Shameless behavior.

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[kellygreenii]

They are used to getting away with bullying people. You won’t get them to stop. But you can get out of the way and stop allowing yourself to be bullied.

[hellefreude]

Truly! Especially the last sentence - WE often carry the shame for THEIR behaviour and I've come to believe, we carry the shame for who they are even! They've projected their own shame into us...( projective identification) ...

[RowanRiven]

I'll never forget the gobsmacked look on my father's face when I confronted him on something he always said to me to try to shut me down. He started in for the umpteenth time with, "I don't know why I never have trouble getting along with anybody but you, " and I said, "Because you don't treat anybody else the way you treat me. If you did, you wouldn't have a single friend."

It was one of the only times I put him on the back foot. He was used to me trying to appease him, and I was d-o-n-e done. I don't think he felt any shame, but it was the first time I really felt myself starting to shed my own for how our relationship never worked no matter how hard I tried. I was never the problem.

[SonjaBlade]

Very poignant wisdom, I sincerely appreciate your insight. It's really challenging to have a family member like this. ❤

[Jillrussell-mjyw]

100% spot on. Thanks for this Patrick ❤

[MonsieurChapeau]

Yes, we are so conditioned that we should give this person an exemption, what a lie.

[chelseabunker]

What gets me is how obvious they are but also how unbelievable their behavior is to healthy people that nobody seems to believe that it is real and actually happening/happened. Then it warps reality into wondering who is actually the problem? Maybe it is all made up? It is mind spinning and disorienting to the person being abused by others second guessing or judging their experience because the boundary breeches and strange behavior are so unfathomable

[myroc]

The look of shock and concern when we sat my parents down and told them none of us would come back to their home if they didnt stop inviting their predator friend over. Dude did 8 years in jail and had it on his computer "by accident, "but they were more shaken by our attempts to set a boundary.

[tonikuiper]

So true. Thank you for helping so many. I have lived my life holding my parents' and husband shame behavior. My husband is totally removed from how he affects other people. His untouchable attitude I was compulsive in my need from judging myself harshly

[marycampeau]

i was ashamed of my sister! i have only now started to talk about her

[keariewashburn]

58 years old and I'm so depressed. I have medical issues. Leukemia being one. I have done pretty damn good for about the last 15 years. But the last two years have really done me in. 😢 kinda stuck. This year has drained me entirely taking care of mom. Hospital 7 times. I'm a nurse that just had to stop even small work. I'm so burned out. So many issues. Need a therapist I can afford. But not one here in AL. ( not good) idk. I hope I feel better soon. Maybe just not a good day for me. Love to everyone ❤️ and thank you Patrick for your videos and shorts. They really help everyone and helps for us to get perspective on our thoughts/ experiences.

[meganjohnson]

Thank you, Patrick. Always speaking truth..:keep it up! Respect, sir! 💕

[A.M-bt]

It doesn't even have to be a parent, shameless people act the way they do because everyone lets them get away with it or excuses their shitty behavior with some BS reason. They would be all by themselves if this wasn't what's happening. Reflection of other people's behavior is almost as important as reflecting on your own.

[jwhalen]

And yet, despite the shameful way of behaving, they get away with it because of the many enablers that surround them and those that don't want to speak up because "that's just how she is" 😕

[karenfisher]

Wow. 🎯 when you’re in the middle of that world, you don’t realize you’re in the middle of that world.

[craigmerkey]

IKR developing self awareness is exhausting!

[aking]

My mother constantly treated me as competition...

[mjaye]

Yeah, I have relatives who do shameless stuff, often in the name of "keeping it real." I think of one relative who took a funeral service off program with a teary meltdown that came across to me like it was for attention. Another relative encouraged him in the behavior.

Other relatives tell off-color jokes in inappropriate situations, ridicule each other mercilessly, etc.

I learned to not absorb it.

[herbsncats]

That last sentence was really interesting - could you please elaborate on "we carry the shame about who they are."?

[lizzie]

I started remarking to my mother, unkind! That wasn’t kind. And just let her do with it as she would. No expectation of changing her. Just needed to remind myself of my values and that she likes to practice shinagens.