and pray they take every single thing into consideration that you have mentioned here.

[bronwynlandis]

EVERY single point is so well thought out and I think we are all VERY lucky to have people like you on this planet! Thank you so saying all that you did!

[myuktube]

We both are 44 y.o from UK and been together for past 17 years. Early on, we tried to have a baby as it's expected of the society but after 5 consecutive miscarriages (incl., IVF), we decided to stop and accept to be child free. Your video is amazing, very well thought and quite reassuring to us.

[chandrikashantanand]

Your wisdom is way beyond your years! Such logic, yet with a beautiful heart, not intellectualism. I for one, decided not to bear children, and NO regrets as I turned 70 this year. Nothing missing in my life, infact, I feel blessed in every way. I had the experience of true romantic love in my twenties, and after 7 years together, we mutually went different ways, we are still best friends, long distance. I am a female monk, very involved in my social work which to me is far more satisfying than a nuclear family situation. I have friends and far too many social contacts! My nurturing instincts are more than fulfilled by animal rescue. One should go with their own heart and mind, not a socially imposed ideal, which is not ideal for everyone

[sloanchessman]

This is a great video! I actually never wanted children; however, when I was 25, I met and married a man who was 11 years older than I. He really wanted children, so against my own feelings, I went ahead and got pregnant. I hated everything about being pregnant, and child birth was an absolute nightmare for me…my child and I both almost died. Then when my daughter was 2 months old, I became pregnant again (definitely not planned), same thing all over again…it was horrible. My husband and I divorced when the kids were 14 and 15 years of age. My life was so full of unwanted drama. My children are now 31 and 32, and we’ve been estranged basically for the last 15 years (since the divorce). Their father passed away 2 years ago, and they want nothing to do with me. Despite not really wanting children, I was a very good and loving mother….but I guess sometimes love just isn’t enough. The one piece of advice that I can give to anyone is this: if you really feel like you don’t want to have children, don’t let anyone talk you out of that decision and don’t back down…stick to your guns….it will save you from a world of hurt! In hindsight, I wish I wouldn’t have been in such a rush to get married. I should have married someone who felt the same way that I did about not wanting to have children.