The Art of Asking Good Questions: Autistic Communication Strengths #shorts #audhd

Excerpt from Autistic Adult Bingo

[heatnicoleher]

I left my asd assessment appointments thinking, "he didn't ask the right questions!!"

[dallinorr]

Sheesh, y’all really are my people. Lol
I have had a note on my phone for 5yrs now, called “Good questions” that I slowly add to.

[arronsmith]

I have high levels of ADHD. I often have people tell me "No one's ever asked me that question before...."

Simple things, like "what's the thing you love most about yourself?" can really catch people off guard.

Part of me feels like my non-typical brain makes it easier for me to put those questions out there, knowing it's going to require some level of deeper thought to respond to.

[takinoborudesu]

Oh this is interesting! So my boyfriend is autistic and it's the opposite with us, he really struggles with asking questions in conversations. It can really depend on the person, and plus autism can be very different in men and women. Thanks for sharing this!

[madnessintomagic]

Amen to this. People will be shocked by *actual* questions, based on the subject, that nobody else seems to ask or even wonder about - and those are the questions that get snide answers or non-answers. As usual, we’re not the problem.

[mallarieanderson]

YES! As a cashier, I spend so much time polishing scripts, memorizing copy/paste phrases, and thinking of innocuous-yet-genuine questions to make transactions pass…then sometimes I’ll embrace the pause and realize the people I’m talking to are generally investing no brain power at all into our interaction

[alexandertownsend]

It is because asking questions is seen as rude, sinful, taboo, or whatever other bad thing, in some groups of people. I blame the education system.

School spends so much time on teaching us how to ANSWER questions that it fails to effectively teach us how to ASK questions. People need more practice. There needs to be less shame around asking questions.

If you are worried that a question you want to ask is bad or stupid, don't be. Everyone askd bad questions sometimes. Asking good questions is an art form. Don't expect every painting, musical composition, or question you create to be a masterpiece.

If your questions are bad, keep practicing, get constructive feedback, and learn from it. You will get better over time.

[swagger]

Haha this made my day! This is so me!!

[LilFishFinger]

Fr how do people go through their entire lives without knowing EVERYTHING 😂

[naomigonzalez-bell]

In all honesty, I was never really taught how to ask questions and have been consistently mocked by others for not already knowing the answer

[sarahkelly]

I would say the talent of asking good questions extends only to areas of interest or occupation. Used to write software requirements for a living and asking the right questions is 70% of the job (the other 30% is documenting). I find that allistics hardly ever say what they mean, making the task of asking the right questions even more necessary.

[pearcat]

This is actually a problem in my marriage. Whenever my partner is talking about something that interests him or is important to him I always end up asking a lot of good questions (I mean, I think they are good questions - ones that show that I am engaged with him and interested in him and what he is talking about). But when I am talking about something I am interested in or care about he just...doesn't. Doesn't ask any questions or even have anything to really say about what I am telling him and it makes me feel immeasurably sad and unimportant.
ETA: thanks for reading me comment. It helped a little just to type it out.

[Qing_Quono]

All the teachers in the school call all my questions "really deep" and are surprised I'm into the topics

[cchap]

Funny you mention this 😅 During high school at an end of season banquet for my extracurricular group, when they hand out funny awards to everybody, when it was my turn to receive an award - Guess what I got?!?! When the other girls were getting like “Most likely to become a teacher, ” “Most likely to lose her keys, ” “Most likely to hike Mt. Everest, ” I got… “Most Likely to Ask 20 Questions!” 🤔 Another missed clue? 😅

[alexismcmackin]

I ask the questions that no one wants to answer or they don’t have the information and I end up making things awkward. It’s how I make friends everywhere I go, lol.

[catie]

It's like other people put almost zero thought into what they say, meanwhile we're all literally memorizing scripts and tweaking them as we figure out how to better word things, etc.

Absolutely wild to think that not everybody does that.

[KP-uspq]

I literally get visibly annoyed by people’s bad questions! I am working on trying not to look annoyed. It really ruins a conversation just as much as bad questions do 😂

[CosmicGardener]

I always wish more people understood what constructive criticism is and gave feedback to me more often. I can't change or fix what i don't know.

Heres my formula for academic constructive crit that i learned from art classes. I think it can apply to so many things.
I think [ ] is good because [reason/trait/etc], it could be better if [ ].
I think [ ] is bad because [reason/trait/etc], it could be better if [ ].

And of course if soemthing is good the improvment portion isnt as necessary but i think it helsp with growth esp in objective flexible stuff

[jessicalearning]

OMG. This is my main issue with the person who’s supposed to ‘assist’ me at work!!! Something doesn’t quite make sense but they dont ask a question. It ends up being a full day before I figure out a question should have been asked.

[buildtherobots]

At my old job it annoyed my old boss to no end how many questions I would ask. But the thing is that she was often not clear about her instructions which necessitated me asking for clarification. She did try to pull a "no more questions today" move but it didn't last long and may have backfired on her when I had a question that actually was important.