My Sister’s Husband Is in Love With Me

My Sister’s Husband Is in Love With Me

Next Steps


Offers From Today’s Sponsors

Listen to More From Ramsey Network

Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Products:

[ck]

My father was like that. Always accusing my mother of cheating. If she looked through the window it was because she was waiting for her lover. I can't tell how many times I heard from my father that my mother sleeping with not just everybody but even with my brother, her own son etc. Crazy stories. At the end my mother never leaved the house, not even shopping in the corner shop, didn't have a job, wasn't talking to neighbours or no one just to "keep the peace". Needless to say my father had multiple affairs over the course of their marriage, blow all our money on alcohol and his "ladies" to the point that we never had anything. He always spent the money on his needs and kept us in poverty. I went hungry a lot.
But the crazies thing of all that my mother always took his side, made excuses for him and the general rule was that he is our father and he has the right to do whatever he wants. Even in my mother's had it was justified that my father has to eat, drink whatever and if nothing left for the children then we would just go hungry. In a sense I believe both of them were abusive. They had a love/hate relationship and us children (8 of us) were stuck in that rollercoaster along with them. I'm 45 now and it still messes me up today
I know this story above is not that extreme. But my story did not start extreme. It started out light. then it went more and more extreme until it became unbearable. they were married for almost 50 years and passed away within 2 years apart. And I (and all of my siblings to be honest)am still carrying the weight of their "legacy"
Address this issue now please, with counseling or whatever means you need, before it escalates. Because it will escalate. And it will poison and damage not just you but everyone around you

[StrawberryFieldsNIR]

More often than not, unwarranted jealousy means one of three things:
1) He is cheating, so it is a smokescreen/deflection.
2) The early signs of an abuser, who wants to cut her off from family friends.
3) Insecurity, he needs counseling.

Usually the first two.

[FabulousCucumber-iphu]

He's cheating. This is a classic move by cheaters so that you're constantly on the back foot and justifying yourself.

[michellec]

I’m surprised Dr John didn’t suggest her husband start seeking counseling. The husband is taking it out on her because a girlfriend from the past wasn’t faithful and that’s very unfair to her.

[freddielind]

Had one like this! I worked 2 jobs, had zero time. I told him either squash this crap or I'm gone. We'll, I got gone...

[corbinskelton]

My wife was the exact same way with me. Always really jealous and worried about me talking to other women. Even down to my own supervisor at work! Until she cheated on me, she's not been as jealous.
So if your partner is accusatory or so worried that you are cheating, they're probably the one you should be questioning tbh!!

[OleensEmbroidery]

My husband used to think the same about our male friends and relatives. Weather they were infatuated with me or not had nothing to do with our relationship. His insecurities came more from his guilt.

[rebeccaoprea]

I hope she didn’t tell her family this, it will make things weird.

[elizabethmitchell]

If a spouse, out of the blue starts accusing you, more xs than not they are cheating! Its him trying to justify in his head, his cheating

[sumairymendez]

When I was 22 and 10 days old I married a guy 10 years by senior because I was told as a “church child” be good, wait till marriage and marry a man that has already lived his own life. 18 month after the wedding I found that he had a parallel relationship with an ex fiancée. The whole 18 months he would accuse me of having “googly” eyes for x y male friend. I wish I had known this was not insecurity but projection. 😢

[ithinkigottalent]

I dated a guy like that. Ex-wife cheated, and he was extremely insecure, even when talking to my dad and brother.

[Soulshine]

I had a husband that did this with me and always questioned whether I was flirting, or wearing something that got attention of other men etc. He'd also talked about one of his friends cheating on his wife to deflect from himself. Turns out he had cheated repeatedly whenever he had the chance and then told on other men like he disapproved.

[AzMtnsMe]

My husband thinks all men are in love with me, lol. He isn't jealous but feels honored. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea.

[juanrubio]

Everyone in the comments is just accepting her story without hearing the husband's side. I believe both of them should come on the show to share their perspectives. When we only hear one side, it often turns into a 'he said, she said' situation.

[breezeh]

You NAILED this one❤You asked all the right questions and you were empathetic to her and to him. This was awesome.

[Sunshine-hbtx]

It will never stop. My husband has accused me of having affairs with my lady friends and guy friends . Even when I'm out with friends he gets jealous that I have more fun with other people. I've left I found myself isolated from friends and family.

[AndreDMalan]

I'm older sister's husband actually was in love with my younger sister. He used to phone her after his wife was in bed and was very touchy feely at family gatherings. When the phone calls started my younger sister told me. I got a known thug to phone him and threaten to break his knees if he didn't stop. 😂
Of course he knew that I arranged the call and I was banned from their house, which was fine by me

[esomsel]

Lol I'm oblivious too. My husband will squeeze my butt no matter where we are if he thinks a guy is checking me out. 😂

[Alexander]

I'd like to hear the husband's side of the story. I don't know if he is in the right or not, but I feel like we are missing a lot of info here.

1) Why does he feel that the sister's husband is attracted to his wife?
2) How long has the husband felt that way?
3) What were some of the other circumstances where he was jealous/possessive of his wife?
4) Does she flirt with other men?
5) While she hasn't cheated on her husband, did she have a history of infidelity? It doesn't sound like she does, but I'd still ask.
6) She says her husband was cheated on in the past, what were the circumstances behind it? How long ago was this?
7) Was the brother in law a player in the past?

There is a lot of information that we don't know.

[javiermorales]

We need to hear his side on this, because maybe she is too flirty, or maybe the brother in law flirts too much then boundaries need to be set. Something is triggering it. I think communication just needs to be had